loves inspiration

Sunday, February 28, 2010

pains sweet

times crashing keeper slams into the wall of thought and suffers every eyeball to erupt in another vision of suspicion where that which is becomes that which is come to be found here. the life we understand doesnt understand us. hearts in flames devour and souls in pain decide that emptiness exists inside the walls of hapless and unhealthy. the food is full of mothers poison and the water is a blend of chemical compounds, only drugs will help when surgery fails to cure. where is the love that kills the emptiness the heart that beats with the sinus rhythm of pains sweet understanding. have we come to just be feeling alone or to truly suffer. how is life become this dance of broken promises and sure fire ways to kill a generation of the divine. the visions of the slaves and decimated aboriginals come beck in the faces of the newly blooded the unfailing non conforming, spiked and tattooed and covered in the piercings of those we left in mass graves and histories forgotten chapters.


when morning comes likes an adoring child
and the sun is but a smile away
chill air and dew combine
to bring my heart today
where night revealed long dreams
and tired eyes awoke
where did summers promise go
with warmth and birds sweet song
i settle in my robe and chair
in sisters home and feel
the world is so much closer now
and still my dreams are real
old places in young memories
homes and friends now gone
i visit while i walk these halls
of kingdoms lost and won
the road goes on until it ends
now nearer day by day
the pattern of my life it seems
has kept me safe this way
can leaving be as empty
as staying seems to be
where is my hearts devotion
where is my love for me
she left across another ocean
to be nearer and so much further
from the heart of love we keep


the whole world is crying, you never cry alone
let this the anniversary of your celestial birth be celebrated with love
take simple things and hold them close
let what seems complicated fall away by holding to the center of what is real
whenever you have an impulse to be connected reach out
do not question your faith in your true nature
the soul of your purpose on this planet and in your hearts understanding
there will grow the light and the love that will sustain you from within

Thursday, February 25, 2010


where were you
when i turned to touch
thought of a wonderful poem
smiled at your memory
in my heart


sims, simi, simran
by any name would be as sweet
for each molecule speaks love
the word made real each moment
i feel you even here in this separation
that is only illusion
i am veiled ten thousand times
and you are there for me
i love you my love
in this moment


past peacefulness
past thoughfulness
past recklessness
past hopefulness
past timeliness
past helpfulness
to the point of no return
emptiness surrounding
the air is holding
my heart


how is it possible my heart is so open
i am in love with everyone
and in perfect step with every thought
every emotion every realization
nothing is beyond me
everything is touching me
i am truly amazed and yet humbled
this soul this heart this life is worthy
every breath and heartbeat is with a purpose reborn
time truly ends and waits for me to complete what must be done
yet it is in my words that love flows pefectly to all
the timbre and tone step and rythm speak
love desire awoken meanings
destinies of unknown origins
awakened in a starry sky
i am the nights whisper to my loves surprise
let trembling thrill and dancing fly
spinning radiating life
all meaning unfolding
bold and gently fully alive
until all creation realize
love forever lives and never dies


if love be this one moment unending
the last moment i ever will feel
into times ending we're flying
from here to the end of our world
how is it that i am brought
to this plane of understanding
where is my compass and oars
i have no sail or sea worthy craft
just two arms and a heart to open all doors
i am cast upon a journey that has no map
into country without names
no guide or star my companion
just valleys and peaks evermore
what we create, creates us
what we destroy is the end of us all
touching we understand, holding hand in hand
love sends us true measure of what it is we treasure
each life each heart each hand

el nino

its beautiful
after the night rain
cold clear dawn
The cats are playing in the yard
and everyone else is asleep
this is when i feel the best
the world is my love
i was thinking about the ashram
and i remember that
your not supposed to
have a lot of contact
with people outside
so i think i understand
why it is so rare
that you can write to me
we have moved all the rooms around
we are now sleeping
in the alcove
off the living room
now i have to be very quiet
as i putter in the kitchen
having my coffee and toast
this week
the little room
above the kitchen
will get emptied out
and i will make it
my study/meditation room
i have hope
that this will be good for me
just wanted to send you
some love
from your other home
i will always be here
probably in better shape
than i've been this last month
i hope you are well
all that rain
can bring on a lot of problems
we have had 3 rainstorms
these last few weeks
two of them were pretty big
i guess theres an el nino going on
I hope there is an el nino of love
going on too
You are my precious soul
my only heart filled with love
fly on
sweet soul
to the light

east west relations

I have tried to call you 4 times
but no connection
I can feel you so close to me
I was so suprised to hear your call
you should have seen my face
jaw dropped to the floor
I didn't get your e mail
been so freaking busy
i would love to talk with you
you are my soul
my one pure meaning
hope and happiness
I can feel your attainment
your overflowing love
my heart is with you darling
there is no separation
all love
all love
all love
Call me again same time
I will try to get the ashram number
and call you
what is a good time
I have no idea of the time difference
can't imagine why i didn't get the call
i want to talk with you
i was at BJ's and got your voicemail
i love you so intensely
i am your heart of feeling love
being one in every moment forever
love love love
thank you love
the beloved one


Sweet loved one
it must be wonderful,
living the ashram life
waking to chanting and meditation,
basking in HIS love and power
sharing with like souls on the path
and knowing the grace is within you
I am so happy for you
I have found lately
that I am back working hard
and becoming happy with my work
not so longing for the other
for what you and I shared
all the time
It has allowed me some peace of mind.
I feel satisfied with my life
and family
and the direction i am taking,
keeping the peace with my heart
soul and body.
You tell me to watch out
for my health
well the most dangerous thing
is to be at war with yourself
to be filled with negativity
In that respect
I am getting much better
I could feel the effects
of my negativity on my body
and believe me I was plenty worried
about the consequences
So now its a beautiful day
and more to come
I finally have my meditation room
and later today
I am taking all the stuff you gave me
and begin decorating
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
for all your love and patience
with my needy negativity
over the last weeks
but I am finally cured
My life has always been a miracle
so I know it still is
You are my love
and I your loving correspondent.
May my words bring you happiness
and sweet thoughts
forever alive in HIM
forever in love in HIM
forever your love in me


you light up my life
whenever i dream of you
you bring happiness and hope
wherever you go
loves you and me
its easy to see
there is only one reason
for this to be
its the natural way
to be free
in love
and loving everything
makes this a wonderful world
for you and me
a wonderful life
to be living with you
a beautiful way
to be seeing you
with a light that shines
on our love


i am so stuck
in my samskaras
my rooted processes
of ancient choices
there seems to be
no way out
except as in your case
divine intervention
pressure and delusion
surround me always
my very soul seems trapped
unable to experience
the moment
my heart yearns
i see only my trodden path
worn ruts of repetition
space shrinks
to this moment
and time hurries
as if there was some meaning
to motion
i seek for nothing
and find the remains
of my lives
where am i
the single being
souless and complete
gone from my awareness
to this i awaken
and to this i sleep
praise all that finds
this perfection
and transcends
I follow you from here

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


its thursday now
and monday seems just a blur
the carnival of life revolves
and reels around me
flashing lights
and crying
maybe this is a good time
to talk about
what is really going on
there is no truth
no lie anymore
just feelings and awareness
past is gone
future unborn
present swimming
waiting without knowing.
we pass some barrier
and see it looking back
god is a road bump
a pothole we experience
banging into our reality
a body in motion
remains in motion
unless acted on
by an outside force.
i am moving waiting watching
outside forcing me away
i see the simplicity of knowing
the implicit trust
and fearless actions unifying
melting away me and you
and every face i am
then i am pulled
and grabbed
and tugged
into my body a
way from the truth
to here
fractured mirrors
scattered from the collision
as one crosses the line
its thursday
and every time
is this time
every thought
this thought
every action
this action
vibrating endlessly
without meaning
hoarse whispers
ending a night of screaming
as the full moon
looks in my eyes
wide with love


woke up and saw the rain
somehow pleasing
and comforting me
my speckled eyes
roaming the dark sky
wondering where you are.
i have gotten away from the past
and am holding tight
in the few moments before dawn
there is resolution
and forgetfullness
in every thing
my little life
touches every moment of existence
there is no separation

own heart

Mine own heart
Sleep is the waking of the spirit
naked of reasoning and reckoning
things happen as they may
with the dance of our billion celled brain
we put on our suit
of sanity and gravity
and walk
pressed to the earth
imposing our path
through the jungle of existence
I would take you
where you want to go
I think of your searing light
and quest for love
for HE that love is
I become awed that I am here
a part of that love
I am happy more
than i've been in months
there is a tiny being in me
that is reeling
from the powerful message
your heart sends
you have become one with love
with lifes meaning
the ecstatic dance
that gives form
My sight is blurred
looking at the infinite light
you radiate
So this is love
I am so glad
so happy
to be here with you


when next we meet
will the sun still shine
is there still
a special feeling
will the words
flow and rhyme
are the minutes
still like hours
does your smile
still sing my song
when next we get together
will be far
too long


