soul expiring

loves inspiration is gone
even the least of my exertions tires my soul
the world is wrapped in my exclusions
i seek the shore of denial and recede from the tide of withdrawal
all my limitations exceed my expectations
the path i came from is all thats left
to the west is excessive indifference
to the east rituals unending repetition
the air is smothering
i feel nothing but the lack of touch
the absence of desire
the retiring soul expiring
the very earth moves away from the soles my feet
where i go others disperse
and where i come there is no one
the sky seems full and the earth empty
if anger were the answer i would fail the test
even love is none of the above
where is the truth when the heart sits empty
where is the meaning when nothing matters
for it is not the opposite but the emptiness
the unfillable sieve of labor and death

upcoming passage

past writings seem so expansive
so full of what i am so rich with the very meaning of why i exist
and then there is now
the morning after morning aware but not sleeping
alive but not feeling
is there something missing or am i on schedule
it seems the upcoming passage is reaching back in time to now
to make preparations, make small changes in my approach
and retreat
where there was a place to go now there is only here and now
and its a wall and its green and there are few things that distinguish it from any other moment
but i am alive without all the trappings
the expectation the hope the feelings that are the brushstrokes of awareness's sisters
consciousness is relaying the signal
it has no attachment to my ideas of time or space so it evolves from sources displaced
the future is already here and what has happened is changing with it
i remember who i will be and forget the feeling that i have been as the poles of past and yet to be converge and infiltrate this moment
empty i reach where there is my bag filled and grasp at the wisps of tomorrows memories

sins of the body

my love my love my love
what is this insanity called a body
the blood and tissue of our being
for you it has been trying to be loved as much as you love
everything is upside down the pain the suffering as you destroy your self even as you love more
your body the part of you that is not perfect not made of spirit and love is destroying itself to protect you
for all the love you gave your body was the traitor
now after all these years it has names, diseases, auto immune some how making it more real more irrevocable
but i see only love where there is pain only your hearts intention where there is unintended acts of penance
for the body is the spirit made flesh, the very mold of your being come to light and matter
your spirit is suffering as is your body for sins of others visited upon you
and taken on out of love
here there is the truth of your sacrifice
for your love is so strong you would be the one to make others innocent while you feel their punishment
yes you need to love yourself for all you have taken on in this life and from the past lives where you also felt this
your not guilty of anything but love and all its failings
to love too much too long and without measure
love abandoned and love renewed love for the unloved and the callous love for everyone but yourself where there is still doubt
and words dont make a lie and lies are never wrong for they are the truth to those who can feel their pain
and this lie is true
you love others more than yourself
and this has been the manifestation of their feelings returned
and you have accepted this
into your body and your being
and it was never yours but theirs in you that your body is trying to destroy
and in your own heart the doubts and fears and anxieties are mine also, for i too have felt them and you have them as your own
and i take them back everyone of them
every doubt, every feeling of my shortfall being yours
every lack of love coming from myself and my heart
i take back my energies that i have projected on you and you have given only more love in return
for you would love me such that i am your self when you are so much more and that is why i am so unworthy to give you any of my lower feelings or pain for they become yours in the instant i create them
and this is with someone who only wants love only wants to give love and i know there is a price for your affection and affliction
for every soul you have brought into your aura there has been a price for you and one you have taken on since birth for this is not just this life but many
my sweet saint and adored lover my mother and beautiful child
all these you are to so many and they know you take the karma on yourself and do not send back blame or pain for their sins
so you die inside piece by piece in perfect sacrifice and loving pain for all for every loved one of us who can only love you back in our imperfect ways
forgive us our sins and help us forgive others
amen

