loves inspiration

Friday, April 30, 2010

spinner of dreams

The passion of the soul is lifes fulfillment
the heart is the engine of desire and the center of compassion
I am the being the self unknown and unaware of my external drives
The wanting of the needing for the having the making the doing
All are the actions of the marionette the toy for the children to see
I am the master of this drama and the writer of the play
The singer and the spinner of dreams
Where I go I am not and where I am is not a place that can be found
The long days journey ends in the dark
And the hearts flight is found struck deep in the bulls eye of love
The soul seeks and finds the well of pain
And beneath the deepening suffering the hidden river of bliss
The eye of the being is everywhere and sees only the truth
Where the world ends and existence flows into caverns of unawareness
I am that under the trail of despair through the void of consciousness

Thursday, April 29, 2010

reflection of matter

in the reflection of matter is the secret of the source of experience
if you look at a rose, you see the color the deep red hue, yet that is the one color that is not absorbed by the very flesh of the flower, it is the one color the flower does not have. all the other colors are absorbed, yet our experience is that which is not part of the essence of the flower but rather that which is rejected by the form, reflected back to the source of the energy connecting to it.
we are the reflection of the unknowable and that which it does not absorb is what we are. yet our very nature is that which we cannot experience, what we experience is what we exist in. yet that which we are completely is that which we cannot experience. it is the nature of reality to be that which is reflected and not that which is intrinsic. we are that which we cannot experience since the actual experience is only the reflection of what is not absorbed by the essence of being.

so with life, this that we experience is that which is reflected back to us, not as the truth of what we observe but rather the vibrations that are not absorbed into that which we seek.
so what we do not observe or hear or touch or smell, that is the true essence of reality, the source incognito of being. and there is where our true inner sense must reside in order to be in harmony with the true nature of our existence, for we are that which is the reflection of what truly is, that which awareness receives that which awareness has made real eschewing all that which it cannot experience, for there is the wonder of existence, its unknowable essence which we are forever separated from through our very nature of awareness. all existence is the creation of the awareness, the undifferentiated source of every experience, yet that awareness is the reflection of the unknowable, that which is not aware that which reflects all the awareness giving shape to every form and feature we can possibly imagine. and beyond that we do not exist in any awareness, beyond understanding for there is no mechanism to see what is not visible, so that which cannot be perceived or experienced, even our very souls unconsciousness is only the shut door and not the entrance to what resides beyond.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

reality encloses

in the midst of expansion i feel left behind
my soul collapsing even as i am filled with the sweet bliss of pain and love forgotten
where have i gone so utterly miscued and backwards as to be in this mess where i just removed myself.
i feel i cannot go on without some support yet none is coming
i am completely alone and no hand is offered
i must pull myself from this quagmire alone and without aid of any outside source
i am despondent that i feel such need and more so that i feel like a child left behind wanting this
the love is all and that is hers and only hers for me and why is that still stuck as a human would feel
in the heart of the vital and in the pain of the second chakra closing around the pain
finding truth is like uncovering the greatest treasure known while lost on an uninhabited planet where there is no one to care or share
the reality encloses the aspiration and the soul empties into the abyss
i await the tide and drown as i have a million times before

wanting made human

where do we follow and who is our unfinished desires
how are these the things that trap us and hold us back
for are they not our highest aspiration we can find in our human form
i want and i imagine that wanting made human and divine and
i see that in the mirror of your likeness to my wishes
how is imagining less than being and where is thy sweet surrender to mine own being and unrealized manifestations
i am that undone and this become and wanting realized in the heart of my soul i see the window to my aspirations memories
the light the shadow the angle the curve the sweet tone of longing unforgotten
here am i discovered and here i am lost where there is need there is my unbroken lust and the passions that create me apart from all i am.