I felt like a suicide
daring life
to leave me
every moment
another pain
another sorrow
for this
i waited to see
what would happen
the world spun
the moon swung
i lay immersed
in my introspection
going emptily inside
outside always I
around it all
no way out or in
just the walls
and walls
and walls
i find waiting
at the end of my days

broken down

looking at the hard lines
of my flesh
the eyesockets glaring
with accuasation
of myself
roughly sizing up my life
like cordwood
and winters past
i reel in my desperation
to hold on to something good
something graceful
and tender
and find broken down lives
pushed into corners
all joy gone
in the litter
that remains


love is
hearing your voice
full of concern
and pain
for me
i am the one
that feels it
your love
and my pain
a sweet pain
that misses you
always my journey
is a pale rider
lost in the desert
seeing mirages
and miracles
drinking sand
and wine
i am touched by you
through and through
without a care
for my despair
i would find my way
to your heart
Love will take you there
and I will follow you


radiance surrounds you
madonna mia
mi amour
shining with her light
and her soul
I see effortless love
in every line of your face
you speak to my heart
silent joy overwhelms me
with your touch
I feel alive
and unsteady
a child on wobbly legs
unsure of any meaning
holding mothers hand


as surrender encompasses
i live in the sea of the moment
light and energy combine
my senses like heated glass
a taste of mad love
and i am slipping higher
the fire erupts with eagles flying
a rush of the wind
brings the earth into focus
life supremely compelling
the unverse imploding
the sea and sky are one


it is YOU!!!
love surrenders to thee
as the ocean surrenders
to the moon
i am surfing in your tides
unafraid for once
that water will dissapear
I have made some changes
and they are working
today I will see you
and be happy
i will be always with you
as we are every day
knowing who you are
is knowing who i am
untouched and unchangeable
we make love unseen in the sea
you are the ocean
I am the motion
you are heading toward
the divine union
with me

transparent lives

writing is expression of the self
an extension of the mouth
an act of communication
a complex weave
of mental and emotional states
compressed into lines and shapes
that are deeply imprinted
into the very base of our psyches
We express an unstated bond
with our brethren
that we will be giving
and they will be taking
as the words are gifts
to everyone who sees them
but they are nothing
They can have everything
every word
every nuance
and they have only that
the shared experience
not the writer
only the words and feelings
but nothing of the truth
of what you are.
we dance
and they see and think
the dancer
but not the being
we are untouchable
for what we are
not what we give
Giving is everything
getting is difficult
to not hold
to not take
and be taken
we live transparent lives
everything is known
only we don't know it
there is no secret
or silly thing unknown
how we move our hands
or drink our wine
or touch ourselves
or sing badly
think dark thoughts
or feel unbearable despair
and madness is life fulfilled
known noted and moved on
but the being is untouched
wrappered in this frenetic living
that is unwrapping
but never the present
awaiting inside


left the house this morning
with my gym bag
and felt soft rain
in big drops
exploding on my face
What a beautiful sky
dark with light edges
left over from the night
of thunder and lightning
filling my dreams
with rain and rescues
My little car flung itself
through the wet streets
wipers bravely wiping
tires hissing
through the rain slicked roads
Bleary headlights pass
and smeary tailights wink
stop and go
Its over
the hot and wonderful summer
and this the first rain of fall
is come to give us notice
harvest what is left
get the hay baled
and the corn in
the winds
and rain
and finally frosts
will be here soon
But first
just this gentle introduction
playful and childish
a baby shower
a blessing
our worlds
spinning crooked
past the sun
and further away
Sunlight angles
and rotation wobbles
and we see miracles
here on earth


Without you within me
who am i
without me within you
where am i
without our love
why am i

with you

With you there is light
with you there is love
with you we are wind and waves and sea
with you we are two
alive and frightened
by the one we are becoming

held in

You are the light of the stars
the dark of the night
i see you and want to
be held in your sight
you write so beautifully
please drench me
with your words of love

poe me

yellow paint peeling
from my ceiling
staring from my bed
raspberry jam congealing
on stale crusts i left
in my pajama drawer
this is all and nothing more


fog and quiet birds
the children sleeping
as softly
I patter in my kitchen
and rummage
through my thoughts
here love is home
and warm together
there i am alive with a love
fresh and exciting
but love is love
and warm is home
sleep like fog
fills my thoughts
with dreams
and far away places
i wake and patter
softly to my kitchen
in another world


you linger


pale flower
gentle rain

named thing

That which we would have
is already gone
and all else is come in its stead
Named thing thou art
which lessens with each naming
Taken freedoms become
shackled weights
thy name is wanting
fullfilment further flown
you are the sky
in everyones eyes
but none can hold you
just shake their empty fists
in shamed wanting
love lets lies loose
let go
let go

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

HIS light

I read your heart mail
Presence of truth
unexplained undefined
just being
creates a tornado of reactions
by the ego
If HE held a rock
and took it everywhere
with HIM
and made all HIS decisions
based on the rock
and the rock spoke not
and chanted not
and interacted not
there would be the same reaction
you are HIS light
he shines on them
They see HIS light
and call it shadow
why is one light different
are we not all lights
All is HIS play
HE holds you
you are the mirror
they see the reflections
but not themselves
but HIS reflection
and they are afraid
and doubtful of themselves
Is not the path of the righteous
the destination of the annointed
is there no guardian
to test the unworthy
Players we seek passion
or we find security
and lose what feelings brought us here
fly soar sweet angel
my love


When first we met
and time stopped everywhere
we were together
i knew you
the prize the envy the jewel
blazing in your eyes
Simple story
complex emotions
a path begun and suddenly
destination where you fly
I remember nothing
everything of you
and each delicate moment
we were wrapped in
HE was always there in you
in me
connected through unfailing love.
Your everyday karmas flew
faster than ever
and we held tighter
until time refused to stop
I look at the clock
and it is crying
sweet one
I feel so at peace with you
even in this moment
I am loved
my heart fulfilled
my spirit soaring
to you
love speeds all hearts
to HIM
through you


if ever we seek the light
so does the darkness find us
with every avenue open before us
the doors of perception close
choices made and paths taken
trails of brilliant energy trace
our footsteps through time, space and beyond
from high we can see
the beautiful tapestry
our journeys have created
the joinings and separations
that fill our akashic record.
I sing the song of every sailor
far away at sea
some day this voyage will end
but forever i will be sailing

must confess

the calling bird
and i drifted in the sky to be
right by its side
there were miracles and symphonies
in the highest of the trees
sent me down upon my knees
every moment seemed unreal
stepped into lifes back door
looking for the other side of meaning
wait for me i called to you
but the wind just blew and
i felt the song singing dieing
calls to afghanistan
you dont understand
i cant feel your light when
i'm in the darkness
a million miles from home
sent here to find my own
cant understand the poem
just writing till the pen
starts crying
the phone screams ringing
for a reason
wait until the summer comes
and lifes begun
another round of doing things untrue
collapsing into emptiness
i did my best
i must confess
it sounds like broken promises
wait for me another day
we'll have a place to play
when everybodies dancing and the sun
is shining
I miss you and I long to be
in the airport free and
looking for a bus to your village
i only wonder now where i used to know
there is no fun in trying

i c u

light ethereal reflecting
set shining clouds at sunrise
creating mesmerizing seduction
of sight so surrendered
vision given meaning
pleases our senses
slips into our dreams
building our realities
measuring our madness
we see
we want
we see what we want
and we sleep
with eyes wide open

our house

in this house we swept the floors and dusted and cared for the animals and the plants
in this house the children laughed and ran and played until night when the dreams carried them away
in this house the sun rose to hot tea and coffee with toast and warm butter
in this house cooking and eating were both pleasures and reason for their celebration
in this house there was music and flowers and poems to love
in this house the trees listened to our prayers and the moon watched over us at night
in this house was life and gods pure delight
for this house is our home inside our hearts wherever we go


i am not myself
i dont live here
there is no way this is my life
leave your bullshit at the door
cant keep on keeping on now
left my reasons at the door
you cant understand my reasons
for just walking out the door
please dont try to tell my daughter
what it meant to be who am i am
there is no way to tell her
i am what she shouldnt be
life has made me freaking crazy
tryin to be the best i can be
tomorrow might leave me dying
and there s no way to victory
you need to know my understanding
what i am made my life to be
she cant ever know the reason
theres no happiness in me
the worlds left me empty
its a pain i cannot leave


when first i heard your words
they seemed alight
now they are fire
and i am consumed
your westering senses
encompass me
and to your heart
i am flown
angel of fire
my desire
is burned in you

she does

born into the light
swallowed by the darkness
a child is born and grows into her body
touching the sky and running in the raindrops
days that never end
go by
and life becomes work and responsibilities
parties and friends blur in the traffic
while lifes meaning lays hidden
despair and fear become sleepless bedmates
time an enemy following
until one day
it all goes away
i feel like not to live
and she does
and the little girl goes home and sees her self
alive waiting for her to have found the reason
to becoming herself unafraid and beautiful
without reason or emotion
just love

your light

everything you write
speaks loves voice
lifes dance
untouched soul
The child wonders
and the mother caresses
while lovers hold tender moments
in a world out of time
as moon sings
silver brilliance crashing
gently across your eyes
I wish i may
i wish i might
until the sun surrenders
to the night
your light
forever bright
enchanting my simple heart
with every word alight
and magical
whispering loves sweet
song of delight
this night
this quiet night