brothers of the winds

psychicsense: and you would be thinking of your life as the reason to love or to be lost even as we move further from union with that which we are eternally
thoughts: Good morning
psychicsense: writing and evolving in the dark passage of day yet to come
just posting as you wrote this morning
fine
amazing really
last night was the first i slept in a week
i have been desperately burning the karmas of past lives
preparing for my coming retreat
thoughts: that's great....i got that in your blog
psychicsense: it never stops now
thoughts: i've been having trouble with sleep for the past two weeks
psychicsense: as you connect to me so are you affected
thoughts: waking up almost every night completely drenched in sweat but i cant remember the dreams
i know it's some type of clearing
psychicsense: if you read and feel what i write then it will infect you at a subtle level
thoughts: your words are written as if they are for me personally
psychicsense: it creates connections to your psychic senses
thoughts: i am moved by each word
psychicsense: wonderful
then more will come
i have left all hope of being alive without the blazing energy i feel
thoughts: i'm learning just how powerful my ego can be to distort truth and reality
psychicsense: some point rational being is dissolved
yes you have thought to thank for that
all thought is ego
we are created in its image
but when the rational is tamed it can be transformed into a tool
but abandon all hope yee who would be free
for death is no mystery
and no rewards are due thee
what you bring you take all else is illusion
what i write becomes less a story of me and more everyones journey
thoughts: we are all one and the same
psychicsense: yet i am not gone or diminished
but secured in the cosmic awareness pervading all
the union we come from and return to is what we seek here on earth
in every heart is that waiting desire
expressed eternally in every song and thought
we search for it want it have it lose suffer for it it is all
but to know it from the universal is to become undone and one and yet somehow still immersed
the feelings never end the joy extreme and the pain perfected
for what is human life exalted but unending ecstasy
the transformation of the eternal to the particular
the explosion of the finite form being captured from the infinite
and hunger for that return
make no mistake this is the prison of the soul and its undying hope of liberation
what we hold in our hands is to us meaningless yet it is the heart of the meaning of existence
for that sense of holding is our experience of self reconnecting to the source in every atom of existence
and our consciousness races to the union with the consciousness of every infinite emptiness and matter created for our amusement
and we experience that which is infinite understanding from the experience that cannot be described
we are that
and the pull to know that to be that to have that is our fate
thoughts: should i be concerned with what's happening to me physically? any natural herbs or other supplements required?
psychicsense: meditation and exercise with a healthy diet are what is needed
thoughts: i've just read something about colloidal gold and silver .... echinacea, goldenseal etc.
psychicsense: i take echinacea and vitamin c every day
and vitamin b complex
for the stress wears down your immune system and depletes you
as summer has already returned here new viruses are coming and soon they will invade everyone
so be prepared to strengthen your immune system and meditate everyday
thoughts: http://www.alchemistsworkshop.com/
psychicsense: i am every day in the meditation room as soon as work is done
thoughts: i will start doing that also
psychicsense: do not put metals into your body
thoughts: no benefits at all?
psychicsense: you attract energies
that are in the metals
wearing them has similar effects
thoughts: ok
psychicsense: the metals that have existed in the earth since the eruption of the sun are conciousness of a different order
we are not similar but can call on them for energies that compel the forces of nature
for they are the properties of the earths body born from the incredible birth of the sun
and they are brothers of the winds and rains and lightening
as men ingest these forces they too lose their human soul and become at the will of these energies
thoughts: interesting...one "healer" said to imagine golden energy coming thru crown and silver energy coming in thru root during meditation
psychicsense: that is correct
for these are the light wave vibrations not the minerals
these colors are expressions of higher vibrations
not the solids
the silver color is the earth energy the vibration of the life energy that unites all living forces on earth
the golden cosmic is the saturation of the universe compressed into human awareness
both are extremely powerful
and when mixed together they allow our being in a body to fully realize his consciousness on the physical and higher cosmic planes of existence
thoughts: i have always hated being in the sun...but for some reason I can feel it's energy coming in the last two days....feel drawn to being outside all the time
i can feel the warmth flowing thru me
psychicsense: good that is your receptors opening to new energy sources
you will find less reliance on food and chemicals
and more on ethereal sources of energy
you will in fact create your own energy and not rely on what you have all your life
thoughts: will the physical body suffer?
psychicsense: no only experience drops as you feel less connected
you still must eat
but it wont be an addiction
it will be to please the body
thoughts: i understand that...no desire to eat
psychicsense: when hungry do
when not be peaceful
thoughts: had an interesting past life experience during meditation a couple of weeks ago
psychicsense: your life is the arc of all creation becoming known becoming accepted and becoming alive for you
yes
thoughts: i was in a prison about to be executed for practicing magic....this was in Merlin's timeframe
psychicsense: yes consecrated man
where the religion treats you to its practice
where were you
could you tell
thoughts: somewhere in england....king arthur's time
psychicsense: the enlightenment that was only for the wealthy
all else pulled drayage by oxen to the masters holdings
thoughts: the last few "trips" have been very difficult to remember
i dont know if it's because i've gone very deep into subconscious
psychicsense: best to know that the past life experiences in your awareness are there to help you understand something that is coming up in your space now
thoughts: i'm getting the feeling that i dont need to know what's happened in order to release or clear
but it's the rational mind that needs to "understand"
is this required?
psychicsense: the feeling of being persecuted and not understood
that is coming up
and you have emotions tied to that from your past life experience
thoughts: so what's required to clear that?
psychicsense: so it is an opportunity to say hello to that and let them drain out of your current consciousness's
thoughts: is it awareness that it happened?
at a conscious level?
psychicsense: its is your higher self sending you signals to help you make sense of the emotions that are getting in your way today
for we feel inordinate emotions for small things in our current space
thoughts: this is where i get confused....when and where to turn the mind off
psychicsense: and its good to see that is not because of a comment someone made that we have these emotions
it is these indelible experiences that are imprinted on your souls record
you have to let the mind go
let it have its jabber and freak outs but watch it wind down
thoughts: but how do we "make sense of the emotions" while letting the mind go?
psychicsense: when you meditate the more you concentrate on the mind the more it holds you
you need to sink into the center of the brain and drop out of the area behind the forehead
then let go and watch its activity without thinking or reacting to the thoughts
there is a space in the very center of the head
thoughts: i get that part....i dont understand how you make sense of something without analysis
psychicsense: and you need to reside there to escape the minds tyranny
our intuition is perfect
the mind is not
as my spelling attests
thoughts: are you saying all we need to do is observe the thoughts and the analysis will happen on its own instead of making it happen with the mind
psychicsense: it is the intuition that is instantly connected to everything around us without thoughts trying to figure out how or why
when the athlete is in the zone they perform perfectly
there are no thoughts there
when the connection is unthought there is no separation
you want the connection not the diagnosis
thoughts: i got it
psychicsense: accept what is without trying to make it into something
thoughts: lost track of time....have to run
psychicsense: when we think about something we change it
just as described in the uncertainty principle
when a phenomenon is measured its state changes
so we do not know what its real state is by measurement
thoughts: lol...as well as the "observation" of the phenomenon
you cannot "see" a particle of light without changing it
psychicsense: we are nuclear physicists performing quantum mechanics on the universe
be aware that our touching the fabric of energy creates matter
thoughts: einstein really knew what it was all about
psychicsense: density
einstein was on to something
if you read that then you know
we create from our true nature that which is intrinsically perfect for our existence
and we have many opportunities to bring out the soul into our lives
no one is anywhere but exactly where they belong
nothing is wrong and nothing will ever be a mistake
everything exists perfectly in every instant of existence
and all our consciousness is creating this
for we are not the bodies we perceive in our physical selves
but collections of powerful energies loosed upon the universe of energy and flow
both exist intertwined and forever one
thoughts: have to run, late for a 2 hour yoga workshop....will really get the juices flowing today
psychicsense: go
have a rich experience
thoughts: thanks again for your wisdom and light
psychicsense: your psychic is primed for this