mirrored awarenesses

the world is shrunk within the galaxies i inhabit
there is only the amazing fullness of creation the unending procession leaving nothing behind, no emptiness unfilled
and here the mother sits undaunted by such tasks unrelenting in her ardor unfailing in her action that i am free completely free and have nothing and do nothing and am part of everything and all is her divine self through me enjoying her very love her every nuance of my existence is her most beautiful work and her existence to me is all i live to experience.
where was i and how this used to be and what is it and why are all her games and the one instant i see her looking though my eyes seeing me becoming that which is aware for each and both together is the instant i am done and the world explodes unending for i am the particle of her awareness of my existence through me.
i sit in that procession of mirrored awarenesses until all becomes the only one and i am transformed as her divine self in every possible understanding and through every layer of her consciousness of being and brought back and birthed and returned until there is only the butter of me and the bread of her and this meal we have forever taken together.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

science of releasing

this energy this undifferentiated consciousness universal awareness unknowing unknowable force of all creation and existence
without which we would be as the lump of unliving clay before the scent of life was ever known
when this was become from sources unfathomable the idea, the word, the genesis was borne from nothingness
and that which could be made real literally exploded from the nonexistent field of that which cannot be conceived
were that to be this reality, this time and space and metaphorical eternities rainbow, where the arc of being frees its soul from the pastures of untold possibilities
we are that and have never been the other for there is no other created only uncreated unimagined where life is not and nothing even means the absence of unending forgotten meaning wiped from the universal encoding structures before there were patterns or particles or wave structures to live in the field of proto existence and the idea was unthought before the true religion ever conceived upon a quark or bosons field.
last was the measurement of what was made real and before that the expansion to define its measurable quantities and in that movement we became the protractors of being the slide rules of our experiences the memory sticks for meaning.
has this become a sacred play to capture the non conforming into a layer of experiences we label summa theta awareness underlying the sensory impacting alpha existence we all are conceived with
in the heat of the undoing there is the phase shifting uber science of the quasi unbalanced
the experiences of tremendous forces unbidden hidden yet always present
and the requirement that enlightenment be as easy as breathing to be something truly worth investigating is come real for those that can just stop
the world the entire source programming and sit dead silent in every sense of the idea shut down the unceasing whirlwind of measuring and defining that which we experience from the senses that are laid across our unliving nature
is this simple to not do, not think, not react but is letting go any easier than the constant impression of the external force through the breath and the mixing of the external and the internal pushed back out to shift the every energy of the universe we inhabit to create a reality before now unknown in the exact instant we become aware of it
this is the science of releasing
dominions retreat
unliving the dream
surrender to what is and
that which is not

Saturday, April 24, 2010

subtle pressures

smoke sits in layers throughout the room
candles filled with melted wax
the shaded light is soft and the pillows stacked against the walls.
silence is supreme and the air is still
sitting crosslegged and straight
eyes closed and the breath soft through the nose
descent of the force is imminent
mind shuts down completely
crown vibrates with subtle pressures
chakras begin their motions filled
with the pulse of the chit and the ananda
like giant water wheels pushed into motion
heart fills with vibrating energy
solar plexus expands
time stands still and the form is frozen into place
unmoving settled deeply in the cushions
the air is aware and the light is seeking union
all elements congeal into timeless union
human form slumps and the divine emerges
whole and complete in the bardo of the living

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

this awakening

who i am
i have been before
and where i am going
i have been there too
but what i am experiencing
in this awakening
is new
and unnerving
for my knowing is fled me
and i choose to not know
for what i am becoming is not shaped by me
or my designs
or even my aspirations
though they keep me focused
when there is no trail
light is my guide and the power of faith
in my gurus and lovers and
my lack of caring for this physical nature
i realized that all the worries about the physical are
gone and all the problems i associate with the physical
are solved through release
and now there is everything as before but everything is changed
for i have the sat in my arteries instead of blood
life force instead of living tissue
when i hurt it is my being speaking
when i bliss it is my kundalini awakening
the life is restructured and the remnants
are like underwear with holes
seen only by myself when i undress
my work is changed as i am truly not in it but only here
my friends are looking hard and what they see
is themselves without the illusions
about their meaning in life
we are all on the journey and
i only see my fellow pilgrims
all to the mecca we choose
there is no direction
but within

