the retreat road

sans that which is not me, i live for thee and thine and all that it may be for us. for here is the being supreme and nothing remains of that human desire machine now all is one and that is what i am. now its become a part of me like a hand or foot but closer like a heart or lung but deeper like my very soul born to me. i am here in the heart and there is none but that. incredible as it may sound, its become real in this life, both the knower and the known, the truth and the seeker as one. it began on the friday before the retreat, the long drive in the rented GMC 4x4 while the toyota was being repaired from its horrendous accident. all life had ceased behind me as i wove my way for hundreds of miles through the cop fueled frenzy of the easter vacation week families and friends heading for mammoth and points beyond. i sneaked through the barricades slowly and made it across the border to nevada. safe at last or so i thought, only as i drove sedately through gardnerville a street accident just a block in front of me had bodies on the road as from behind me emergency vehicles and the police raced to recover the victims. i turned around and went south of town and circled back to the road, glad to have put the carnage behind me. i serenely folowed the traffic through the south carson city traffic past the hwy 50 to lake tahoe turnoff where i could feel the pull of galilee just 14 miles that way. i was in athe slow right lane of traffic enroute to my brothers center in washoe valley when i noticed the car in fron of me suddenly hit his brakes and turn to the right hand side of the road, looking into my rear view mirror there was the dark brown form flashing the universal red white and blue lights of certainty from the masters of the streets in uniform and cap. i pulled over quickly and he came to my right side. "Was i doing something crazy? I was driving pretty careful or at least i thoiught iwas. he looked at me with his corn pone face and drawled as best a yakee neveada highway patrolman could. naw your driving okay, but your tags are expired. he grinned that gotcha look and had everything but the tothpick twirling in the side of his mouth. Well i countered , thats weird, caiuse its a rental!" I noticed it after i got the car with no gas, the gave it to me empty and when i was filling up i noticed the march tags." I reached past the bags on my passenger floor and clicked open the drawer and pulled out my rental agreement from enterprise. He studied it thouhtfully, looking for a loophole. Well thats the darndest thing he said, why wouldnt they put the tags on? He looked at me with his coolest i guess you got me but im not done yet look, I could hold you responsible technically, you know, but i wont. Just get this back to california before you get a real ticket, and he went to report his missed chance to the dispatcher back at home base. I saddled up my pony and set the 5.8 liters to humming down the road. Bodies in the streets , hundreds of ticket crazy authorities for hundreds of miles, i was relieved to arrive at the center house on chipmunk lane, just in time for evening meditation. I fell into the inky nothing, all the road rubber dropping from my weary auora.