love erupts

the graceless passage of this life
its complicated reactions and strongholds of fear
where is the movement we realize is coming
the emptiness seems to be the closest to our meaning
the fullness is waiting waiting for our reasons to end
when love erupts we simply move
there is no thought except that we cant understand
every cell yearns and burns as if we were fire inside
and there is no time but the distance to our desire
we find peace in the arms of love but nowhere else
yet the rest of our lives become meaningless and yet so full of purpose
as we move everything to know ourselves anew with love
is there meaning to our insatiable hunger for more love
we know there cannot be more or we surely would end
happy for once to die and yet never wanting seems absurd
when so much is offered
and are we really questioning what it means when all meaning is lost
or can we let this too go from our misguided lives
for the passage of love is the passage to loves realization
that life is the experience of union
the same union we have come from
and will return to
all else is waiting

emptiness crushed

my animals are come and they comfort me early before anyone else is awake
the night air still freshens the kitchen and the lights simple and bare
create shadows on my keyboard where i tap impatiently
the words are from my heart they sit with little choice
i am delivered to them not they to me
and what i write is about the life i wondered would ever come
many years i felt the pull and the reasons and the magical moments
but always there were huge experiences that taught me never to think its done
there is a miracle coming
i find my one truth in being myself
which means to never be just me but my higher nature a meditative
unborn master seeking a passage into this form
where there is the human nature i am lost and rightfully so
not understanding the world or the body or other bodies in some instinctual way i clumsily operate and navigate
like some drunken sailor on shore leave finding the first girl he sees and making my way to the carnival
but when it stops and there is a moments reflection i imagine the universe i remember
the unending nuclear entities and the emptiness crushed by forces unleashed and thrown across galaxies where there are incredible powers holding and shaping every unimaginable speck you can see into the forms of universes spun from light and each a fingerprint of a divine soul
we are small creatures on the soil of a planet distant and what we experience is only the tiniest fraction of what there is
yet we are the masters the total well of knowledge and experience
our small lives touch each other
and each of us is the opening
the gateway to the very heart of all creations mystery
and when we touch there
we are god and man and perfect completion of
why the universe came to be

resistance

the passion is for experiencing the sensations
whether real or imagined its the thrill of being physical
the sense of resistance
we try to go fast, why, is the threat of resistance overwhelming
where everything tries to slow you down and stop you
you see obstacles
i see a slow wall of energy in an opposite trajectory
and i turn it around like a toy
for the world is not the bodies and collisions we see all day but the physical representation of the energies loose in this universe converging here due to the inevitable law
anything that can happen can happen slower
when we are happy time disappears
we feel only unconscious rhythm and flow
we connect to the universal energy and go
unimpeded to the beat and the moment
for if happiness is denied then we are sad,
time seems overwhelming energy empty
we meet resistance to happiness we are beset with emotions
so it is the resistance that sets off emotions
the lack of resistance sends off the fewest emotions
so people that accept what is seem stoic and inscrutable
but they are just saving energy moving in the direction of least resistance
we who rant and scream at the forces that offend us
we are beset with resistance
so look at your life as the response to force
resistance or flowing

creatures unknown

the taste of reality is a sweet elixir a sharp cup of go juice to the soul
where i wake up is the same and where i lay down is the same but in between its a crazy thing
i was in a saloon and there was this woman at the bar and we went down the dirt street to her room and there she took me into the back and pulled a gun. i remember she tied me up threatened me. it went on for hours and there was supposed to be someone come to end this but they never came and she started stabbing me and my chest was exploding, then i woke to my dim lited digital and saw i had been asleep for 2 hours wrapped in sweaty sheets and hot blankets
i knew this was going to be like all the rest
a work night
overtime in the dimensional time clock
your alive 24 hrs a day so you process for 24 hrs a day
then its the salesmen with bland demeanor and chewing gum
and the sunday worship in some southern town before the civil war
where the slaves are dancing in the fields and the corn pone is hot and covered with honey
and i am beaten with sticks for my sins and held upside down in a puddle of water
creatures unknown to me have reasons to meet with me and they are filled with lights
i tremble with fear and the craft they employ is silver
and then i am transported and the sky is not there anymore and only a glow lights the wide empty square without color but the feeling is enormous, and the air is missing with any smell just the thrum of the feelings
and there is the promised land without any question for is not fear abolished and the day turned into empty wishes
where are we now and what fear remains to carry your sins
for every pulsing thought is the signature writ wide upon my undying soul
and as i sleep they come for their due and their trade
and i would barter all night with the devil to have them put and done

lovers eyes

and where my heart would go there is my path
the road to the end of my days but not my meaning or purpose
for in my heart there is the doorway to my soul and to the soul of every atom of existence
for it is not just the living that live or the breathing that enjoy life
but every thing that we see or touch or feel or imagine is imbued with consciousness
which connects to every bit of consciousness throughout all existence
when you look into your lovers eyes to see into that well of love of existence of connected being emerging
there is the shine of our existence the meaning of our coming together
here now in this world in this galaxy in this universe of possibilities
we have arrived and are finding what that means not in the sense of a location or a body or a time
but to our awareness that we are come to understand as our realization that we have a purpose a soul we share and it is that which our heart knows and brings us to find in every heart we look for
why do we need love, need communion, need intimate sharing to exist
so we can know god in our hearts
in our doorway to our souls we are offered a chance to become lovers where there were none before