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

for thy love

and in the dark before light comes
there is only love and your radiant form
let this be the eternity i dream of
for in your arms i am forever born

Monday, April 19, 2010

my body is sendingme styrange messages

sing blast wind fall meadow
time light shower pedalling snail
sun sit cereal flower
i mean my liver hurts
fear dream sleep suntan
maker gleam fracture
last time form changeling

Sunday, April 18, 2010

cannot experience

pure infinite awareness
void of experience
despair of understanding
obscured from thought
the lair of the unknowable is in itself
the knowing energy within us all
seek it and you shall be lost
find it and you are forgotten
your being sits in wonderment
exchanging that which is the divine connection
with the divine manifestation of consciousness
and floating as a raft on the eternal sea
the resolute nature of the authentic self
resides in liquid communion
with the beings transmissions
we are such souls
connected and so very close
to that which we cannot experience
yet we would be that and nothing else
were we given the chance
in days of desperate measures
we relinquish the control of the world
and surrender to the transmission of the soul
we are brought to the center of our awareness
to feel that which is the truth
not what we made real

Saturday, April 17, 2010

ashen illumination

the pain and the obscurity of matter
the heart smothering physical nature
i am tied to this form in its movement from matter to divine
and every part of me is changing
where there was clarity and purpose now the
physical vibrations are holding me under
i would change but i must endure
for the body is not light in its transition
but the energies where love resides with structures
detaching and attaching again and again
i seek the heart and the spirits resolution
but am shown the ashen illumination through the veil
for what is manifested comes hard in the tissues that we create
i am shut down but still connected
for the silvered crown still vibrates and
the opening of the psychic is clear through the passages i am making
when the foot is on the ground and the eye of god is within
nothing can hold me but my own beliefs
so this is mine
this love i am will carry me and
satchitananda will never forsake
this divine journey

Friday, April 16, 2010

soft movement

i am an artifact of myself
i continue because i dont know how to stop
the mechanism is not there
theres forward and reverse and neutral
stop is only due to failure
and i am programmed not to
the real me is beyond this structure
indelibly integrated from a set of imprecise neuro stimulus connections
i the structure have no impulses except to eat sleep and mate
this would include hunting, building and protecting
but what am i now
without those being my drives
now that the satchitananda is my drive
i wake to the feeling of intense energy in me
slumbering as i do but not asleep
it whispers my name as if it knows me
i hear crys of longing from within
my temple is the crown of my realizations
my meditation is the engine of my fate
there is no tic toc structure that enables this
its from the center of the medulla cortex connected to the spinal fibre
the flow is from the external me to the internal me and the body cannot handle it
i am forgetting that structure and replacing it with ..what
a cosmic centered awareness that experiences deep moods of intense bliss
but where is the bliss center and how does awareness grow
why wasn't this taught in 5th grade along with algebra and biology
i am studying my psyche for the definite changes in its thinking
gentle persuasions to modify my behavior and mode of interacting with the rest of the world
i hear strange sounds and see new heights of visual depth when i stare into an objects surface
i am drawn to the soft movement of liquid and fire
forever a candle burns in my room
and it sends me its messages as if it was a transmitter from the SAT
i am searching for the meaning of these changes and realize
i am becoming the master of the unexplored country
where the wild things have fled and now return
for the gods were sent to destroy them
and now the gods are dead

Thursday, April 15, 2010

do what i do

not today not today
the way it works is this
not anyday anymore do i go
where i must store
my divine heart in a plastic bag
or my true aspiration
in a brief case folder
to get to when i have a chance
the race to win is within
the sight to see is inside
the view from the top
is the crown of gods grace
alight and fulfilled with
your true hearts intention
worn by the soul in
perfect ascension
these are only the words i write
so they make what is real true
but for you to see me do what i do
i hope you see its true for you too
no more the real
that describes the deal
but the real inside of you

