whisper prayers

waking darkness,the light hours away. all love is here and undeniably present. she is sleeping but the being is aware and filled with love. i understand the ananda, the interaction of the unmanifest with the creation, the pure joy of being beyond the void, lashed to the trunk of the tree of life. i spend my time in meditation, sometimes just to be silent, let everything go, nothing intervenes but there are long conversations with the ego, the call to let go only makes the holding stronger. i wait still not thinking, releasing the desire to act, to see, to hear, and nothing moves. conversation goes on, the music plays, mother descends into my crown, i shake and whisper prayers of release, let this sinner go, let this end, let this self disappear.