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Monday, May 31, 2010

the emptiness

the dawn is hours yet to be and the night is truly in its revelry.where the moon is high and the clouds low, the air simmers with reflected glow and the world is empty and quiet. why are we come to this moment alone unworthy, filled with portents of failure and reduction. what is the purpose of this travesty of meaning and design. the human is frail and works unwillingly at redemption. the tasks too huge and the reasons muddled with spent energies and time that never ceases, the trail to the end is still hidden for the lonely traveler and the GPS is pointing in a million different directions.the hand grasps the only thing it can find and the touch is skin deep. where we are now is not the place we expected. the rooting and searching and mindless movement have steered a course unlike our plan or proposals. somewhere the stars give out and the sea looks like water without end and the land is a desert of possibilities all empty and powerless.there is no savior for this moment, he is passed and the next has refused his crown and we are left leaderless, hopeless, unloved for the most of our lives.until the truth is accepted, the last chance denied and the way blocked without means of any passage. until then we are the engine of karma and misery for we play as children with weapons of personal destruction expecting the same tired ideas to yield new fruit new truths new purpose.
its the end of the road and the foods gone and the water is filled with salt. theres only enough time to say a few prayers, write a note for who and be done. the rest is all up to someone else, not ourselves, some force of unknown origin and we finally say the word and really understand it,god. the last refuge of the atheists the first name on the list of new people i want to meet.for a second i almost feel something before the the lights go out and the music stops. theres no one there, no family, no friends, no drugs or booze or entertainment to make it go away. the life you knew is over and the time to understand that is already passed. i wiggle my way to the edge of the cliff and prepare a defense for my failures and realize its not necessary, cause theres no body even looking. what was i so afraid of, what made me such a jerk, why did i have to feel like i couldnt do what i wanted. what is really going on and the light fades and the darkness comes.

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