experiences unremembered

when the memories of victories fade and the wealth of the plunder is at an end where does the feeling of emptiness begin
in the heart or the lung or the stomach ripe with disease
is every thought tinged with loss and anger for the end of madness overtaking and pure adrenaline thrills
the wars go ever on but warriors fade and die unspectacular accidents in their own productions
in this life i choose not to fight the battles that my masters deem required
i set away and wrote the stories that you read with ever fervent gaze
there is no other way to say this but i know i have done the battle a thousand times and died as many deaths for glory or for ignoble defeat
yet i am not changed or diminished by these
rather i am the proof of the victory of spirit and unchanging being come once more
in every life are the moments to make choices and to bring either new love or not
we create a world made of these moments and they become our souls manuscript
like the metadata of our experience stored eternally for our return
there is a manuscript being written for every soul a record of the loves and spiritual experiences that have deeply communicated the real expression of the being
in one life a soul may have found incredible union with another and that will be forever written and returned
and too man will express his greatest feelings that define his entire life and this will be recorded and resturned
and in this recorded history will be the moments when the soul was supreme over the things and functions humans fill thier lives with
and each life will be created from the history written
the lessons to be learned the love to be created and the souls to share with
so its the disturbing coincidence that peoeple feel they have known someone before or have a deep feeling for someone from seemingly out of nowhere, the feeling of past experiences unremembered
and the sudden realizations and life changing choices, those are brought with the beings return and programmed for this souls development
and what does it all mean
the work and the play and the life partners and the soulmates found and lost
where do we realize our path is set for us and the peoeple we need to share with are waiting
when the time comes there will be a realization that our lives have no meaning and that we have missed our way somehow, though its impossible to say what it is
but its real and it pushes us to look outside our comfort zone for meaning and experience that is somehow missing
to be alive to feel real feelings created from our own hearts
thats is the source of life
that is the love we create and the wicked passion that can create us
eaither way we step onto a path from which we cannot deviate and become
some new creation of ourselves
some increased sense of soul spirit and communion for our time here on this planet
and we write to the metadata of our being so that this will be noted and recalled and endure long past this too fragile flesh

scrivner's folly

reader: rise and shine
scrivner: my effervescent one
reader: how are You?
scrivner: i have risen and am in dire need of shining
reader: did you sleep well?
scrivner: but nothing stops the juggernaught of writing
scrivner: no not at all
scrivner: i am beset with wearisome notions and desires of the feckless postulates of my soul
scrivner: red eyed and worn
reader: ahhh
reader: I am just reading the 3 posts
scrivner: for what is damme muse but a horned demon astride a dragon of possiblities
scrivner: boom boom boom
scrivner: i am writ and must writ again
reader: you are healing the whole earth with your words... you are going through all for the whole humanity
reader: I can feel it
reader: taken the burden of the whole
scrivner: would that be more than just myself i would be praised indeed
scrivner: but nay the whole is just a fantasy of smoke and mirrors reflecting everything
reader: no no
reader: it is reality
scrivner: we are not undone or lost or saved but the value we would place is the sum of what we truly are
reader: yes
reader: everything is real
reader: Love is real
reader: everything you feel and see is real
scrivner: our hearts the heart of mans aspirations brought to earth and flowing with mans terrible purpose
scrivner: so you like my words as they flow from my broken fingers
reader: only thing is that we don't go through only our experience when one reaches this state but experiences of everyone
scrivner: i am passed lives of purpose and meaning and am now creating my own
reader: yesss... very much
reader: am reading
scrivner: for in my dreams i am floundering in madness and released from all need of mans complaint
reader: I feel pain in the last writings
scrivner: where beats the maddening drums of reason
scrivner: and pain is the sensation of awareness finding truth
scrivner: hidden beneath the soil of his ancestors worship
scrivner: i defy the laws of mans destitute passions and release my passages to the crawling and the bound
scrivner: we are surely destinies orphanns as we reach for invisible rewards for works that fail to complete
scrivner: let this be my empty requium for the soul where every bitten creature lives within
scrivner: for i am made whole through my own horrors and find pleasure in their viewing
reader: still reading ourselves multiplied
reader: now reading "limited divinity"
scrivner: new post
scrivner: scivner's folly
scrivner: hehehe
reader: i go to dictionary.com constantly
scrivner: hahahaa
scrivner: a learning experience
reader: don't forget I was brought up in India
scrivner: and what words give thee this troublesome need
scrivner: in india is the compassion for understanding less than feeling more
reader: sometimes I wonder if they are mispelled
reader: but when I look them up... they are there, existing
scrivner: sometime perchance
scrivner: i would read from the dictionary of the deranged and find the words of madness for thee
scrivner: for only when we forget our lexicon can we find the words that express this passions tome
scrivner: i was borne to the language of my hearts expresssion before i was taught the letters of my empire
scrivner: but in our love i was struck dumb and blind and have yet to completely understand the magical lilt of words loves fancies
scrivner: and now you would leave me unanswered and impatient for thy response?
scrivner: what manner of beast i have been saddled to that would march on while i am stuck in the deepest rut of meandering expectations
reader: I have tears flowing
scrivner: ahhh love
reader: my heart is wide open
scrivner: that is words enough from thee
scrivner: i too can erase what would be
reader: You are going through all this, my heart and Soul are traveling with Thee from weeks touching the infinite space and Loving all that has been created and I sit in Awe absorbing the Mighty Divine Love Making
scrivner: and send whatever else remains
reader: everything is becoming still
reader: yet in this stillness is the Mighty Vibration that comes like a tornado and takes us with it
reader: and we are swept away
reader: gone
scrivner: i wish you my grandest explanation for the state of my decanted recitations of milton and blake and goethe
scrivner: but i am undone with that and left to my own inventions of paradise tossed and empires rejected
scrivner: your heart is moved by my words and that comes to be what i am feeling is true
reader: yes
scrivner: for what are words but the realization of our own power to manifest anything anytime anywhere for anyone
scrivner: and what of limited divinity
scrivner: was that fun for you?
reader: yes
reader: hehehe
reader: i stopped in the middle and then to go back and read the whole thing again with the flow
reader: had to go back
scrivner: good
scrivner: for if one glance were enough then i have not made myself clear
reader: I feel all the layers of your experiences
scrivner: and that is the real intangible
scrivner: the feeling of deeper meanings and forces at play
scrivner: how to make that part of the words without writing it out
scrivner: leaving everything to the readers imagination
scrivner: pray tell the religion works without this triumph of the bastard son of man perched atop a crucifix of gold
scrivner: where in this sentence is there meaning
scrivner: how can there be deciphered the true direction of the images
scrivner: how many lines are writ in the unwinding of this coil
scrivner: and yet is simply the words i choose in my madness
scrivner: like a color slapped on canvas and what is not wrought means that much more
scrivner: for business is found hungry for thy pence and the little you choose is the rest of her purse emptied
scrivner: pray quell this rabbles mouth and stuff thy sock in a barrel of vinegar for their troubles
reader: here is another post
scrivner: it has grown with our loving conversations length
scrivner: pray refresh and repast
scrivner: for here are we in light of our discerning wariness for lifes sudden risings
reader: I love the picture on your posting site
reader: Loves inspiration
reader: I can stare at it for hours
scrivner: yes i am never tired of you
reader: its Love
scrivner: its mine heart resplendent with realization and a weariness that fulfills love
scrivner: for in thy beauty is a timeless source of true understanding of this lifes meaning
scrivner: thank you for that perfection
scrivner: and of course
scrivner: thank the photographer
reader: hehehe
reader: yes
scrivner: for that is a moment that he shares as are my words everymans bounty
reader: there is perfect perfection in the picture
reader: each thing
scrivner: and i see it as well
scrivner: and chose it for that reasons meaning
scrivner: i can never go past that image and not be found in your closed gaze
scrivner: hold soft thy adoring face and rest thine eyes from perfections form surrounding thee
scrivner: thy thine thee
scrivner: all seem so perfect when i speak of you
scrivner: for you are thee divine meaning of my hearts aspiration
scrivner: today i am lost in my foundling journey to understanding what gifts man has bestowed on the leavings of our passage
scrivner: for we travel and go beyond yet never looking back to find if there is a wake of love expanding
scrivner: the next soul and the next as we push our wearisome way through the regimen of social chemistry

