this awakening

who i am
i have been before
and where i am going
i have been there too
but what i am experiencing
in this awakening
is new
and unnerving
for my knowing is fled me
and i choose to not know
for what i am becoming is not shaped by me
or my designs
or even my aspirations
though they keep me focused
when there is no trail
light is my guide and the power of faith
in my gurus and lovers and
my lack of caring for this physical nature
i realized that all the worries about the physical are
gone and all the problems i associate with the physical
are solved through release
and now there is everything as before but everything is changed
for i have the sat in my arteries instead of blood
life force instead of living tissue
when i hurt it is my being speaking
when i bliss it is my kundalini awakening
the life is restructured and the remnants
are like underwear with holes
seen only by myself when i undress
my work is changed as i am truly not in it but only here
my friends are looking hard and what they see
is themselves without the illusions
about their meaning in life
we are all on the journey and
i only see my fellow pilgrims
all to the mecca we choose
there is no direction
but within