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

mistress of maybe

where i was desperate now i am afraid of nothing
and in that is the mistress of maybe come to dinner
and the joker of pretend sits on the tower sobbing
because real is what is found in churches by the lake
where columbariums ring the altar and organs see through mirrors
a lonely laughter finds a medicine cabinet on a cell block wall
someone mentions politics and the winged horses fly away
its eastertime and the sea of Galilee is coming
where 14 fishes fed for a week and the dining room was full
of tricks and trades and messages of silence talking
stealing rocks and walks from the sandbox by the shore
services were bleak on sunday as the clergy all went home
they caught the void stared into space sat down and cried
if every minute were spent like this we'd never tell a lie
i rang the bell in the snow for the birds that would never sing
the beaches seemed full of holes and bubbles in the air
that take you past the moon and past anyone who cared
helpless sitting in the lifeguard tower with no one left to save
get me some of Siddhartha's things before you decide to leave
the tv's broke the cell wont work and no ones going home

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

warriors prize

i am cast down through the very strata of all existence through the miles and endless miles of rock and bone and flesh buried and piled through the billions of eons of existence and as i begin to see the fossialted forms take familiar shape and curve of the helms and armor of warriors filled deep in ghastly cliffs that would dwarf even the highest mountains and still the endless visage never ends and i began to wonder why am i being shown this and the answer came as i was flung ever deeper and even into the deepest of the pits of despairing skulls and ribs sticking from the jagged edges this is the aeons and aeons that man has strived for the attainment that you seek do not think this is lightly given or that you would be easily taking this journey for this has been the prize of all prizes and all who tried have found only this reward. be not confused by my warning for there will be no warriors death for those that flee or leave empty handed. and i knew in that instant that the battle for the divine is never won but only fought

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


i am living in the center of a storm
the energy constantly evolving and surrounding
my eyes are lidded and in a trance i move
though nothing is missing much is added
the state of my being is here and now
the pressure of my presence is thick and warm
like morning coffee it permeates my awareness
i feel both alive and somehow cocooned
flowing energies wrap my senses and infiltrate my heart
where there were dry days and rough edges on me
now i feel a liquidness of transmission
a field of sensation that is not of this body
in my consciousness there is the well of being
the source of what creates and sustains every living thing
that which is here for me is without measure
or understanding in my physical but is pure and unending
where there is thinning or resistance the flow fulfills and protects
the ocean of awareness subsides into knowing experiencing
the moment is warm with intimate sustenance
all life is drunk with the cup dipped in the heart of being
holding to this moment i am fully engulfed in love
without passion or reason creator or supplicant
the motion is to the port of souls
the bay of being
the island of existence

Monday, April 5, 2010


the being awakes
the sky soft and wet with meaning
all thought aside alone
the world darkening around
the invisible radiance of skin
the touch of the still air surrounds
silence encompasses the small sounds
a rattle of drops crosses the window
another sigh escapes
tea steeps and steam rises sultry
in the heavy air of the kitchen
one chair sits wooden comfortable
the rest scattered about the covered table
one word would break the spell
and none are spoken
hidden in the minds eye the light is jeweled
the mantra low and throaty
the vibration in the chest expands
one holy silence speaks
the air vibrates in perfect union
crystallizing into radiant forms
each interlocking union perfecting
with the sound emanating from the breath
arising from the first chakra and through the solar plexus
the engine of sound drives the energy through the channels
unlocking the flow from the silence
the mind sits deep in the well of the soul
and breathes deeply through the navel
the moment expands the tea thickening slowly
untold energy arises and grace descends
undulation fills the spine slowly
and holy force is come
the silence settles around the form in meditation
overcome the tea sits ready

