pains end

pain, the universal, the essence of our existence we are told, the misery of attachments. the attachment to attachments. all is undone when we see the unending necessity of the play and the passion that is the seed of all we hold dear, the fruits of our desires. for what could be beyond that, in the next realm of no attachments, the recluse, the aesthetic, the penitent, none of these is the truth. that which is, is that which we are. the being beyond the vital, the mental, the whole experience that never ends and never devours that which is its source.we tremble with our feelings, what could ever replace that, trembling with divine acceptance, filled with the perfect inspiration that is not man made.responsibilities only for the providence of the spirit, that all things celestial are what we are here for, that everything in our lives knows that is what our purpose is and we are supported every step of the path, unending, always pefectly and always without question.

universal mind

awakened in this body i came to realize, i had actually fallen asleep. for what i knew as myself was only the fraction of me that knew nothing.the rest was yet to be found. as i grew i knew, i felt, i sensed the rest, as if from a great distance, i imagined myself to be in some far distant galaxie from the truth, existing alone and without any recourse to that which i sensed was truly my reality. The world suffered and so did i, knowing was never close enough, i needed to be that whatever the cost. i slipped into the suit of self as natural as a magpie in a murder of crows, there was a likeness but never the feathers matched.the mind trembled at the thought that there was a higher reality awaiting me. i was walking in the refuge and realized i was becoming conscious in my body, conscious of all that i am and all that i possess. in me there is the engine of being fully coordinating every cell every process, every neuron and ferreoultube of awareness to regulate this body perfectly, to create health and regeneration for all the damage done and all the fear of my mind throughout my life.
there is the truth, the self that is in charge and beyond that the self that is always connected to every subtle body and every force and energy in the universe, synchronized and merged everlasting to this body of flesh, the form through which the transformation of matter and light takes place. inside this brain the billions of connections are firing beyond measure connecting to every impulse of creation and nothing ever stops. the only difference is the function of the "conscious" mind, which is the unconsciousness that has afflicted me all my life. in every neuron there is the 1% reserved for the actions of the conscious mind, the space and time keeper, the telemetric memory box that is supposed to keep me from walking off cliffs and getting burned in a wildfire. its supposed to click on when the body feels threatened, the fight or flight syndrome, and then shut off once the danger is gone, but now i realize it never shuts off, the mind begins to create the environment where the fear never stops and it never shuts down, so we only experience its amazing stupidity, instead of our amazing universal consciousness, hidden in the other 99% of the neural explosions occurring without end.
the whole trick to enlightenment is to shut off the nagging "conscious" mind and let the connection to the true self exist. As soon as the mind shuts down, the opening begins, the connection is instantaneous, we have trouble realizing its that easy, as soon as the mind starts back up it invalidates the experience, trust the soul the heart, never the mind. the secret of all the yogis all the holy men, the witch doctors and miracle workers, connect to the silent mind, connect to the universal awareness waiting inside. nothing else is needed but to trust that part of yourself to care for you as it has continuously since you were a zygote, and it will heal and regenerate everything, just let the idiot mind go, and find the true source of your life, the one right here right now, just 1% of a neuron away from you, one thought from being here now.

belfried domes

last festers gloom of maidens votive enjoiced and deeded
with clamored praises heartened slumbers taken nown
dread supplicant renounce come dangered warries
let dinning clamor unloose wit maddened tellings
of kinds place unmentioned fare repast
treat crux of foundings restless waiting
sleeps harpings quiet near fearsome painted dwells
neath candles set twixt cupboards rulings
left sextants parlor crouched near grounding fires bore
scents plied withering airs in downy wools suborn
crossly tapping plunders onto kiltering meadows cove
granted willful foundlings thar fell camps hurried
past barrows deepened wares compose
come flaxen twinkle pixied passions
readly pricks entreat with buckled console given
mated ardors wafting heavens ford in fevered contest
justly warted flighting kinsfolks under mooning swards
desperate congeries convoke ruddy mantlings
all come timbered fen lain dune and drawn
midst sated peats ere belfried domes consort

heavenly down

wingless morning arise and tiptoe into scarlet
befuddle evens darkful patter fore the light
when christened dome pinch chillburned sky
lest easterly's riposte unnaturally found
without herons wing alight and pressed heavenly down
skit camper reckless windings fled canvas bound
where flame and rock sunder murkled storms confers
wake skyward petalled campus blooms drips elixir borne
seek everward defiles obsidian's crowned glories
with unspeakable midwifery of radiance loosed
triumphant bastions breached morn's desperate lair
held funnels piercing legions unslept quarters dare
now candles ends requires far clambering wintered's prose
come flushing fecksome slumbers past godsakens compose
end postulated happenstance lest ordain repose no more