limited divinity

the beings of Betelgeuse command this galaxy and we are the fielded peasants of their realm
where we would plow they choose our fortune and allow our petty victories
for the worth of what we do for them is to enjoy our empty passions and our frightful sure demise
for the eyeless beings without bodies are here everywhere in every moment we experience
they are counting our emotions our thoughts our defeats and losses
they calculate the time it takes to move from fury to despair
and the arc of ecstasy and hope
where we would be alone they fill the airless dimensions surrounding our every molecule
where we are searching through space they have lived for time unmeasured
our loftiest aspirations are their toenail clippings and while we have yet to understand the world they are the philosophers of cosmic awarenesses
to us they are invisible
to them we are the avatars of limited divinity come to play at wholly undivine games
they seek to know where we come from and where we go for them death is unknowable and birth never existed
what is so short and so lost and full of meaningless purpose fascinates them and is the only mystery that remains
for we come from an unknown source and flee where they cannot follow
so we are their amusements and research animals untouched but not protected watched but never directed
we are their only diversion for the universe is conquered except for this world this playground of the unknown children of some instantiated entity fallen from grace and hidden in some unfathomable dimension

ourselves multiplied

i am rung with the bell of my existence
the world flows through my incessant vibration
that which is known is done
that which i would want is gone
that which is mine i relinquish to all
for the passages to the end of knowing are short
days sometimes minutes
but in them we are forever gone
so in this short period of clarity and sweet respite
i send these messages to the dear ones and the brave
the thoughts we have of what we know of death are not able to stop its swift coming
nor will they be of any use in understanding its ascension when we are taken
the body and the mind cease as the spirit is recycled
and there is no more of who we are or wanted or thought
that becomes undone and we are alone without end
for what is life but communion and sacrament of friendship
why is life but to experience another living breathing other like i am
for in that connection we are made whole again and live in the delerious joy of being recognized and welcomed
we look into the others deep gaze and see our own self remade and returned
the hall of mirrors expands and we step down corridors of ourselves multiplied beyond infinity and know this too we are become
for there is no end to the tricks and games we play to forget the
unending
loneliness
we have become in waking from deathless sleep into
dreaming anothers grace upon us
where none has been before
the moment of awareness of self
singular and unchanging
divine or denied
neither matters for there is none to dispute what is our awareness
and the one that is the one is not amused
but is complete and without matter
no waking or desire can be
nor emptiness or fulfillment await
what diversion can exist where nothing has been created
what ascension or decline where nothing moves
what surprise or fear when everything is unknown
we are one and undone before beginning
and what we have become is the fools paradise
the moments forgetting where we came from and where we are returned and in that we are saved for this day for this wonderful life
our happy human family of seperations and meetings
holding and coming apart as if somehow we are different
somehow changed in the midst of living we are blessed with out knowing
there is no one to look to for understanding because the reason is the matter we understand without needing to be told
there is time and space for us to have our lives and that is enough for in the end
there is none

bottoming source

the pain of waking from sleep not slept
to the everyday world from the dreams of everyday dreams
i am beset with actions responsibilities pain for my decisions
where is there a moments relief
not from my love who shirks me
not from my children who wander
not from my wife who despises what i have done
i look within and the cauldron of my soul boils unending and with fever
i am wholly made of cloth and the sticks of mens frailties
am i cast into molds of others and hardened on the rocks of despair yet again
i love and there is a chasm i ask and there is not even an echo
i cry and there is rain everywhere i go
what manner of beast is come from the south
following seas and blowing horns of coming armies of the delivered
and west to the end of mans kingly reign
the east is filled with the menace of awareness and lost mastery
only the north remains cold and filled with lights unknown
where is there a deep hole or empty place in the sky where light can follow
the simple arithmetic calculates the hearts passage and even now
the cup is less full than before
the life is draining into the bottomless well
and souls divine and profane pump from its bottoming source
i wash my ankles in blood and step through the doorways of my ancient masters
there are no stars and familiarity is gone
where there were faces now there are long openings into shadows that should be lit
i force my way through walls of treasure and circumstances of design
and wait at the end of the tunnel where vanity ends
and the emptiness beckons
what was light is now flowing rivers of matters destruction
where passage and movement now there is a sinking feeling in all directions
the curses i utter are gleefully repeated from my mouths set to every side
i stumble forward and go through myself and emerge holding a spleen
i am undone in ways i never knew without matter or function
the passage is filled with eyes and fingers each watching the other remove another organ or tissue as if sampling the very fundamental structure of my existence
what of my thoughts i realize as they too are sucked as if by straws from mouths neatly pursed and drawing
the last memory was for my wasted efforts to make sense of this travesty of judgement
and the knowing that it would not change anything
i evaporate and cling to free falling fear empty of mindless thought
i plunge unknown alone and find there is no other or place i can touch
i am frozen and suddenly unaware
i wait
for a sound
a thought
a thing
not of myself
and never
know
again