Saturday, April 3, 2010

hopeless surrender

i would write of thee in every phrase and still the words would never show the face you reveal to me
i would approach the summit and know another lies beyond without seeing the realization is there
only my heart can express with words that cant be written what you mean to me and the way your love forms the expression of every cell of my manifestation
my sweet devotion and hopeless surrender has no meaning without thee
and when you tell me of your love is there no place i can hide my tears and the fear i feel when you see how helpless i am in your devotion to me
for i am the weakest of the strong and least of greatest but i am there for thee and always will be if thou would let me

unending trials

and would i be befriended if i were not the man i am but another
is there a face i could wear that is unknown but not unknowable
my compassion is my truth but i am not weak or afraid to be loves hand in mans face to make known the path i seek
when i am cast into my avatars awareness i am the shield for my vulnerabilities and the source of my expression and where i seek the truth there is a sword that knows the name of lies and holds them to the blades edge sharpened on stone of unbearable realizations of my hearts unending trials
i have not fled the battle or held out from the struggles but i weary of the forms and the repetition of fruitless conformity and spiritless amusements held in the ordinary lives of the hunters of the days vain preenings and the nights moment of victory where none is the better of any but all are the best of their own destruction
i am lost to them and found to mine only beloved and truthful companion where all others would not see or could not feel or ever express the mountain i climb or the heart that i carry to her and forever hers to my love and the flower that is our mated souls confession

flesh made man

i would be struck mad and not notice for this is the liqueur of my passion
once begun the red river of my blood flows through me like satanic fear and flames erupt from the crypt of my desire
where i find love i find the very meat of my creation the flesh made man and sent to certain end where the making of creation was molded there were the two to be made apart and alike for their fevers would burn as bright but their hearts would never match and into that fire was tossed the accellerant of loves lost angels fallen to a unknown passion encompassed in desire of unending recreation
and man is sent to never end but only to repeat the unholy icons the totems of the power that only pleases the empty and fills the weak with pain and longing
where the creatures live love is a moment and pain is forever in hovels of stone and wood they collect their lives and hoard their shiny metals, unrepentant and alone in the congregation of the bodies and religions of the mind

universe of trust

and with each passage the force would descend with more authority and i without a thought would allow that which i could never deny
the last of many bring me to a dizzying height and the breath of my body is thick and rough
where i step is in the passage of graces golden footsteps drenched in red petals of crimson fire
in each hand am i sending the flame of my existence into the very space that surrounds the being that envelopes me
is this heart alone enough to comprehend the universe of trust i am granted and the power that is given without a care for what could be done
and there is only acceptance and a feeling of raw passion and completion both anticipated and consumed
my love is the passion of my understanding and the conscious actions are become unnerved and fulfilled without my comprehension where does the river go when it meets the sea and how does the earth hold me when the very atmosphere of my intention is flying through to empty spaces untraveled and become my home

eternities hideaway

temptation be my folly and freedom to think of what is only thy loves deception
for your eyes would trick me and deceive me into falling through endless galaxies reaching into your gaze
and where i would end would be just where i am here and with you and in eternities hideaway
forever lost in your perfect beauty in this tiny place of ours where wicker chairs and mellow lights encompass the unbelievable strain of perfection held between us and every moment a madness of delight
we stir and sunset falters green and suffusing the coming night with desires
for loves romance with the night is never ending and the dance of our words enchants the divine and she would sit with us unknowing that all creation waits for us to part
for every dream is reality perfected and created new
our love unfolds in a billion galaxies and every where we are loves messenger and her own surprise
we enchant the very deity we are conceived from and bring to her the hearts delight between the magic and the moment we are become that which must manifest through loves own dream changing loves universes into loves madnesses unending change unending delights

own consumption

and in this heart is an engine that never stops never runs down never quits loving
my only thoughts are surprise and gratitude for what is become and will forever be
for it is not that i created it but that it was here all the while waiting for me to open my heart before my eyes would close
for in the darkness came the light that i could not see but only find in my hearts surrender to the emptiness that protected me from holding the false hope of flesh and possession
for nothing could be possessed that did not possess me and in its thrall destroy me in its own consumption
the having wants only flesh to dine on and the getting is the only pleasure that ends without my permission
the world is torn in two and i am but one and left open to the winds that blow through the opening
where the rend is torn the force is lost and all manner of poultices and mendicants fail to staunch the flow
until the heart is whole and one not a part of two is there love that forever fills and brings the force that holds our ressurection