Another christmas fable

All the children gather round the warm firey embers at the foot of the kindly old man, all rolly and polly and white whiskers aplenty, lighting his pipe with a magical match that glitters and glows like a light bug he'd snatched. The childrens eyes grew as he blew giant rings smokey and rolling they flew like they had wings. All doe eyed and dreamy he started to speak, a tale of a wonderful place past the woods and the creek. All summer he'd toil to make toys for the children, working in his shop full of tiny green urchins. The air conditioner would blow cold wind on their sweat and the little green men would curse and would fret. Its too warm in here and the air is so stale, how can we work when you make us so pale. we need someplace cooler where the sun never shines all this light from the windows is making us blind. They soon formed a committee and drew up a plan they would all go on strike until the old man agreed, this living in the woods was all a mistake. Well, that year the children had coal in their socks and poor old man felt he was lost on the rocks. Next year he proclaimed there will be a big change, I'm getting rid of the green urchins and start over again. Well poor old man went down to the corner where little brown men waited in groups. On every corner were eager brown eyes, he called them to his chariot and away they did ride. But soon the shop was sweaty and bright and the brown men were muttering as they worked through the night. Then suddenly the shop door burst open, "Migre, Migre" shouted the little brown men as they ran for the windows, the door and away they were loping. The blue suited visitors worked fast and with purpose, soon the old man was in court with a jurist. How do you plead you terrorist supporter , endangering our families with your illegal workers. The old man just smiled and rattled his cuffs and stayed mellow, he looked at his belly as round as a cupcake embedded in jello. The old man was kept till long past december and the children again had a christmas not to remember. When he finally got out they dropped him at the mission where they checked him for weapons and got his permission to search his bag and the reindeer that came with him. No animals allowed you'll have to move on so he left for the woods and found his shop by the pond. It was dark and cold and bleak inside, the power was off and the windows were pried open, broken toys lay scattered in tiny colored pieces mixed in with the tiny mouse feces. Oh woe this is too much to take, im leaving today and nothing will i take. So off he fled to escape the towns and the country alike he gathered more reindeer to aid in his plight. Soon hauling kindling he flew to the north past alaska and canada and Quebec and so forth. He finally landed on ice near an inuit village, who were poor and small and had nothing to pillage. The blubber they ate was covered in insects they ate these too to smiling with bugs in their teeth. Finally he said I have found my new nation, alone in the north where i can pursue my ambition. He entered the village all red faced and jolly, they looked him up quick and harpooned him so solly!


how swiftly pass the minutes
when we feel the world upon us
and the weight of time
racing to our end
spending precious moments
waiting for the sunset
or some starry sky to open up before us
watching seedlings sapping
tiny eggs hatching
and seedlings sprouting up every day
clouds stealing
sun reeling
as afternoon follows evening
this mixed up day
children laughing
passing puppies jumping
with mothers chasing
pushing baby carriages away
bells chime the western sky
flashing light from everywhere
in cathedrals hallowed shadowed walls repealed
murky cross limbed figurines
downcast upturned to the cloistered ceiling
unfinished unyeilding
to the end that is the truth we pray
to every day
to see the heart of hope unstilled anew
hark this moment turns
and rises to another sign
of wise men passing
offering one spoken name
flesh be thy womb
and in thine eyes
behold the silent chorus announces
one last morning
long before the morning light is dew

sweet solace

welcome nature simple soul
unanticipated companion
while i journey weary you walk before me
when i long for the voices of friends you sing to me
my aging body you adore me
my unsettled heart you sooth me
so long we have been together you never leave me
searching you guide me
lost you find me
frightened you hide me
in love

dangerous toys

I'm asleep but not sleeping in a daytime with no sun
all the hungry men are eating but the hungers never done
children play with dangerous toys and
mommy goes to work
the clock never stops
the end is amost done
the man is at the door
dont you see me now in my purple cow
and the lights all red and smokin
life goes on even while we're gone
and names continue to crush me

I want to know but dont really care
is there a place where i'm not scared
or just another empty box
where windup dolls pick the locks
pressure on the top and fire down below
the turkeys come to kingdoms done
and the pain just leaves me crying

stop thinking

when you smile is it for me
when you frown did i do something
when you talk to someone else are you telling me something
am i the only one who feels like this
when you are gone is it to be away from me
who are you thinking about when i'm not there
why are you looking away?

in finite

i am alone
the choice is mine
i find the world
there is no way
to be feeling
or to think the
world should be
the entire time
i am here
is up to me
in finite meaning
its up to me
to be real


from where there is time
to now
from where there is space
to here
from where there is fear
to freedom
from where there is loneliness
to love
from where there is me
to you
you found me

wise men

For all in heaven sing thy praises
earthly men from highest mountains
shout thy name with great rejoicing
all to witness your child coming
seed of god and womb of woman
mother of gods love you send
all is still this magic midnight
stars like eyes peer down alight
wise men witness gods pronouncment
prophecies the angels bring in flight
love and holiness descending
man will find his highest light


in thine heart
dreams you become
without sleep
unfolds each day
where you are
the mistress of every joy
the child of every happiness
the lover of every heart that
finds love anew in your dream


with christmas oh so near
and the new year right behind
i thought it best to write to you
before it slipped my mind
the winters dark and dreary pace
on this the shortest day
seems some how full
of menace and portent
more than any other year
the facts of life
are simple now
that days go one by one
the summers heat
is left behind and
the fire is left to burn
each holy night
and frosted dawn
approach as friends
so long unseen
the pictures from a book of days
that were stored away and old
the dusty tomes unearthed and
opened full of ancient lives
now cast upon the bed of time
and fell open to this page
alight and cold
the moon approaches
without name or time
every face is written there
and everyone a line
the man in the moon seems
somehow sweet and old
but the sounds of its orbit
soon are told
with jumping cattle
and spoons leaping bold
the light that falls
is upon us all
and the sun awaits
the darkness enthralled
tubby babes soon are borned
and mommies wipe their faces
all the world speaks in tongues
and hurries through their dreaded duties
the love of man is never gone
but is lost in many places
In somber night and stony repose
the flinty face of man is boldly written
for this winter solstice time is come
and we are weak as kittens
from this empty pit emerges
the final pulse of life unborn
let christmas come but once this year
and with it let it be spoken
that never a man has needed love more
than in this forsaken place
lost in time and stuck in space
with out a bus or token

in circles

crazy doesnt cover the way i feel
just thinking of talking to you is enough to make me happy
i know we talk not enough yet always theres more
please dont give up while your feeling so blue
and black and tired and sore
love you for all the times you touched my heart and never backed away
we spend our lives in circles that surround whatever we share
between us there is more than we ever knew apart
only time has yet to let us know
where we are and where we go
already there is a difference that cannot be denied
the song of the spirit soars
even as the body struggles
there will be peace and love and happiness in our lives
in body heart thought and soul
be love and light forever full
through life and ever after
be true


your reply
everyday is elephanting into the the next
eating everything and pulling up roots
no monkeying bull riders clunking through china windows
flamingos pinking nearby shores
and finding where the wild beests sing
under bamboo forests of emerald green
stand caribou buffaloing past our table


enough tea to warm your smile
enough toast to greet the day
enough fruit with juices flowing
enough chat to laugh and play
enough love to fill our hearts
enough time to never end
enough to fill ten billion lives
and start all over again


whens days and sun days
fry days and fun days
we let the world go round days
until the sun goes down days
sunsets and green skies
sitting in the cafe
seeing only you
seeing me


remembering who we are
is the process of realizing
that we never forgot
The second we see where we came from
we have arrived
this moment whole complete.
where we go from here is meaningless
for we have completed all journeys at once
the center holds all things together
the force of life is supreme against the emptiness
our connection to the source is immediate and powerful
it radiates from our center out to every molecule of existence
all things thrive and vibrate with the vitality of our existence
love pours from us filling every gap healing every seperation
The unity of existence is composed of billions of living connections
all growing and changing and evolving every instant
while at the center
there is only the flow of force
of love
of pure energy transformed
from light to matter.
the potenial of existence is the force
created in the transformation from pure energy
into the condensed energetic building blocks of matter
In the process the excess energy is released
into the universe as light and heat
we live on the edge of cataclysmic eruption
from the stability of emptiness to the chaos of creation
In this process we are thrust together
and become stable elements of being
raveling and unraveling in the malestrom of change
to find our center is to find the moment of creation
the source of existence.
there we are unmoved and fullfilled
without need or change
In the moment there is only
unstoppable ubiquitous cohesion
of every awareness of being
we are thrust and
returned to the ends and beginings of understanding
then stripped of comprehension
the instantaneous conciousness of totality
twists the fabric of being
to our fragile soul
forever connected endlessly