consecrated man

if ever love were my first thought and last and the passage between its unaltering course
then this life this singular meaning for what i am creating as my purpose is found and its religion renewed for man in his lifetime
where there was want and desire now full awareness and unending realization of love as the message is come to its fruitful passions, the holy word the very physical and human sacrifice and the offering to all
we chant in pews lined with satin and kneel on the fabric of living creatures to feel our sundays devotion and drive away in chariots of gold and diamonds
full of our own worthy penance and meaningful communion
but even as the light descends we are brought to the poverty of our existence and left to the progression of our ultimate degeneration for the past is not forgotten and we read the writing on the wall in every household holding minds in locked dominion to the words of the petty masters and holders of the coin
for christ is the savior of the economy and will mete out the punishment to those who would hold back its authority to run mens lives into the book of the dollar and the cents of the holy spirit
be not amused for thou are the demon spawn and rightfully named
when this world was made the land was empty and the savages were without restriction
and you would deny the published creed and fortunate perfomance of gods handiwork through the acts of saved and consecrated man
all darkness is thy work and for pleasure we would bring the demon out of you
with the legs of the passionate and the arms of the devout
you shall be found unnerring in their judgement and in their wisest counsel
when the religion is brought to rest weighted upon you and the fire of hell is expelled then your ranting will turn to repentance and the love of god will appear
and though your labors are many and the flesh is unused to such unending fashions of the soul
there will be purity in the remains and rest for the living in this wicked passage

attachments

we are drawn to it without question
it is our hearts desire
we cannot live without it
we are helpless in its thrall
we are attached
the thing the feeling the action
is addictive
is there a part of me that cannot see this
i think so
as i have said before
our emotional nature molds the shape of our thinking
our thoughts are driven by what we feel
if we feel something is absolutely needed then it becomes invisible
like breathing
or if what we need is something that is absolutely necessary like eating
then it becomes invisible to our thoughts
so it proceeds day to day always there
yet never questioned, not really, not in any sense that would threaten its continuance
we can know this is not the right thing
but we cannot change the action by thought
it is our feelings that have control even if we cant understand what the mechanism or connection is
it is in the vital nature
the uncontrolled nature of the senses
driven by lust and fear
we are dimly aware of what that means in our everyday behaviors
we are beset by desires we do not want to control
what we want when we are confronted with eat, drink, sleep, sex, money, things
what we feel when we get or are denied these
that is the source of discontent, unhappiness and disease
what drives these emotional attachments is where we get trapped
for there are a million feelings we have experienced
and held onto
throughout our lives right up to this moment
and when we have truly life interfering feelings that we cant resolve, we find behaviors
that help us ignore the feelings, that sink into our flesh muscle and bone and become stuck energies
and those behaviors are what we desire are attached to and create new behaviors to support those behaviors
and on and on
so when we see a man in a red jacket
we want to run away
or when there is a sunny morning
we feel like crying
or we eat when we are lonely
what is our attachment but the behaviors we created to avoid feeling
because when we feel it hurts
right down to the child that felt the pain
and we would do anything to keep that pain away
so we have attachments that maintain our separation from our feelings.
and what does that create
less feeling
less love
less connection to what we really are inside
and less able to feel ownership for our being
how do we access these deep rooted feelings, these fears and pains
without the tremendous suffering they contain
first feel love for yourself and the reasons why you protected yourself from the pain
know it was love for yourself that created this
then with this love remember the feeling the image that recalls the feeling
the heart pounding fear that the child experienced
and then back away
think, this is what the child feared
that is not happening now
i am just triggering it because of some image that reminds me of what happened
remember you are not that child now
and then say
i want to bring this feeling into present time
into this moment where i am not threatened and not at risk
and then open the image and let the real reason for the pain come out
you might want to cry or scream
go ahead
be angry
be sad
be yourself now experiencing what a child feared most
be whatever the child would have been if they were bigger and not so vulnerable
and see it for the thing it was, a humiliation, fear of losing love, hatred for an injustice
let it be in the present, now to this grown person
who can understand
and send that frightened child love and forgiveness
for being so strong and for making childish choices
and fill that space where the pain was with unquestioning love and be content for who you have become and this moment where you touched a part of yourself that was lost for so long
then you can go back to doing what you always do and notice
you are not attached to that behavior, now its reduced to a physical habit
now you can begin to stop that action without the attachment preventing you

who we are

and what is man if not his own creation
we are the result of love brought into language beset by conditions we are hardly responsible for
yet we are told to spend our lives trying to change things
to improve our lot on earth
as if just being man means we are responsible
and we have had some reason to think this is our mess just because we are here
but the truth is we dont know where we are or how we got here
we give it a name
reality
we postulate that we were sent or created or were thrust here
into reality
but from where or to what destination
we are uninformed
so we actually think about it
and what is this thinking stuff
we measure the differences between things and study the possible
links between what surrounds us
we are primitive and sophisticated
but no one denies
we are just a meal away from something savage
and this funny thing happens on our way to nowhere
we fall in love
or back into love
because we were born there
flat on our backs unable to do anything for ourselves
we are held and fed and bathed by warm soft murmuring flesh
and we are immersed in love and we are only who we are, without pretending or falsehoods
when we leave the mother we become educated
we become farty school kids and learn about abuse and power
usually the hard way
the path becomes stricken with thoughts of self preservation and wanting
and we take what comes to make mother love continue
even as we move further from ourselves away from who we were to who we think we should be
and spend a lifetime being filled with what we are not
and we forget
we dont know who we are
and start believing what we are told
and become that which we are not
finally
either we die suddenly realizing
we need forgiveness for sins we didnt commit
or we reach a point of stopping the brainwashing
and asking the question
what am i doing this for
who am i
what brought me here
is this a life or a dream i am having
and somewhere we had a moment
when it did seem right
it was love and it was perfect
and there was murmuring flesh and holding
and it ended not so well
and we were left without that feeling and no way to recover it on our own
what is it we really experience in those moments
is there a deeper understanding of who we are through what we experience when we feel this love
we create the chemicals and the feelings and a state of thinking that aligns with self and is supported by another
and in that union there is a special nature
of mutual support and compassion that feeds our need to be loved to be approved
we want to just live there
but we destroy that which gives us peace
how
with our thoughts
but it is through our thoughts that we can overcome this
because just as our thoughts of critical nature separate us from our experience and reduce it to a commodity that we can control
so can those thoughts bring us the realization that we are driving love away by thinking these thoughts
and then you realize that thinking is not the solution
but not thinking is
for when we dont think
we become that which we always are
loving being seeking union
with other loving beings
then when we can achieve that and not have conditions and explanations ruin it
then we can start to create a real life
one based on who we are
one filled with love

