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Saturday, May 14, 2011

centering times

second week at the center. there is the pressure of the energy, condensing, literally pressing down every time i sit, every time i stop and go within, it is present and powerful. the air is sharp with its presence and i hear a high vibrational whine at the edge of my hearing always. the altitude has some effect but its faded into the background as well. my daily walks sometimes start at 7000 ft now as the road to the summit has been reopened. the Chumash burial grounds disappear into the pine forest and the giant soldiers of the mountains reach to the earth from atop towering massive trunks of prehistoric bark. the reds and browns are like a carpet underneath the open spaces of the forest cover. hundreds of pine cones robbed of their seeds sit open across the rolling ridges of the mountain top. i talk in the mornings with my friend and we laugh and enjoy the intimate morning time. there is a pleasure in sharing that helps the day come easily and we are like lovers without bodies or children without parents. i wash the cup and coffee maker and listen to the jays chase each other around the feeding area beside the porch. what is love but being, there is no difference, to be is to love, how can you separate the two? the ananda has been constant, my self formed now to the point of an arrow let loose at the sun, unsure if the arc of my flight will fall near or far of the mark, but all i see is light and the wind is just the skin peeling from my face to hurry my ascent. love is my heart touching the end even as i begin, i know i am there,already done, the flames consuming everything. i feel a passion for the meditation, as it evolves through me, the silence the stillness almost like a lead sheet cast over me, then the expansion of the awareness and the filling of the body with the force, the widening and strengthening of the channels. i glide and all things are there flowing through me, i remain unmoving yet everywhere at once. the light descends the arms and legs disappear, one leg gone hands no longer touching but where are they. the body dissipates like the morning fog and there is only open light and space and i am that feeling of never ending expanding emptying unburdened yet full of the force, there is nothing to do, no where to go, no one to be, i am free.

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