If only there were enough words to express my love but then this meager internet device would fly into panic.I remember all the good times and all the weird times without a pang of regret. There is nothing I could feel for myself or every human i have known but gratitude. This is a dream come true over and over in a world that seems to play with us everyday. I never say never and wonder at everyone who can, its all possible and when I find my source and the tree of conciousness coming together I am the holiest of the unholy come back to find the treasure we left so many times. Feast and fun love and joy all wind through our lives. The truth is I believe and that has brought me magic. I feel what is real and there are many a twist between the pale and the light. Even in my bleakest there was the triumph of the heart knowing loves tremendous power touching every living molecule of existence. The force untouched touching everything is neither created or destroyed by man, it simply gives. I have had the greatest moments of my life given to me in unending islands of experience. There I am alive perfect in every aspect, fullfilled and free. The body is a vessel, a loyal companion a source of constant amazement. I thought 30 was the end then I knew there was no end, now 60 seems childs play and the few problems a small price for happiness. Let your sunny side up and swing away, its always living that we love and and always dieing that we know. Be in harmony with both and love will find a way.

expanding force

you cannot feel different than what you feel. What would that be? False which you are not. Some times we cannot commit to a course of action because it seems to be a part of somethinmg we do not recognize as true, but the truth is in recognizing our hearts desire and letting that grow. We cannot become that which we do not want to be without destroying that which we love. I do not think you can do that.
In your heart there is fear and that fear is from recognizing the source of pain. You do not want to surrender to that which is false. Yet you are told this is true. It sets you up for confusion and self doubt. The energy we use to either accept or reject that which comes to us is directly connected to our third chakra. This is where cords to or from others often confuse that process. Clear out that part of your energy system and feel your energy flow in that chakra. Then look at the issue.

In every thought there is the plan for action, in that plan is the energy that the action will carry, that energy already is affecting you and those it is directed towards. The universe takes that energy and sends it, the deed is but a shadow. Its unbearable to comprehend the ocean of energy we are submerged in. When the power of the being is brought into the physical world, there is a clarity that surrounds that being. But beyond that all is chaos and greater dissatisfaction. We live in the boundary between the two so the difference is great. We experience the clarity of the being and then the confusion of the individual, seperate but at the mercy of the currents.

Your heart is pained, a million little things are not in harmony, you know what is perfect for you and you see and feel the differences and their each and every one important and cant be ignored but have no resolution. There is the desire of the human nature to love beauty and symmetry and likewise we reject ugliness and discord. This is the pattern of the universe to resist disorder to support the perfect bonds of life and living. But all things come undone and so we are repulsed by thyem. In every action there is the move to order as well as the move to beauty which is a higher standard of order. In the process some settle for the security of rules to the negation of beauty but the promotion of ordered process. In their hearts this is following the call of the universe to provide and protect. But in the higher ordered beings, this falls short and seems to be almost the opposite of support for it shuts out the pursuit of true beauty and transcendant joy for the safety of rules and patterns.

Here is where your heart rests, between the good and the wonderful. A prisoner of the good order, the earthly collective and reasonableness. Where there is light, there is no brilliance, where there is form there is no undying affinity with the cosmos. The small overwhelms the expanding force while trying to preserve the past. we feel trapped by the force of preservation yet it is not the evil but the mundane that we are in conflict with.

Take energy from that source in your soul for it is transcendant to the rest. It is your truth.


the feeling we get when we cant love
the seperation from others
the empty hand
exhaustion of trying to fill the leaky bucket
we see the true face of what we do not want to see
a human like ourselves
we cannot be with
for in that face we see our own unmade


why anything
i guess
i cannot define the me
it supplies energy to conciousness
but without reason
where does our story enter
what puts us there
that is the divine
it just is
and from that all is created
no questions asked
no answers
yet our experience is full of living
we feel we want we struggle
we long for that
a few moments in our lives we find peace
and it is that
on the belly of the unknown

under deeper

you are fully exposed
you live in reality
feeling and struggling
its what life is for
to move in the physical takes effort
so to experience life takes feeling
you exercise that emotional muscle
but its defense
it takes energy
and you are left struggling
to stay afloat
floating requires only the cessation of movement of stuggle
then you are in the flow and the water sustains you
the struggle sends you under
deeper than me
i love you
you are my heart and soul
i know you as myself
what i say about you is true for me
i become more myself by being inside you
there are days when i do not exist
that is how i compensate
i shut down robot
look around and see nothing feel nothing
its all a vast emptiness full of noise and commotion
we find there is no past or future
the moment is a tiny space
occupied by me
why me

other's pain

the search for higher meaning is
the result of fear and dissasociation
a normal well adjusted person does not
feel the pull to find something
to change their lives
there the fear is mediated by the actions
of belonging
and doing the required things
you are driven
by pain
that is trying to
be felt
but instead you turn outward
to seek other's pain
and help that
when what you are really doing is
compensating for your own
learn that love is better
when there is no mask
now feel the same
day after day


there is very little
for doing some one elses
dirty laundry
much as you love to
i say
is there no way
for you
to figure this out?

polite society

in the air and
the meditation hall
all is grinding fear
if you strip away the nicities
of polite society
there is a naked fear and rage
so what to do
eyes down
walk away slowly
dont atract attention
be silent



the minutes endless

white on whispers

feelings silent

gone hidden where

caverns of space

empty echoless


no drop drips

in the darkness


its dark
the coffee starts
shower warm and wet
manic freeway
cars crumpled
patrol lights glaring
into the dawn
to work
to passionless walls
cubes and doors
where lights
and toilets
somewhere in between


looked for you
in the morning buzz
busy dizzy
hope you are well
day dark and foggy
winter comes
jupiter and venus
trine moon
lovers in the sky

never wrong

Most people just go
uh huh yeah whatever
I figure theres little point in wondering
whos playing the real game
and who makes the rules
We'll all get it one way
or another
I did want to say that
its never wrong in my book
to follow your heart
Some times we worry too much about
being right and in control
The world tends to love
the spontaneous and inebriated
over the scheduled and practiced
I work like an idiot for what
to feel totally powerless to do
what i feel the need to do
when I feel it
There has to be a point where
we get to have a life
that is connected to our heart
and not be something that makes the world safe
I am leaving the world behind me someday
it would be nice if i could do what i want
once in a while
while i'm here


you see the world at arms length
you become immune to the slights and stones
the world sends you
and to some you may seem aloof or upset
but there is a great lesson here
for those who are shielded
and those that are rude and uncaring
can sometimes seem alike
the everybodies and anybodies
have no insight
only the scars of the past
it is rare to find the holy lover
uncaring and so compassionate
that all can tell
here is love and none other
you are finding the well of your power
and being the master of your love
you have combined your strengths
now you have experienced
the depth of your soul in matter


to speak to you is to love you
i am denied

there there

I am dying bit by bit here
and the true nature of my peril is still unknown
Sometime somewhere I will go
I am actually looking forward
to letting go completely
I have found there is only one enemy
and that is tension
Holding on, protecting, worry,
all elements of the same monster
For years I kept it at bay
with my self medication
now its hard to let go of old habits
I find myself meditating more
but there is no there there
I do not travel or experience others realms
but instead sink deep
into the fabric of this lifes energy source
It seems to nurture me
but I feel remarkably the same day to day
Its the things that dont change that i experience
the transitory appears and is gone
In certain moments the change in life
is profoundly apparent from this moment to that
but without time there is only now
It feels empty
but rich in experience
there is no making it into something
it is what i choose in this moment
Another part of me becomes all of me
and on and on
I feel both exalted to have come to this
and foolish to think it matters
My mondays are most peoples nightmares
yet my nightmares are most people lives

