loves inspiration

Sunday, February 21, 2010


i look at the world and it looks back. waiting. i have so much responsibility for so many i dont understand and somehow it is right. my life has been service and selfishness intertwined, bexause i do so much for others its alright to do somethings just for me. but what i really want is the love i felt each moment with you. its not about the spiritual experiences although they were part of it. it was that perfect love you always gave me. now i have nothing like that and its not something i can find anywhere else. it never fails to amaze me what we experienced. i think it must only happen once in many lifetimes, it makes every other experience in my life pale by comparison. you brought me such joy. please understand that the pain is necessary to balance my experience. nature will only let things get so far out of the norm before she sets things in motion to bring the experience back in line. you carry a power to undo all the careful work of prakriti, i was carried out of my compartments, thank you, and into pure experience. now i experience the opposite nature, my selfishness and responsibility. one day this too will swing over to the love and spiritual side and my wings will grow back. meanwhile i look at the world and it looks back waiting for me to make the next move. watching to play the next chess piece to take me to or from what my destiny surely is, love always and forever for every beautiful being that glows with golden light under the veils we wrap ourselves in. Just the act of writing to you makes me feel close to you. i wish you would describe to me what its like for you over there. it would make a beautiful story. i hold you in my arms one more time and you smile evaporating my pain completely. i am filled with love in that perfect instant eternally, for i can always go there and its alive in another dimension beyond time, beyond movement, beyond boundaries. I love you as the tree loves the birds that come and live and grow and leave in its stationary life, and i imagine that my branches are wings and we fly away together and then i sleep through the long winter with dreams of spring and reunion.

shanti my love

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