this morning to the retreat

the truth is i am missing something. the light, the intelligence, the illumination of all things has diminished. I am still in the heart of the force, running the energy without waver or need. i am unattached but not in the divine manner but in the manner of someone unknowing, not feeling, rather than the wide expansive connection to the subtle forces.i have glimpses surely but the powerful train of expansion has slowed to the creaky wagon and some dull oxen enroute to market. the world is no less a pleasure palace and the heavens no less a crucible of divinity reflected above us every day. but in my weary heart here is less magic,and for that i am a wiser man.the contraction is the result of such heady expansion even i was amazed and in wonderment, and with its sudden demise i have nothing to fear, this is the worst that can happen and even that leaves me with the force intact and my ability to be with my self as an agent of the bringing of unliving matter into collaboration with the divine consciousness. today i leave to another retreat this one shorter and i in the center of it feel some prescience that there will be an opening a return to the source even stronger and perhaps new allies in the battle, for surely i am being set upon by the tamasic forces and the asuric masters leaning hard on those that would reveal their plans and promote new ways to experience the divine in our lives. for we are not these shells alone nor are we the attachments to the physical, but rather the very stuff of the angels and demons we know so well in our dreams and nightmares. enjoy the life you have for it is the smallest of the gifts available to you. this world is filled with warriors of the light and every night they do the work that sends the darkness back and allows the light of day.i stand with them and their battles are mine, and in the process many must join and truly the world is a small place but filled with mighty wonders.