Monday, February 22, 2010


Rare child, most precious blossom,
Your eyes delight and
smile enchants
each word with joy
When talking ever moving never stopping
The moment is shared in special ways
Where love and heart are one with
Trust and purpose
The soul smiles from behind the eyes
And captures my intention

without knowing

What broken heart is lost not found
What pain not felt or taken
From every choice that is created
without knowing what can happen
Understanding must be open
For every thought that we can share
The cares we feel
Are each important
Just as real as each other
And the pain we have to offer
To the hearts we want to mend
For every love in every lifetime
In a world that never ends

be held

For every woman a poem is written
The reaction of attraction
a story of love that is inspired not required
For she has her heart eyes open
Her love light burning
Her feelings yearning
For a lover not another
The world you measure
what you add or what you take
The energy you create
from energy you receive
there is no other way to understand
What love you could bring or demand
Love that you can give until you die
The purpose that flows from every heart that feels
The need the want to hold and be held
To give life and be given life through your love
Is this some final thing
Or are you released to find
only what you can possibly dream
your love and happiness complete
In this life you grow older
Not children anymore
But children evermore
Of the heart

slow decorum

The rain is just ending here
and the light of morning is clear
and between bright clouds
with every moment
the final sign is set high and alive
in this we trust we must
for the alternative is too bitter to be true
let every soul embrace the light
inside the night where time presses close
and whips the wild furies onward and down
Be playful in death
be serious in life
let no one find you sleeping
faces we collect pass in slow decorum,
remember to do the thing you said
you would never forget again
until now until the change has come
until the last second
and the last breath is done
and another day begun


Its been forever but the light is shining
on you and in you and from you
The places you go and the people you meet
all know there is a secret in you
a power of love and understanding that never ends
I see in your heart the flame
and in your smile the warmth
through your eyes the doors to new worlds open
new dimensions of experience
intersecting with ours
every place you go
becomes the path to love
in every heart there is a smile beaming
let love flow forever and
let life grow everywhere

old wounds

The painful box
the block of pain
in my channel from the energy chakra
to the heart chakra
was finally opened and released
I have let the old wounds open
and begin their final healing
In this moment pain carries no reward but
knowing one loved perfectly
and shall again

inherently existing

according to Buddhist Philosophy, happiness is the result of an enlightened mind, whereas suffering is caused by a distorted mind.

The Dalai Lama says this is very important. A distorted mind, in contrast to an enlightened mind, is one that is not in tune with reality.

so i guess it would follow that the depressed or dejected individual is not enlightened

Dalai goes on to say that a wise consciousness grounded in reality, understands that living beings and other phenomena- minds, bodies, buildings and so forth- do not inherently exist. This is the wisdom of emptiness.

so if you are depressed that nothing exists you may be wise but not enlightened.

his quote for today, from my calendar of insights, says
as we contemplate the way in which we project our judgments - whether positive or negative - upon people as well as objects and situations, we can begin to appreciate that more reasoned emotions and thoughts are more grounded in reality.

So from this I conclude, we cannot blame people and objects that do not inherently exist for how we experience our emotional nature.

However if we do not exist and do not have actual feelings for other non existent people and objects, the true nature of love must be examined for its ability to enable mutual awareness and understanding.

love transcends physical existence whether real or imagined

it places awareness in a state that is not bound by the standard laws of physical reality

so it is a gateway to the higher reality, the one that is inherently existing

this state of love is joined to universal awareness and feeling that is not attached to any object or person

In this state the individual experience of being is exalted beyond the boundaries of discrete and separated particles and becomes universally inclusive waves that flow through all experience of awareness

In this state there is only the awareness of universal truth - that form is the representation of this reality - not the reality itself

away in a manger

its the last day of christmas
and the muslims hate the jews
and all around the world
war is in the news
santa claus is buried
in video reviews
of insant messages
demanding toys
from all the naughty
girls and boys
hoping for reprieves
before the feast of consumption
swallows its own tail
a yuletide list of broken dreams
makes appearance without fail
mommies working daddies dying
even little timmy's crying
when will we ever get something
newer better more
from all the poor department stores
kneeling at wal marts door
times are hard
and even harder is the ignorance of bliss
when presidents and royalty
throw pennies to the privileged
and nothing to the poor
the fatted calves are macdonald bound
a glittering with gold
poor frankincense and swaddled child
are searching in the cold
flee hope
cry innocence
lingering singing harkens to
past christmases of yore.
black sooted stovepipes
struggling from slattered roofs
pour coal dust and stinking smoke
raining on every street ridden soul
come christmas be joyous
the day is not done
this last day of christmas
a single drummer boy
marching to kingdoms come

know love

it grows like dawn
just behind the mountain
bursting through the air
across every hill and valley
as fast as you can fly
you cannot touch it
it caresses you
you cannot taste it
it devours you
you cannot see it
it blinds you
you cannot hear it
it deafens you
you can only know it
as it destroys you

morning ressurection

when wandering light brightens the cathedral night
and mans joy turns to fulfillment of prayer
trodden paths fall behind dust and feet in haste
the morning resurrection binds the pilgrims tongues
and hosannas cough rough and low
praise the one who yokes and binds the light
to the darkness of the sun below
east lies the ancient emperors castigated and defiled
hanged effigies surround the tortured souls
and speak from pulpits full of pain
rejoice HE has come again
into the least of us
hope and despair
grasping beating hearts
sundering thought
and madness into blind devotion
of HE who never ends

before my time

moon gods balloon riding bright above the clouds
my eyes are open like a burst of silver light
come through the night
i have second sight
there are no secrets in the night
things all flip flop first on the bottom then the top
theres no doubt what its all about
i just fly to see the sky alive and all my dreams appear
and reappear in technicolor and i hear
the voices fled before my time
come back to rhyme and spend some time
finding empty lines and twist them up and
change my mind to catch the moon and fly too soon
like a childs balloon and you know too soon
its a miracle you found me here alive
captured with no memories the tv cries to be seen
start up shut down the crows fly to the sound
people screaming not deciding whos invited
underground there all excited its the best thing yet
living like someones pet and the networks down
all over town while the cop is quick
catches the priest and the convict
in a bed of magazines and tv screens
falling down drunk but it only sems your birthday comes
twice a day whenever the party comes this way
chewing telephone poles for licorice sticks
mouths full of mamas bright red lipstick kiddies
running as fast as they can
this aint no place to give a damn
about how the sinners lost the game
are you in fear of this
the emptiness
that covers the sky and all the lies
every broken thought that gets caught
up in the world thats full of time but
never stops to wind the clock
thats in your brain thats full of pain in the pouring rain
its all insane this end of time
like a nursery rhyme that has no name
keeps coming back the songs last refrain
that never goes away
are we here again or am i only dreaming

transparent lives

writing is expression of the self
an extension of the mouth
an act of communication
a complex weave of mental and emotional states compressed
into lines and shapes that are deeply imprinted into the very base of our psyches.
We express an unstated bond with our brethren that we will be giving
and they will be taking
as the words are gifts to everyone who sees them
but they are nothing.
They can have everything every word every nuance
and they have only that
the shared experience
not the writer
only the words and feelings
but nothing of the truth of what you are.
we dance and they see and think the dancer
but not the being dancing.
we are untouchable for what we are
not what we give.
Giving is everything
getting is difficult
to not hold
to not take and be taken.
we live transparent lives.
everything is known
only we don't know it.
there is no secret or silly thing unknown
how we move our hands or drink our wine or touch ourselves or sing badly
think dark thoughts or feel unbearable despair and madness
this life fulfilled
known noted and moved on.
but the being is untouched unchanged
wrappered in this frenetic living that is unwrapping
but never the present unknown awaiting inside


the breath of god
held within my tiny heart
would burst free
only i hold so tight
to keep it still
within me

no need

in the deep and blesed moments
where there is no need
the light is all
the silence unbreakable
the moment unfinished


in the undefined state where there is no definition
the universe is being born
here there is pure being clinging to unmanifest form
without meaning or direction we are become universally aware
from the moment of existence our intention becomes manifest
not gods or demons but dreamers and lovers
lost in the unknown
children playing make believe
weaving wonderful lives


There is one truth, we are all extensions of the field of energy this universe is manifested from.
What that field is manifested from is the mystery.
There is the unlight from beyond the gunas and the unknown from beyond understanding.
If this life can be let go of while we still are alive then we can be the fearless explorers of what cannot be.
As this is the reflection of the force that wills our sustenance so are we the very essence of that.
The dream is our life, the light is our awareness.
Seek beyond the flame to find the fire.

