soul in communion

I am in another order of feeling of body and spirit connection awareness
all the chakras in the face have been under intense vibrational energy
eyes sinus mouth tongue jaw
the force is deep in them
i am in direct alignment with the force and have no illusions of its source or what is needed
every molecule of what i have gone though has been just that
Siddhartha is my catalyst for he as he always does succeeds in his quest through dint of unfailing effort
and i wait patiently for him to return and i am supremely prepared for the instantaneous transmission
psychically i have been having this experience for years and have been to the wall of the SAT without a name or description for it has never had one
in the midst of life and filling plenty i have been empty and unconnected for years
even as my love and i were touching the moment of infinite love i was done
opened to the emptiness awaiting
now i have the means to call the dark matter to me and i to it
my disease has been serving the same purpose
to separate me from attachments
to every part of my self and living entities
as i let go of my attachments my disease is under control
the retreat served to sever all my deep seated human habits and with them the action of my body
it ceased to react
the liver stopped fighting
i feel the center of me falling into the unending emptiness
and the force follows me down
something in the despair has ended my human attachments and has severed all things from me
i find no joy in the human actions
no pull to the world of relationships or activities
only unceasing awareness and the ananda of the soul in communion with the infinite unknown
this is the deepest i have ever gone
and there is no bottom
it is just what is and its is being uncovered under the stuff that is gone
and i dont realize until i go into meditation that what used to be there is disappeared
it is like walking it unfolds in the moment but the surroundings have always been there
just so this connection is unfolding
and i with it
however it is done it is unerring in any way i do it
for i do not aim but just release
there is no fear and every direction is the same
surrender is already done
the jump is complete the parachute did not open
the world is falling away from me
the unnatural action of gravity is reversed