wakened knowing

i am feeling the samadhi
its trembling within
all is frozen in liquid love
my heart is one beat of loves divine being
forever giving
forever filling
letting go
letting more love go further and further
endless reaching
here always being
always wonderfully flying into the heart of the sun
stillness beyond motion endlessly
this moment exists within us always
pure
complete
growing
silent
deeply transcendent
purple waves of supreme manifestation
indelible meaning unspoken
wheels of karma still
wonder overtaken by presence
light within white
planets connecting
galaxies awakened
universe constant unending
whisper of supreme silence descending
there sparkling infinite is formed
pressed wondrous to the unmade perfection
unmade from beyond the form
light saturates behind the glowing wakened knowing
there emptiness is finally overcome
and pale centuries unknown become
no meteors of persuasion but felt mated fantasy entreat
lidded mansions herald forgotten before the timelessness detour
under held sequestered pilgrimages taken lightly from heavens ford
rivers filled with man made gods devotion plentied and ignored
with emptied hearts and fulcrums filled from minds harvested and cold
winters done and formidable pleasures untold devoured by one soul
until the emptiness sharp and quickly broken took even that apart from his only hand
left empty once and only woman made him whole
where mothers breast swayed from cheek to toe and played loving before the mind took hold
the mansions dim become the fortress told
play fright and fear and touch and part never leaving but in grace and understanding nothing but the emptiness fulfilled
young is old and the mighty bold forgiven for there being is filled without questioning
only having is the treat the desire makes going stay near
whisper the words i never heard before the horns of meaning play
for i fear the sounds will never end this emptiness i hear
and in the sound completely missing there is a melody i play without a sound or thought or feeling everywhere i hear
a manbeast pride of solitude leaving without a care for meal or friend or living
all known is come and all meant undone where rivers of the sky full of stars unbidden fly
and i alone in every place i have ever found myself erupt
in flames of purpose given and reunited with living in mansions filled and freedom taken
let understanding wither as poppies flame and further kneeling surrender
surrender
ungiven
unknowing
repeating ever more
in love and loving thee always and eternally devoted to thee and thine pure being

india

is there an energy that comes when the indecision ends, when the motivation takes over and its just things to get done. I think so. i feel it in me already. once you move in the direction you decide to then the flow starts, it never waits once the channel is opened. Perhaps that is where this hiatus has come from, as even i knew i needed to take the next steps. the lightfooted dance of the undetermined does nothing to proceed, its when the foot falls straight and onward that there is a crash of energies that wait for nothing and start to align the life that everyone will see. the choice is the new creation, the new dimension, the twisting of parallel lines into an unmanageable new shape that has no beginning or end only some unspeakable beauty of the soul in bliss. I have a wonder of what will be as i only see the barest outline now. a new paradigm, structure of light and magic unbound by mans baser forms. and at the beginning, i see the shores of india, as everyone has predicted, and after that the air is empty of signs for this incarnation as the next is already in the cocoon. the heart leaps and sinks alternately with joy and fear happiness and horror for what is to come and which can no longer be denied. I will leave everyone behind and spend my days in the toil of my souls fruition and no longer the dollar and the sense of life. if there is no net then the ground will catch me and have the soul i can no longer use, but if there is no end to the expansion then the universe is mine and more.

letter to myself

you use the word telepathic and truly that is my experience too. Not that i know what people are thinking but that i have a closeness to them once established. with you i feel we did establish that during the years of playing music. nothing is more telepathic and empathic than sharing minds and emotions. My state right now is in some turmoil. My brother, my spiritual teacher, has told me i must leave my family and go to india. This of course has many consequences in the material world. loss of job, benefits, probably the house. and the effect on my wife and daughter is also hard, they would be left to fend for themselves and i have done little to prepare them for that. On one hand i have the usual feeling of the joy to leave all these things and relationships behind and strike out on a new road, down further now my spiritual path, on the other i have all the dread of casting away my ordained duties and forfeiting my responsibilities to home and kin. what must this world be that is all misery and pain where men would lift themselves to strike what is love in their hearts and freedom for their spirits. i found a wonderful method for relieving the suffering in others, ho' oponopono, now i must find if it relieves the suffering in me. taken as a step in my spiritual evolution and as even the likely progress without that as motivation, the truth is clear, my life is about more than any things or relationships here on this planet. soon i will be stepping forth as alone as a human can be into the world of the afterlife, the sleepless dreamstate of death, where will any of this be for me then. so if then , why not now, as i have only myself as spirit in a body to gain. I wonder why i would tell this all to you, but perhaps because i know you have similar experiences in your life and i am seeing the matching pictures. I reach out to you not from the past but from the moment and where we touch is always now.
love peace and happiness arent so bad after all,