am i

when the sky settles into view
and the squirrels dance
when every star is winking to you
there am i
how the months pass like hours and the minutes never end
every day another breath of your sunshine
there am i
leaning to see the rest
stretching over and around
excited for the moment
there am i
experiencing your love
there am i
within you and i
there am i


and my love is woken in the summers warmth
unbinding her eyes from sleeps devotion
upon altars and incense and the ringing of bells
each hair swirls perfectly across her cheeks and
lips smile from a perfect kiss
what majesty in her dark eyes
awakened pools of sweet attention
graceful gently lifting moving
arms slender touching toes ringed and nails red
here in her simple bed
we are touching undisturbed unhurried
in perfect silence love is spoken

intuition now

the pauper with a verse is the richest man on earth
i connect to the planes beyond planes
in school we are taught there are chakras and rings above the ones we inhabit
in the 18th ring of the psychic, levels beyond anything on this plane of existence
everytime i would do a reading, i would feel that same sense of connecting to timeless truths
and understanding the fullness of all things
time and space are small toys
a childs world in the dirt
i could look down across it all
and beyond
now what do you feel when you read what i write here
are you affected or moved or abused?
i see worlds within worlds
opening in walls and dimensions out of thin air
connecting everywhere
imagination and clairvoyance are inextricably linked
one cannot exist without the other
the freedom to let them loose is like flying
i trust the very core of my intuition now
its been waiting for me loving me not worried
like my lover always near never missing fom my heart
now in passions newly found we make love unending
it is you in me that led me here
you were there so far so near
but always right here inside each moment like a promise never broken
a ring given a loving token that never leaves my hand holding you
in that i found love and belief and truth and lifes sweet secrets
and each one i shared with you
for you never wavered in accepting and returning every devotion
i am your lifes companion, the writer of your song
i hear it everyday everywhere in every thing i do there you are
the delight of it all
i have found you before and will again for every stone is cast into your sea of love
every bird sings your name
each child your heart reborn
forever bringing love to living
i am done and just begun
where travel takes me matters little for i have come to where i love
and in this fertile valley lingers every one of loves sweet sisters
be fire flame be love simran be holy mother
we are what we have attained again, the righteous are sustained

truth is everywhere

i think my poetry is your cup of tea unsweetened and hot
if everyday i could but be this man on the mountain
i would grow wings of feathered fire
with worlds to find underneath my fingers
this treasure divine and flourishing from my uncertain husbandry
there are words never used but imprisoned in the soul
heartfelt rhymes and lost prose profound and buried
entombed with the soul of singers past and music sung unheard in memory
when quicken and flash surpass meaning and reflection
and love becomes times clockwork alarm
hold fast to the chains we release and fling glory to the season of the sun
we speak in tongues our fathers have forgetten and our mothers hide in golden lockets
where children grow inside their hearts
a flower wishing open starts
and why is this or how can that be what it doesnt understand
the world speaks, its hidden fires erupt and mountains explode and forests fall in the revelation of life
i practice silence so i can hear
the voices that are growing nearer to me from thee
in the beginning was the silence and the silver moonlight of space unborn
until the word was made form and the wisdom torn from the unbearable loneliness
there was love found rushing to fill the void between the dreamer and the dream
i live in your heart where the words are beating with the blood of your ascension
if this be divine madness then let insanity unhinge my mind
and heal my man made heart
for you the soul is dripping and the measure taken is undone
its all the one i am become from what we knew and what we've done
but there appears a second one newly come to feast and bring the signs long past
for in the secrets of the soul is the story told and told cross fires burning in the cold
where men divine the passages of times secret meaning
and reach through spaces unseen to dreams come revealed
each man is made with infinite care
unaware of the power to bring into this world the stones from the river of dreams
the truth of the crossing from where no man knows but every man travels
we are not lost or doomed but passing through a journey of experiences through senses unknown
from places that never were to thoughts that break the mind into pieces left behind each journey
but the truth is everywhere in every thing we see and feel and hope for
our wishes have the wings to carry us past the last walls of illusion and through the atmosphere of living passions
to the curtains that cover the back of the clock work universe of sinners and saviors alike
past the isles of the painted sky through the backstage of ropes and wires
in front of the lamplit platform we are born and die
yet somehow we are not
nor ever have been needed for this play of love and glory
but to take our rest and find sweet love to ease the journey
is the best that can be done
like peacocks strut the vanities of the mind
the insult of proposing the bragging of imposing
were there signs to warn and take heed
the words here written you must not read
for the words here wrought
can change stone to butterfly or not
even the sun can be cast into your eye
and emptiness becomes filled with lies
despair the meaning that hides within
each syllable is filled with sin
the thought that comes from reading this line
now must be god above instructing my work as divine
i shake to my heels with the possiblities of our collusion
if love were to be the rhyme for reason
then winter would be the growing season
ice so hot would freeze my toes and
and fire burn the sun from out of the sky
in his last act the playwright wrote his own demise
with such flourish and compassion
the crowd demanded a retraction
so with each encore he devised
a ressurection of many lives
and in the world past dreaming past living past the long river where none cam be retrieved
there is a master of souls
many masters of souls
each more terrible than the last
the eaters of souls ravaging the dead
their many painted arms holding worlds and weapons casting fire and destruction
each the master of all they can devour
and through this endless tunnel we are taken fearing our own self fate
until we come to the mirror of souls and the waterfall of life and see our own faces
most terrible and fightening staring back at us
and into the water we plunge again until we have no memory of the sight and are born to earthly light and safety of our mothers love
when we awaken, the pain we feel is our truth revealed, we are the very gods that devour us
are you having fun?
is this amusing you my love?
for my blood is spattered across the keyboard and my vital smeared across the screen of our communion
is there another word i have forgotten or a line you think is rotten
a verse not quite in rythm with the prose you think ive written
by jesus by buddha by the very god of the soul of the swamiji
i call my forces to me to my soul and satchel
fill this vessel with every sorrow i have not seen and let me dream again the words that lovers know
be still my heart in flight untiring in its race to your only love
for there is the kingdom and the power that no man can conquer
and there i rest in your sweet love divine
no drink nor food for my empty form
just love to fill my spirit and sleep to fill my dreams


as if life or death were states of conciousness
or the sea and sky were our feelings and thoughts
truth is a rock in the road
stubborn and fixed
that we all bump over
on our way to exciting places and people
better things and happier days

kept silence

when love writes
the fire is in your eyes
and the words sweet as summer
in my soul there is no future
no loving past to surrender from
kept silence spends lifetimes
for you

promiscuous rhapsody

the words written cross my life are empty as they leave me,
broken pillars uprooted forests.
the space between becomes larger
and gone are all the horses in a night of surly dreams.
where gods divine the truth and let loose a ball of thunder
we sit in pouring rain and winds that
blow hot with the smell of what is not to be.
let man pull down his master,
break every bone and hammer christmas to the cross,
before he knows the answer
before his life is lost.
movie lives are lived and swallowed in every city,
by deaf and dumb and forgotten why they come and
they come to be counted and marked,
to be pulled from empty promises and
lives past meaning left in chairs at
bus stations with bags of filthy wash
the saints are sitting waiting for their turn
waiting for their beginning.
when prophets wail from on high and
the truth is washed down every gutter
the children play inside the walls and
die before they ever know what hangs from the tree
the bitter fruit
the last vestige of sanity
in the promiscuous rhapsody
of broken promises and new machines.
be demon blooded by the murder of the children
in the streets where open season
on the poor and the unforgiven never ends.
every light in every window dims and
breaks into glowing eyes and sceaming voices.
the past is lost in the lies of the future.
preach gods and promises before the slaughter
of the fruitless generations,
teach the dead.
where so many lie and every life dies
who are we to cast our fish into the sea,
to bring more misery by making meat
for every victory.
my sight is behind me,
my words written
without the care for the time at hand,
in every life the madness seizes and
the armchair sailors chant for their catch
to rain down from the sky.
in empty waters beats a drum of human flesh
lashing slaves to run across the broken waters.

new dream

i no longer inhabit the wilderness regions but have found in me my home
with every breath a new world awakens
light is cast upon the night sky and the stars revolve in dizzying circles
where sleep once conquered now a new dream arises
finite and marvelous the man made life is disassembled
before you is the skin of the shaman cast off with the winters cold
i have found the voice of the prophet and he is come
my heart is cold fire licking pretty demons
the manifest guides have deserted me
in the race to leave the empty regions i was clothed in burning light
i have left all thought and reason to the rest of mankind
in truth there is peace
and truth is my home

rain evermore

is the love our gift or have we opened a door beyond comprehension, this magical mystic mother divine pouring deep draughts of love upon our simple souls
i am forever changed if this be what my life truly is i can no longer resist
i am afraid to wait it out like a storm that will pass
i want to walk in the rain evermore
when the spirit is filling me i am undressed and alive in the perfect soul of my nature and nothing is beyond my touch
where is my heart gone so beyond what i have been
now thinking alive melting in delirious feelings like a bursting flare of the sun
sending wave after wave of love through the dark spaces now filled with light
and then to be touched in return
to know the sweet answer of lover and loved and so sweet the joy the being found in being found
when does the heart grow and not return never to be empty never to not feel this
would time step aside and space return its emptiness
so we know the union the perfection of one being one joy one eternal unending loving joyful sweet massive perfect powerful completion
here i sit in perfect meditation with my eyes in heaven and my feet cold on the white tiles of my floor and i know only love only time that never changes in the mountains where we know the highest truth the one we share