image of god

and as i look down at my pasty white thighs
sitting on the toilet
and try to imagine some image of god
i am created in
and realize he must be pretty average himself
to see this form as the image he wants to replicate
i wonder if the reality is we're not his idea
but the offshoot of an idea that
started things rolling a billion or 3 thousand years ago
depending on your historical perspective
the idea of created life
from an idea made into the word which
created the vibration
that set in motion the hamsters wheel
we all run on today
so it must be the higher processes that got
all the glory
the high thinking, visualizing, psychic connecting
cause the rest is sort of basic
like all the animals
we eat, sleep, eliminate and reproduce pretty normally
so i guess its all the stuff we write about that stuff thats pretty special
and every once in a while we get to have a little insight
about our relationship with something
unseen, greater, connected
to some infinite conciousness
and we go nuts for a while
until we can get out of bed
and start all over again tomorrow

make believe

my favorite bumper sticker I'd rather be meditating
its the essence of our existence
doing
not being
i would rather be
always
and never do a thing
the way it works we are bound up in our energy and packaged for this world in a suit of flesh
and we make believe for years
creating elaborate fantasies of time and space and miracles of every description
as we are bombarded with the expected behaviors and thought processes of the survivors
they are full of the fears and the unstable premises of death being the end of everything
or some kind of holy roller coaster of unbelievable chance
which is better but not even close
the kids know
its a play yard for development of the most rudimentary forces
its not supposed to last
we manifest our most wild ideas and then watch the sea wash them away
we feel and want and take and give and become the same like everyone else or die trying
and thats the way it is
the dying and the living are just what we make them out to be
we aren't the experts or the people in charge
just the lunatics in the asylum
let out for the day
kings of hearts parading
and soon to end this masquerade
for we go on to manifest in the supernatural state of beings in the forces beyond light and shadow
past imagining
and into the very fabric
of that which for us
is yet unknown

clear thinking

contained in thinking is the emotional structure
the emotional design creates thoughts
this is the source of most of your thinkings meanings
because you dont just think but intend
you intend a meaning in your thoughts
that is the reason these thoughts are remembered
we dont remember the thoughts that dont fit our emotional design
so we are blind to our own prejudices because they are not in our thoughts but in the way we choose to think our thoughts
i think so i am lost in my emotions
there is no way to rewire this using the mind
you need to get at the root of the emotions
these are the attachments we have
to clan and kin
to pain and lust
we choose what is thought of everything
based on these conditions
where are we if not in our sweet mothers smile and our fathers approval
and did we have a special older friend a mentor that may have seemed cool
then we spend a lifetime attached to these conversations without thinking, who said this anyway
why am i thinking only me has the truth
the real deal
why am i thinking my father created what he has by accident, by being in the field of a force of nature and not from his truly amazing intellect
because thought is not your friend
it wants you to feel that only thought matters
so it creates logic and reason as proof
and you succumb to such precise thinking even if its yours and based on a lot of sweatsock dreams
we trust clear thinking, i mean thinking we cant understand
from politicians and teachers and shop owners and doctors and friend and bosses and we just dont seem to take the time to even listen to ourselves because we really dont think we can think in the same thinking league as these guys
so then why is everything messed up
with all these great thinkers making thought a religion
and speaking of religion,
did i mention that thats the number one thought screwer after sex
hands down, number 2
so you need to do the following

forget everything

not just the big stuff, cause and effect sure but baseball?

there is no little white ball hitting a bat, thats to sell beer

its the giant energy suck from 5 billion viewers connecting into the stream
your brain is fried before you die
in fact before you live
so understand like you feel earthquakes and torrential rain
there is no individual parts, the brain bone is connected to the heart bone is connected to the intuition bone thats connected to some bone i cant even understand but it creates a harmonic that stimulates the pituitary and the pineal and the space in the center of the head resonates and you take the red box of stuff on the shelf
and it feels right
this is what you have to work with
i know its not as sexy as rational thought
but its yours
you've probably been making a lot of bad judgements mixing this feeling with some actual decisions from your thoughts
dont despair, once you stop a lot of your thinking this will actually happen less and less
lets get started
the next time someone approaches you, be thankful , and the next time it seems like you are having a hard time, be grateful, cause its just going to get worse
unless you can start listening to your own voice, and that muscle you call a heart
i have a gut feeling that thinking is telling you i am crazy
but my intuition tells me to believe you'll make it

