truth leaves

i find myself alive in a moment of confusion
restrained from myself by circumstances i expected
but chose to forget
i blame others and myself
but the truth leaves me
and i know my emptiness is real
and cannot even believe
whenever i search i find something
but treat it as chance
not fortune
i take a walk and hear footsteps
and am overtaken with her smell
the delight of her eyes and hair
and suffer the pain i create
what would be the purpose for my fall
from such high places i cannot recall
or even believe it exists anymore
the truth is relatve to the mind that experiences it
only the heart can truly feel
what the reality is
when everything is false