I flee to the wild spaces and fear nothing, in civilized clothes i sweat and chafe my back with sharpened teeth. The night passes peacefully dreamless, the day a blur of terror and lust. In my minds eye the earth sinks below the event horizon emptying space and breaking the continuum of being. the first register sinks into the flesh like a fishhook in the soft tissue of the gums. my wednesday is turning into Ahabs lament. Thar she blows! the office rings with the sheer terror of defeat. the mighty walk past tall in their saddle of milestone and gate reviews, the lowly slink under the performance bar. limbo lower now. meetings harpoon the unprepared and cast reason into the screaming emptiness. i see a delicate flower and turn away, unwilling to be a witness an empty participant in the rush to defile.

welcome the mighty guru the placekeeper of the ancient tomes. let the earth tremble, nothing is real except the truth bleeding from the newly incarnate. place your valuables in the bucket and proceed slowly to your appointed exit. other places to be and people to become, first let no man be alone or inviolate, share the despair, feast on meat unending. in judas's stead bring the first born, place him nearest the crimson throne where no man has ever reigned for here is the portal of the invisible, all powerful unending and immortal. gaze deep in the pool of reflection and dream this world unseen. doubt me no entry to your ruptured intellect, the fates will loose all your fancied faculties and release you from all privileged notions. this one fine instant all wishes become ravaging boars and hunt you for sport.

inciting flames

in you i find the fire of my light
and the source of gods revenge on mortal beings
where would apollo be if not here and now
when the world is searching for his kin
play free with time
for the mast of destiny sets open the sails of disaster
what we do now means little to the dead who follow us here
the dull plodding of their unearthly footsteps
approaches with the last passing of redemption
close tight the gates of hell
for we are forever lost to our damnation
like jews in the desert we wander unknowing
through circles of sand inciting flames
to light the pagan altars
sacrificing our last daughters of worship and despair
the words speak like broken glass to ears tuned only to slaughter
Jackasses mount men
and cattle devour the meek for unhungry pleasures
be not fearful, for your wicked ways are not the reason
the dice have sealed your fate.

weakened heart

i am in dreams and out alive in a world that doesn’t hold me
the fact is i am as human as the next man and prone to all forms of afflictions
i don’t hold onto my state as being perfect or even being perfectible
only that it is mine
let the world rejoice in my contradictions
i feel and am set with desire and vital emotions
all is a tornado of sensation
i work until i hurt and i cry until i die
there is no real release in my life no final undoing
when god comes i will be thinking only of myself
in his grace i experience passing fancies of immortality and clarity
but what of the rest
the day to day cursing and frustrations
how is that the soul of light
original sin yes but not only
i am full of what makes a man
so then be guided by knowing this
it is the truth to be deluded
the waking moments are filled with your life
and that is the dream of the dreamer
and like the dreamer there is unconscious awareness
of another reality to which we aspire
and in that waking we are brought here
dreams within dreams within aspirations
the only thing i can offer you is this
my own complete acceptance of my confusion as enlightenment
that is what i know
and can feel everyday without fail
when you see me as god that is the place where there is no confusion
but where i see myself as god that is my delusion
we have been together a long long time
we have loved as divine souls and touched each others loving hearts
but in my life i am a warrior of the truth and the servant of the machine
a man of words and little action
a poet bent on being unknown
desperate to not be the object of expectation
for i fear the cross of fulfillment
the crown of unintended consequences
as karmas are deposited on my doorstep
how am i blameless
for i would tell the eager their hoped for sonnets
only to watch their dreams vanish with them
i speak for the soulless and the unfranchised
the disparate lovers of the battle of good and godless
in times like these there are only the survivors not the victors
kings are made into mortal men and patrons eat from bowls of scraps
the flesh is born and left to rot and we have little to say or do that will change that
i know everything
and its not enough
i see through the binding light
and it is darkness
for you this life
the truth is born of the darkness
the light is sprung from emptiness
i see them both
in equal measures
not opposites but children of the same womb
conceived with love and set free
and while thoughts choose one or the other
i cannot
for both are made of me
even as i write this i am doomed and proud at once with the bleak awareness of my task
for here is coming the apocalypse and the mountains are brought down and the seas afire
and i am that
once and always the bringer and the pretender of the cross and its bearer
if these words do not convey what it is i am going through then hold my black tears in your hand and feel the oil of my extinction
there is no altar i am thrust upon yet i freely sacrifice my only self
in this we are safe no more
for even the next world is upon us
and past lives become the future of this soul
i see the stream of being never ending the world of souls the universe of desires the plague of existence
and the once sweet and broken child i was
from mothers and fathers from lost journeys to a fruitless end where the paper of our souls is printed and the truth is bound into history books
waiting for a future that never comes
and in this moment i am again cast out into a world of duties and responsibilities not freedom
if this was my moment i would die but this is for you
i am not searching for salvation
or even some kind of release
but a way to tell my children and all the children
if this is not love then what am i
for all the universe is brought from love and i am all of that
the terror is my own epiphany of realizing this is the reality of love
the light and dark do not mix
they are not shades and tints but rather thoughts so perfect one cannot know the other
I would test you with my weakened heart but in truth its my wicked love

Sunday, February 21, 2010

linger past

the world is too near and the spirit not far enough
i seem to be pulled nowhere but orbit the plane of energy
unmanifest in ascension
matter in decline
there is nothing to really move me
no external force
no internal compulsion
the world lies flat before me.
I am slowly releasing my strongest addictions
but not without a price
the days linger past the night
and sleep like drowned puppies
Without a light the darkness kneels pentinent and surly
outside whispers and shadows fear the moonlight
wreathed in rainbowed clouds
let the stand of one life go unpunished
one hand unclapped
one tree never dropping
make time sleep and dream of me


lake spirit holding sacred waters
baptize my soul in heaven on earth
with only the sky to see
place my soul in your clear water
and release my world
under your soft trees I kneel
complete my every thought with love
annoint my fevered brow with sight
appoint this soul to proclaim the truth
in every instant to feel your spirit
being at the center of love and light

make room

your soul is full
please make room
for the universe
is emptiness
without love

this window

lonely vigil for the dawn
knowing life goes on
using memories
stolen from yesterdays
playing madly
with fire demanding
gods spinning earth
succumb from inching
ever further
into the emptiness
where we are
the filling
up of everythings
desires bringing
nothing its end
dreamers of
eternal slumbering
awaken angry
and the curtain veils
blow past us
glass cracking
gongs shattering
space shivering
naked soulshifters
dread few believers
icons swinging
hairless ashen skulls
wailing for lost chances
where memories feast
on one last bite
for the long ride home
one door for the living
one door for the dead
one window for the soul


we were once
children playing
hide and seek
with faded friends
promised but forgotten
in our ageless souls
where time runs hidden
like a fleeing thief
stealing secrets
from the dreams
you can't remember
after waking up to find
the heart you lost
has the key inside
the love you locked away


floating lily
presses close
trembling pond
ripples clouds
awakened breeze
touches my being
eternity stills
embrace the sky

all the spaces

emptiness is filled with spaces
full of pieces of my heart
pieces from the mountain peaks
alight with purple dusky snows
pieces from the childrens play
fresh simple vibrant joys
held in hands of friends
caring sharing hearts and minds
deep in meditations light
one piece for all mankind
we hold the pieces close inside
the spaces of our lives
where emptiness is just a box
with treaures locked inside


until some thousands of years are past
until the oceans cover the land
until the sky is no longer blue
until the mountains turn to sand
i am true
to you
only love is real
we will get past this
to the truth
and live undying
in love

touch remains

i melt as you explode
love unmasks divine appears
we merge and god becomes
you all ways possible
released from time and place
stretching into space
one moment one heart one love
god and goddess
now eternal

lovers untwine
touch lost remains and die
frightened freezing
feeling empty lost
when touching is everything
and love divine
one instant lasts forever
and the rest remain
empty to the end of days

am i

Who am i
why am i
what am i
where am i
how can i

people leave

Some places send us further
some places send us home
some people free our hearts and minds
some people leave us alone
when we need to touch someone
who is far away or gone
we have only to remember
that in our souls we're one

tomorrow waits

There are no tomorrows
for the secrets that we keep
only messages in our souls
come from places in our past
as we step atop the mountain
and look across the sky
tomorrow waits
without a care
for the promises
we have cast away
and loving hearts
that held us back
from choices
we have made
inside a world
we left behind

