loves inspiration

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Re: about me

Now don't nag. I am a big boy just not having much fun. Sure I hate my job and am in constant pain, but you know what thats like. i've been writing. see attached. You will be in the story soon along with all our poems I hope. Maybe you can help me fill in some of the parts that seem like a forgotten dream from your journals.Its all about love. I know what you mean about feeling joy. I have always relied on myself to find something to keep my self connected to happiness. I think its going to have to be this story for now. I am disconnected from my practice. and i cant even fake it till i make it. The real deal will have to come like a lotus blossom opens to the light. I am fullfilling, just barely, my ordained duties. I am spending time with the family and we are finally creating my meditation room. I feel that it is not a good time to be away any more, i only came home for 4 days over the 6 weeks in sept and Oct. Scot is kinda spacey and george is constantly calling really caring. gotta love him. I will go up in a couple of weeks. George has kali and dan over everyday chanting and meditating. I am just confused about myself and my work. This life is definitely getting real and i'm stuck doing the work. Somewhere is the escape pod, i just havent found the strength to pull the switch. Well enjoy your stay with Bagawan and you must love India, my little friend from Punjabi. Much love and thanks for the e-mail, it really feels good to hear from you.

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