stigma

where is pain located in the body. for me i feel the liver tight and sharp, the neck tense, the knee and back. where is the opposite of pain, nowhere. the lack of pain where i am numb and absent. in my mind i feel it all the pain points the confusion the lack of love and support the betrayal, i know i am getting too old to trust anyone. i have lived too long and seen the signs too many times, been trusting and felt the pain, i can only continue alone in this life. even now my children are losing their connection and i feel that too. all is leaving as i lose my sense of caring. the happiness is only when i stop myself. stop my ego and surrender to the devils that want only what they need, only what is their reality and need to make it yours.but that ends when the ability to make that real ends
all truth is empty, all reality false, there is no higher consciousness than awareness and awareness denies nothing. what is, is. everyone denies it tries to change it argues about it, but i see just as it is and that doesnt change.we make it what it is, if you only see your own pain then what does it matter what someone else feels. if you refuse to see the pain, then you cannot see the truth in someone else. life is misery, it leads us to accept death as our savior and our lover, nothing else can remove the stigma of existence.