her only

this morning the air is warm, the summer deep in the consciousness of the land. i wake before dawn before the world even thinks of dawn. the quiet outside is supreme and the lights lend a mirror like quality to the surfaces and the sky is more black and filled with an unending aspect thats lends itself to dreams.all love and devotion to the creator and fulfilling purpose of being, i set to my yoga for old men and stretch gently through some simple asanas. i am stiffer than i remember and no bones crack as i turn my back from side to side. the morning energy is begun, all love and devotion continues as i make my simple coffee and toast upon the stove in the house of the love of my soul. the small rooms simple are filled with burning candles and lamps, but filled with love and images of the mother and sri aurobindo sit on the altars always reaching to me through their graven images. every moment here is a moment in the presence of the divine for nothing intrudes or is out of place, all things exist in harmony and balance and it is perfectly natural and the result of constant loving labors that never end. we mortals see a million small things in a million places, she sees just the one before her, just the one compltely in her attention and she fits it neatly into her perfect nature and movement. i am enthralled with the aspect of the divine here at work. this silent morning after the day with her yesterday as i sat watch for my fathers brain tumor biopsy, all was magic, the sense of her being wrapping love around everything she was connected with quickly brings my surrender to her and i become part of her world part of her love and i am complete.this morning still un brought unbegun still some mystical space between the night and the light, i begin my process the hawaiian process to eliminate the stored memories that block the experience of the divine, 12 steps of repentance, responsibility, acceptance, love and acknowledgement go swiftly and the air is still and warm, but unlike the islands its is supremely dry. then the Mother book is read aloud, the passion of surrender and complete devotion to her and to that aspect of her that my love is mahalakshmi the beauty and balance, harmony and love of the divine manifestation. i give my life to her and to her i will be forever made divine in my own way for she lightens my weary shoulders and brings sweet drink and delicious food when i am in need and to my spirit there is ananda always and light and eternal love.