purging freedom

the tempest stills yet i cannot. the light is ever present and never wavers from my sight.what is this life, this seeing beyond the vale of suffering, the long sought refuge of the soul. is this nirvana or nervous exhaustion that repeats each note of my hearts refrain? i touch the sun and it does not burn but cleanses every particle of flesh.the pain is in my mind demanding attention and pleading for some quarter of restraint, but the purging of the soul is unstoppable and the emptiness of the heart is unmovable. and there in the valley between i am torn to the four winds alive and a lie to living, a momentary realization of the divine, tossed without a care once love is done.expectations tumble into the crevasse of time and hopes pile up like tumbleweeds for every second is unbearable and the memories sing unending in the dustbowl of desire. perfection has no price and deaf ears lend their sympathy and laughter ever after the music ends. imploring and consoling, the dry wind has no friends, bringing the dead to every tree and village, come to witness and pronounce judgement on the living one more time and forevermore. where now the beasts of burden unyoked? freedom not yet won, unrealized, the sun still sets and moon evaporates with the darkness bleeding and the heavens torn. stand up, never rest for the reality is not over, the prize is still hidden and the lust of the demons is unquenched. hell is this world not the next and there is no place where man is free. woman chained to blasted rock and children held with bony hands, the last of them more welcome than the first.

whispering dream

last night the pumpkin orange flame of my tiny square candle pulsed with an odorful life. The heart in my chest beats a tiny riff into the mattress and i could not see the darkness in my dreams, only the knowledge of my inner eyes shone brightly. what is this sleep without sleeping, night without darkness, time without end, i rest and feel nothing stops, everything is here just unencumbereed by my senses now free to create where the senses would overrule.my meditation was the inside of the nuclear power plant in japan, the solid rods of plutonium,a brilliant thick cold heat engulfing me, unstoppable coughing as the force of a trillion suns pushed down through the isthmus of my throat, swallowing the intensity of existence, transforming near solid light into pure energy. My being dissolves and the world is gone, i see a powerful cube of blue gelatin throbbing with life and power, every cell of existence driven by its force, i am the second wave the descendant of its meaning, a creature borne off and huddled in the shadow, not to hide but to protect the silence from the rhaspsody of its desire.the slumber of my heart is filled with longing and time is created to make it endless.i feel every moment like a knife cutting slivers from my heart. when is the truth to be free, the light to rise, release the sense of being to become once more. my self is dreamlike and whispering the prayers of the deceased anointing the flesh and preparing the passage of the fading creation to unmanifest being.hold back the light and the night, bring undying laughter to the dead, where souls collide in graveyard ceremonies, here come the faithful and the forgotten, never done, never gone, always with us.trembling like a broken heart, my freezing limbs collapse and the truth is clear, what i came for is not what i am finding, the light is not the dew of dawns breath and the dark is never empty, all is forsaken their meaning and one is the end of all things.

becoming that

i am becoming that, the unknowable, the immaterial, unmanifested nature of being. where we all connect. in the process my life is being shredded and burned. Its all beyond recognition. from last year to this i dont know who that person was, or who is taking his place. when i wake in my meditation rooom, the energy so strong i feel the pulse of the universe in every atom of my being, expanding every bit of awareness into unbelievable sensations of bliss.LOVE HERE NOW, every instant filled with the sensation of creation, the elixir of being distilled from the moments of love expanded to the timelessness of awareness, brought into the physical from the love of the divine. this is the magic we experience that has no name. can there be reality that is not this? the truth is here in this moment complete and unchanging forever accessible and open, hidden by our thoughts and distractions. this is it. i feel the collapse and the explosion of the shell of thought and circumstancve that we calll the self.the one that has a place and a moment of existence and is lost immediately when truth intersects awareness. i awaken and the world is gone. the ocean of love revolves in the field of awareness swirling the divine melting. one light shines and all is that brilliance shining from every pore of my being wrapped in the knowledge of the unspeakable.i am living and beyond life,beyond the worry of death or its patient resurrections. flight sings and the eternities whisper by untouched. slipping within an emptiness filled beyond understanding,i cascade through the music of the dancing universes,what can be, is and all else becomes realized through loves surrender.