whispering dream

last night the pumpkin orange flame of my tiny square candle pulsed with an odorful life. The heart in my chest beats a tiny riff into the mattress and i could not see the darkness in my dreams, only the knowledge of my inner eyes shone brightly. what is this sleep without sleeping, night without darkness, time without end, i rest and feel nothing stops, everything is here just unencumbereed by my senses now free to create where the senses would overrule.my meditation was the inside of the nuclear power plant in japan, the solid rods of plutonium,a brilliant thick cold heat engulfing me, unstoppable coughing as the force of a trillion suns pushed down through the isthmus of my throat, swallowing the intensity of existence, transforming near solid light into pure energy. My being dissolves and the world is gone, i see a powerful cube of blue gelatin throbbing with life and power, every cell of existence driven by its force, i am the second wave the descendant of its meaning, a creature borne off and huddled in the shadow, not to hide but to protect the silence from the rhaspsody of its desire.the slumber of my heart is filled with longing and time is created to make it endless.i feel every moment like a knife cutting slivers from my heart. when is the truth to be free, the light to rise, release the sense of being to become once more. my self is dreamlike and whispering the prayers of the deceased anointing the flesh and preparing the passage of the fading creation to unmanifest being.hold back the light and the night, bring undying laughter to the dead, where souls collide in graveyard ceremonies, here come the faithful and the forgotten, never done, never gone, always with us.trembling like a broken heart, my freezing limbs collapse and the truth is clear, what i came for is not what i am finding, the light is not the dew of dawns breath and the dark is never empty, all is forsaken their meaning and one is the end of all things.