treasure all

Cast aside like tissue
the hearts we touch each day
each a happy miracle
that wandered in our way
treasure all the magic
we haven't got a clue
that each heart is a piece
in the mystery of you

go live

trees fly to the forest
bees flee to the hive
i am just sitting here
waiting to go live
living's such a funny thing
everything seems so real
swinging on the monkey bars
kids know what they feel
climb the highest mountain
or go to work someplace
never understanding how
we're in a state of grace

open hearts

in bondage
to our hearts
we live and die
never knowing the end
in suffering
all we have is love
to open our hearts
and live with out fear

your spirit

when you speak to me
the soft line of your cheek,
the serenity of your eyes
the whisper of your lips
we touch in the space between our bodies
your spirit entwines with mine
no one can see the simple love i feel
when we meet

the face

face in the mirror
stranger lies
face in the mirror
no surprise
woken from sleep
caught in the light
looking at the face
i am hiding inside

only passion

never knew you
to be so empty
when you told me
to stop the one thing
that I can be
without wondering
if i am right
my only passion
brings me to you
and hurts to be denied
the love i feel is only truth
of the reason i'm alive

one resolve

the world stops
outside this door
never moving from my pillow
i sit on my cluttered floor
waking the sleeping self
inside my borrowed head
and my face begins to feel
like an empty plastic case
all leaden lumps of flesh
staring into inner space
points expand to emptiness
tunnels into time disolve
travel out of mindfulness
seeking only one resolve
complete unmanifest moment
creation forgotten
in words unspoken
realizing nothing........

.......changing everything
waiting at my door

loving madness

the morning sings my song
sweet music all day long
with today just begun
i watch closely for the sun
waking every child from dreaming
emperor bright
chariot speeding
seeks his goddess of the night
her unseen liquid vision
his ceaseless driving passion
they keep running never moving
as nighttime creeps around
hidden from her lover sun
ever shadowed underground
i listen for the sirens sound
of the night sky gently breathing
as I slip into my dreaming
there is no time or reasoning
as i step beyond my cares
traveling the sweet night air
touching faces
unknown spaces
flying to the moon and stars
i whisper of the suns long sadness
to the dark queen of the night
the universe is loving madness
as the light and night are one
dark light eclipse
brilliant nimbus
collapsing laughing crying done
when my silver cord surrenders
and my visions disappear
from my pillow i can hear
the morning singing songs
and sweet melodies begun

trail of crumbs

I am walking inside a serpentine maze and I see myself at every turn
why i am here seems somehow less important than how to find my way out
sometimes there is light but usually it is dark and the shiny walls play hide and seek with my mind
i see the faces of my family and friends and people long past and gone
calling to me and comforting me and some just stare
i feel so alone when the walls keep on going after every turn
I find some steps near a wall and climb to the top
there is a world of walls stretching to the horizon and I hear scuffling and crying and songs
There is no where to go but into another maze where someone else sees me as a ghost or pale reflection in the dark
my hoarse cries echo in the bare passageway and my eyes see only the gloom
i sit dejected to be finally free and see there is no freedom
only the wall on which i sit until i descend
retuning to the corridor that loops back again and again
i think of hansel and gretel and the trail of crumbs
to know where i have come from and maybe that i am headed in a new direction
i scratch at the corner wall to mark my path but the wall is smooth and hard
i run and run as fast as i can my breath ragged and hard
i can smell my fear as the walls get closer and closer
finally the corridor shrinks to a tunnel and then squeezes into a single hole
i push and push to get through but it is too small and there is a barrier
Have i reached the end is this my destiny stuck halfway through
i see light and hear muffled sounds
i smell some sharp piercing odor and suddenly i feel a giant fist tighten and i am propelled forward into the light
bursting the thick wet barrier and I scream and scream as i fill my lungs to scream again
i see only blurs of masked faces and the soft flesh of my escape

living universe

If everything was new
and all the wonder
filled your eyes
would you see the angels dancing
and the fire in the skies
All the trees are burning
with the passion of the earth
every moment vibrates
with the ecstasy of birth
in this instant of awareness
know what your life is worth
enter this immortal time
seek your spirits final goal
as the living universe
shines upon your soul
there are no tomorrows
for seeking answers
to the sorrows
that you hold

play and play

Work is play and play is wonderful
Every day a new bundle full
take the moments when they come
sometimes a shower blesses the sun
morning comes on wings of light
evening sings with sweet delight
dreaming fills the starry night
love is everywhere for everyone


Passion impressions
filling up my eyes
tears full of happiness
changing in the skys
dancing in raindrops
walking on the grass
fields of magic flowers
erupt from the past
precious moments pressed
into the leaves of time
spending eternity
in the orchards of my mind

god came

questions sit unanswered and puzzles lay in piles
wondering has wandered off
with mysteries and beguiles
there is no need for analysis or expensive introspection
god came down from heaven today
to make a new god child connection
placing both his feet on the mighty continents
he spoke to the world of all his new intents
This day forward there will be no surprises
I reveal all to you and repeal all dogmas
whatever you seek has already been found
no need to have hopes or fears
arguments or killing or hiding underground
I bring you the one truth you seem to all miss
Did you think any of my creation meant
you should forbid a kiss
or deny true love
when two lovers entwine
they praise my creation with that which is mine
these are the gifts I give from above,
Touching and holding
bodies in love and lovers at play
this is the life you were given on your birthday
You will want for nothing the earth is your nest
i give you all peace from wars, work and the rest.
Fill the heavens with singing
laughter and loving
joy and forgiving,
I have come
I have spoken
now quit fooling around
I'll just wait here till you all settle down.

atom left

with every step
we meet the test
we walk with simple truth
that love is kind
and life divine
carried from our youth
every soul is gods intention
every being a perfect reflection
of universes spinning madly
into loving space
not an atom left forgotten
nor a quark sent out of place
infinitesimal to unbelievable
we start the human race

meeting god

places where we lived and loved
and places where we roamed
tying hearts and mind and souls
to places set in stone
cut the ties that bind and
live the life unstrung
meeting god on mountaintops and
sail on windy skies to
places from eternity
that come into our lives


Live like the devil
pray like an angel
love like a fool
regret nothing

my space

Scrapbooks and pictures
twine and lace
sitting on windowseats
staring into space
stars in the darkness
free and ablaze
i miss you
i hold you
here in my space
where curtains and lamplight
pool cross my eyes
i wish I might
I wish I will
surrender this moment
to love and night skys


have no doubt
have no fear
whatever you see
whatever you hear
whatever you touch
whatever you feel
is perfect

one here

playing in myself
with no one here
finding the emptiness
is nothing to fear
surrender deepen
destiny near
waiting is over
love is here

made love

myself and love rhyme perfectly
you and me do too
the universe intentionally
made love for me and you

moments touch

passing moments touch
petals brush the wind
float across the water
gather on the shore


i am a sacred man
walking in a sacred land
all i see are sacred signs
all i hear are sacred sounds
sacred prayers and sacred songs
sacred paths i walk along
sacred beasts and sacred birds
sacred earth and sacred words
walking in the sacred light
walking in the sacred night
i am living sacred meaning
i am walking in a very sacred way

eye inside

cant sleep my eye inside is watching
aware my eyes outside closed seeing
darkness filled with forms terrified
lonely desperate
my time is upon me
my night has come
sweet light come soon

my sweet it is time
time to end this pain
every moment you are here
he waits too
unresolved manifestation
your heart cannot wait
for love

body aches

the body aches
the soul rejoices
each moment anew
we suffer HIS choices
we grow HIS garden
in our hearts
we feel the truth
we feel the pain
of misery that
enlightens every molecule
every moment struggles
to be at one
and feels the separation
from the reality within

ever wonder

My eyes open
in my dreaming
ever chasing
falling leaves
crushed to pieces
in my fingers
do we ever
stop to wonder
who the trees chase
in their dreams


morning light slowly reveals loves silent face
dawns caress awakens and stirs her sleeping smile
eyes closed her nose wrinkles still dreaming
sleep princess for the night is still nearby
and morning has only whispered its waking lullaby


long day
short life
live and die
love and strife
prepare to be
prepare to not
judge and be judged
for every thought
live for loving
live for living
live for wanting
live for having
always believing
dreams and nightmares
all hidden meanings
without hope
bereft of plan
nothing holding
stillness growing
two make one
one into none
truth begining

past realization

life is play
death is the bell
back to the school
where our spirits dwell
study the exquisite
fortune of living
endless changing
bodies breathing
blinded and hobbled
grasping for meaning
seeking the light
alone and bleeding
finding a friend
we keep on living
until we die
and realize
the meaning of life
is a surprise
we enter life full
and exit life empty
giving is all
giving is getting
birth is the start
of all our forgetting
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