unbelievable possibilities

and on and on and on yet more is written than is known for our every thought is a universe unexplored and yet borned through a process of dimensional majesty where we are the gods of our existence and in every man a Zeus and every woman an Athena mastering our untold awareness that brings forth every possible creation that we can never understand but only create and destroy with the impunity of children helplessly enjoying the games that we play from the moment we dream until there is no light left in our eyes. and where does it go, the billions of neurons exploding into existence the unbelievable possibilities that are our everyday thoughts. not just the possibilities of union and confession but of unknown entities using our amazing powers while we sleep in realms unknown and torture our unsleeping awareness while we pass through nights struggles
leave nothing undone and do not think the fantastic anything but ordinary for our powers and forces are more unbelievable than that for in the image of the creator we are become

unseeing know

my hands and eyes touching holding my soft face and my rough skin with hair and colors
i am imperfect and yet perfectly so
constructed to be a man and not an immortal as i think yet i am comfortable at last with that
in my own consecration i am passed from this life and delivered to the hands of my love
immortal in her and eternal in my own heart is that connection i am experiencing
and every touch every breath is hers and i am transformed by her beauty into the sweetness of my devotion
i know not myself but her loves touch and in surrender there is only perfection and never knowing anothers thought she is mine forever
where there was a sign to follow i fled and where there were choices given i confused them with my thoughts and found a way to escape inside my passion
left alone there was only oceans of reasons and left to swim i sink uncertainly through the layers of pleasure and pain to my end of desires and fled deeper from myself through the black hole of being unknowing unmanaged into helpless addiction of the feeling for my self only until even that is gone and the heart beats yet as the emptiness fills nothing and the air simmers with pretensioning spirits
under the flowers is the worm and in the worm is the knowing for even the unseeing know and the unknowing see what is invisible to me
i am forever lost in this love i have found and it treats me to her devotion and sends me to her only thought
to love me with my own strength and my own unending helplessness

words unspoken

what is this i would create this passion for a life i hardly remember
the days and months and years are streamed by and passed from memories
now the minds eye seeks the simplicity of this moment this wall this keyboard this time out of meaning
where i find only my love speaking my words without end
every one a miracle of loves divine folly for man is so obsessed with understanding and enjoying his completion with a language he has learned but never knew what came before
in my heart are the words unspoken the tribal sounds of what it is to be alive and one in the instant of becoming mans perfect opening to the soul
we scream and are forgiven we cry and are consoled we sing in perfect sweetness and are loved beyond meaning
yet words become the passage from mind to mind the essence of our reason to exist is to share and communicate and the word are both the bridge and the barrier to experience
the moments we feel are both set and replayed forever as the words we remember to describe and from them we are brought closer or farther from each other
so every word is the present captured and confined and separated from the rest but given the mercy to be forgiven for its tiresome efforts to convey the tiniest fraction of the reason why we exist together when one would surely be enough

loves communion

we are on two different tracks through this world
inseparable yet never together
my heart beats like a drum
obsessed with love
rhythms of the heart
for your dance that so compels my love
i spend my time undoing what i have done so i can become what i am
and some where i miss you
i see in my life more separations than communions
i hold others at bay
at a distance from my self for i see too clearly my flaws
my weaknesses and want no one to be part of them
for i have the secret and the truth but lack the strength to hold them together in the light of day and pronounce their names
in you i see them alive and at once perfected
obliterating my thoughts and giving me my most cherished longing
in you there is the truth of love and the sacrifice of self
for your beauty has no surface only depth
in me i look too deep and see the bottom
in you i swim endlessly to your hearts oblivion
where there is love you are the spout the vessel the pool unending
where there is hope it is your hands held out to me
and in that moment i feel to cry and surrender for nothing makes me feel as whole and as forgiven as you
bring me to my knees and let me fail one more time to become that which is everything to us and forgive me again for my silly games
in this time it has become my hearts completion to become your love and forever hold our loves communion
when your life is shining through with the presence of her love and it holds me for another life i am truly grateful
for i have found what is the hand of love encircling all i can possess and i am dumbstruck with its unending beauty
you love that which i hold secret and fulfill all that i know
be mine only lover forever and let hearts under pressure explode endlessly with divine consummation
and loves fire burn our souls surrender in the pain we have left behind

