full moon howl

the full moon rises and the energy turns to brilliance. my mind sizzles with the power of being and possibilities. i am ready for yoga my body tells me. i have been reading the blog of a yoga teacher and fantastic woman who has made a huge impression on me with her devotion to the truth of her soul and her painful peace with herself. i want to be free to be absolutely free from every tie and pain and pleasure on earth and be that, empty and whole at once with love and perfect awareness of myself and the mother as one. the life i am leaving is beautiful but there is a truth that is more real more fluid more true to myself that i have denied too long and can no longer wait for. i know i have said this a thousand times in this blog but its coming faster than even i could believe. 4 months and i am a raging tiger a clan of energies released and recaptured for myself.where does it go and what does it do when its not in ascension, i think the yoga can find it. in my very muscles and bones it lives and waits until i can free my mind and soul and feel the power the very rage of existence that flows through me.until now it has been a docile walk to become that habitless hobo i have been so in love with, now i feel the iron and steel in me forged anew in the purpose of creation of my religion of self and selflessness, emptiness and communion with the unknowable power of the unmanifest become the raging force of existence. that is the simple truth, we live on the edge of holocaust and are not free to experience it, the end and the beginning of every particle is an unending vortex and explosion of creation and destruction pulsing through the fabric of existence.i want that in me, the very feeling of the power that has created me and loves me and nurtures me Even as it destroys and annihilates universes and galaxies. i am the edge of realization and experience and the mask of love and hate impressed on being, where i go there is change and wonder, what i do is force manifest. there is no little me.only the reality of form crushing the untamable explosion of living energy into physical boundaries, tieing down the soul and gagging its expression into words and lipstick. we are the force of love life creation and the power of death and destruction released into self, damaging only our own realizations and lives with the misdirected energy, the self destroying unnatural ways of man. lost we cut our own throats and bleed into the sand hoping tomorrow will never come, but there a million souls awaken mad with the fever of despair.this is the realization, we are untameable and wild yet loving and kind but one without the other is the living death.