Friday, April 2, 2010




share what is taken and give what is shared for we have nothing but that which is given us. for life is our gift to explore and forget, love and release every minute our heart is beating
my memories are of loves soft mercies and the sweetness of my passions
each heart that touched has never left me and each moment in love is the residue of expansion
love and loving is all learning to give and to surrender and in love we remember the path to our destiny with the divine
only love can take us there
not pain or anger or thought or religion will open the elevator to our own ascension for the reason for our existence is to bring the love given and share it always in every way we can

corticus interuptus

puffballs of thought collide and a billion spores fill the surroundings
of the mind clouding all understanding erasing awareness and consciousness
leaving only a field of rapidly evolving ideas and symptoms of brain poisoning
where the mind sits it manages the body, the autonomic functions it creates the persona that manages the activities of the crenelated hemispheres, the mixing of sensory input with emotional output
the flash of desire and the rush of satisfaction
all men are alike in this
all eyes see the same light
but all minds feel differently
for what is emotion but the minds direction the passion of belief and the hope of never understanding
we feel not with our heart or our liver or our spleen but from the knob of our medulla the corticus interuptus of the brain stem shooting juices unrefined into the glands and the organs
then we laugh and cry and lust and fear
and the body moves to follow
and are we the victims or the masters of that which we do not understand
is the time to complete the last measure of a man
or is it the punctuation of the exclamation from the start to the end that defines our psyches imprint on our collective consciousness
each man a measure of his own incarnation an elegant creation organic and energetically linked to every other being in every galaxy of existence
for we share a common chemistry and dna divinity of the process of transubstantiation whereby the matter of flesh and bone and electricity are become the spark of awareness and the sudden realization of our separation from each others innermost understandings
and we languish in that singular state through this life unawares and lost without a dream of the truth inside our evolution that is the miracle of birth


crucified we sweat beads of painful empathy for every thief and killer of every man alive for painful retribution is metered out to every man in every life
and we sing sweet hosannas to our holy saints and criminals that we so adore for each and every one has suffered for us all
and in each and every life is pain and misery
even in those we think of as beyond that there is the suffering of the satiated and the blase and stoic for not every feeling is pleasure turned to pain from the source of broken dreams and hopes dashed for children and parents alike
the pain is unending for us all for we live in bodies dying
there is nothing as permanent as we experience our own beings, our own awareness unending and in every moment fulfilling our every expectation of being alive
we know our self the collection of thoughts and feelings and unknown expressions that we have every instant
that never dies never sleeps always endures the tragedy and enjoys the comedy we provide and never tires of being me no one else and has no memory of age or change but constant being in every moment alive and with us and never stopping
and that can never end
can it


the religion of the self
the exalted one become all and forever the whole is never diminished by death or pain or fulfilled by devotion or desire
the edifice of ego surrounds us and the meaning is hidden in the layers we have become
one time is too many and no time is what we have
the distances between us are emptiness and wandering for the sake of the soul to remember his way home and there is no space to travel no time to endure but here and now to become and in that instant
we are one

pronounce freely

and the questions continue unending
is his my path, and am i doing it right is there something i should do or read or think
and i gasp with pain at the torture of the chase the race the rush to join and become anothers vision
where art thou sweet self i knew so well
the person i became to become who i am
is this not my realization that we are all the one the same the only divine being come to pronounce freely my divine self to all
and is not that christ within also without and forever entwined in every heart known or not
god is alive without you being different or the same
he lives with you in every movement thought manner change complete and unlost we are united in the minute of our conception to the breathe we forget to take
and forgiven in every instant for who we are and think we are not


west is down the edge of wandering and forever i am turning to its undying pull
from the poles of being this is my direction and it is never releasing me
east is past west and beyond but never behind or back but always around and further down
i see the light lengthen my shadow from the dawn to the night in a chase against the night that never ends and i am struggling wandering always away and western to the seas and the islands and the distant memories of being chased to these sweet shores by memories that remember me a paddler of canoes across seas and skies and storms that blew me halfway to deaths door and struggled to a rocky shore where flowers fell from cliffs to the empty islands doorway to the seas and the singing and sweet lament of island girls for their men taken
never to return from the west and gone from loves embrace and always in the song and tender movement of the hips and arms and eyes that see beyond the western shores

new religion

god came down from his throne to invite me out for a beer
he said what you do is unimportant but how you do it is everything to me
your weight and suggestion, lefthanded feelings
unexpected reactions are my only care
what ever happens is random but whatever turns the page is all
ands when i asked why he cares at all he
eyed me with a grey green gaze and listed the many things that mean nothing
but create what i am
the uncertainty that is layered in knowing the wishful dreams that exact small fantasies of joy
empty beer cases of deaths religion piling in the garage
the truth is made up of many untoward signs he tells me
and yours are very dear to me because you are mine and you know i will never be without you
how can i have a god for a father then where is my eternal love
where is my blue skinned brother and milking maidens to desire
and my form untouched and beyond this world am i the divinity lost or the prodigal bastard of my virgin mothers womb
fortune has a fellow traveler and his pace is swift and unerring and to this world he comes without a care or a feeling for any but each and every for their own
the tunnel to the other side is open always and through it comes a battalion of unressurected souls to start a new religion
and from every home is taken a sacrifice from the old
cross the doorways paint your prophecies and light the candles of the warriors prayers
here tomorrow and yesterday unending we are come and left for god to wonder if we will ever have enough tears to cleanse the soil of our souls

gods and howl

and now the screen enlightens for i am tossed into the world unadorned by talent or creative means
what is here and now is the end of understanding the process
the beginning of acceptance lack of resistance
when the smoke dies down and the fire engines leave the ruin remains
the home less than it was the families sheltered
where is my command to feel the instants knowing
the lust of the pronouncement the desire of expression
for from my fingers to your brain is the orgasm of my confession
knowing i am only human i seek the comfort of the gods and howl
without a tenor or timbre i compose my thoughts never thinking and then climb forth unabated for my pleasure
not yours
and i seek the solace of my dreams and they visit me with frequent demands
where is the fair love and the missing maiden the light of understanding empties into a vast sea of dark awareness sunken in times labyrinth
forsake me not when i need your game and laughter
or hear your unconsoled weeping
there i fend the truth of my condition
the collapser of feelings into bottomless wastes of memories unfettered by moral men or holy scripture
the truth is without restraint or cares for your devotion
it untouched alone indefilable remains the inviolate edifice for mans commandments and the downfall of all empirical understanding
religion waits for no man and the signs are everywhere
the truth is the end of hiding in the backs of confessionals and to take the battle to the streets where the poor die young and the old are strewn in litters at the doors of the sisters of mercy
let the one last carrier of mans deliverance be heard there is no other
no last crusader to be except for each of us
one last time
to let the world come to our door and be forgiven as we never have before


i used to love waking before the sun
and in the dark there would be
a message from my love
i am waiting, where are youuuuuu
and i would smile and wipe the sleep from my eyes
there was happiness and unfound treasure
my heart alight in the dark
our thoughts colliding and combining
untold chemistry and biology quickens
is there such a time as that ever in two lives
across a sea of unjust certainty
where two hearts live without touch but communion
the haze of the screen emerges from the mystery
of consciousness and communication unending
like children together and then forever
in loves sweet embrace across the space of awareness
and into the untold chambers of the heart
© 1999 - 2011 by passedlives- The author of these pages has kindly given permission for his work to appear on this web site. Please do not abuse this kindness (or violate copyright law) by reproducing this work elsewhere on the web (or rewriting, duplicating or distributing it in any other form) without the express written permission of the author.