einstein was on to something

feeling the dance of the senses my elementary particles participating
and the reasons aren't important as whats happening becomes
the shift is minuscule yet everything is in it
the mind centers on the motion of the mechanism for creating thought and sinks into unthought imagining wet consciousness interface to bus hardware and fundamental brain architecture
the load factors and standard industry specs
we conjecture existence but the software is proprietary
how to hack consciousness thats todays subject
extract your mind from what your doing
read off the list your mind is working
start from a
the little number in the cube across the hall
the freakin projects and timelines and resource issues
the bathroom, its in the other building, christ
lunch i mean the bennies suck here
some kinda interim nut job stupid career ending geek idea
and Mothra saves mankind from the imperialist military industial complex riffin with my homies and slytalking my honey
then i guess its the drive
after that im thinkin clairvoyant intuition
followed by a weird feeling about religion
and some kinda worry about ever knowing myself as the divinity unleashed
car payments when will i ever learn
my kids
my animals they at least have some dignity in this world
then its like who said i was wrong about anything really
so i can understand when is the metro going to be here
and the gas prices i dont want to like not mention thats a shame
while im as concerned as the next guy
lets be ridiculous and say i cant run my freaking life on some quasi religious environmental trip
im as cool as the fool with a piece a meat in his mouth and a spear
unlucky doesnt mean im bad
but the fact that im here must mean something
cause thats my deepest fear
its meaningless
the things i do and work for and care about dont mean a freakin thing
i guess thats not too unusual
i mean its not like i wear some girls underwear
wait minute
did i say that
i mean
its not that simple
it was summer and the rats had gotten in the drawers
and then mom came home and then
i cant remember that part
i guess its gone now
if it ever was
i remember the kids before
when we went to the park or played in the backyard
the five of us
it was special
then
after the times got hard to think about
the mornings were a time to not have to look anyone in the face
we never saw her after that
no graveside visitation or even a chance to understand
i havent told anyone how much i really miss her
it wasnt a popular subject
now im rally not impressed with myself
a fourth child obviously outnumbered
the product of a love hate relationship
one that could never adjust
constant conflict
as kids it was a battlefield and we were the grunts
sometimes all the gang, from the streets of east bay
porkpie hats
cigarettes
booze
a lot of food from italy on the huge kitchen table
in front of the picture windows covering walls
full of giant walnut tree black walnuts bigger than a two story home
spent a lot of time hanging out there
lot of springs and falls
summer was camping big sur, the redwoods,the river resorts
until
after we we diminished, we moved there
to some kind of dream some kind of wild scheme that we we the lucky recipients of
guerneville,summer late 1950's
kids with short blue swimsuits and tee shirts wearing the cheapest plastic zapores from japan
living in the sewer river like bugs in a rug
a few bad days every summer throwing up
but magnificent freedom
nobody thought there could be anything to fear in Mayberry town
but the hikes and the amazing deserted resort and beaches full of water slide and swimming and
the FALLS
where the river slows up and the summer dam is in
the falls
a slab of water pouring tons over the temporary woodwall
and the space behind the falls on the tiny concrete step ordered by some designer for the men to stand on as they put the boards into place
there was a separate peace,safe from sight or sound in a tiny space to stand and breathe as the water pours unbelievably next to your head
you could sit for hours listening to the din
then slip into the outpouring and fall feel the tremendous push of the water hammering you down onto the rocks
and you just bounce from the bottom and let the current carry you unscathed
this was a boy becoming a man here
many had slid over these falls and been trapped in the force of the water pushing down
if you stood there and tried to fight it it would push you down and hold you
and you never knew what might be in those rocks, glass nails, cars you never knew what you would hit today
and the wars we fought with rafts and tubes and just crazy rope swings where you would slip and burn your arm on the rope and hit the rocks
what summers
what great places
and at the crack of dawn i would wake, grab a quick drink and then head into the hills, no trails no maps no compass no thought but to explore to see what was there to have that as my experience
because i had already learned it was what you experience that matters, i enjoyed the mind and sci fi and school stuff but my heart was already engaged
when i was 7 i remember the moment
walking on a day between the apartments across from st cornelius and there in that gray urban passthrough courtyard and the hedges that ran along all the outside where i walked
there i experienced perfect synchronicity
perfect sharing in every atom of every interconnected force that was holding everything giving everything life and i was its perfect tiny member as was everything and i knew
this was jesus the divine being expressing his love and being in every iota of everything and i suddenly knew i was part of that forever, not just now
my hold on the sense of time was pretty tenuous then but i think thats when i knew einstein was on to something.

eternities madness

love?
i feel you somewhere in me
i have yet to have my toast or my vitamins
i have only been reading and composing
is there time for a moment of love
a manifest creation that extends our being across hundreds of imaginary miles of separation
for i feel you here in me in my very heart alight
a new child born every time i think i feel you
there she comes to bring my love to the front of my awareness to make only that which is truth real
for all else is another name for what i feel in perfection when our hearts are connected and communicating pure love
as the night adores the sunlight and the sun the desire for the moons dark sister
so am i in your light and shifting satellites
in rings created by eternities madness your are encircled with every notion of love and beauty and grace
and nowhere would this heart be if not in your attraction and feeling the gravity of your existence
all hearts are true in you they are made new and real and love is pouring from every undying moment of our lives
can any moment be more than those we have?
each a perfect reproduction of loves arc in the creation of all existence come to its completion in its mastery of your form becoming loves design
is my thought of you mine or am i receiving grace and divine direction forever to be connected, always found and eternally loved by love herself in you
when i awoke today i was empty, tired alone in my own home full of a million reasons to not be in love and to be loves mistaken attempt
then i began to look through a conversation we had, a million reasons to be lost and found and be true and let truth be in you and me and i knew there was no mistake nor time to resist what has been our destiny through a million trials and successes each as loving as this and each come to be in this moment ours
we love as only two souls can, absolute forgiveness and unending compassion for every thought every action every feeling we can create and identify with
and then pull ourselves back to hold each others hearts with such force and such trust
i never want this to end
i never want to stop telling this story to everyone everywhere
we are done with doing
begun with being what is true what is love what is psychic communion
always i sit and am in divine awareness of your state and long that we can be as connected there as every instant we have shared
love no longer waits but is fully present
sharing what is never missing never empty never done
we bring that which is the unmanifest awakening to its knowing form
what creates loves awareness fulfills all
i have never felt so alive or loving as now and with our hearts in this life there is divine power and human desire to bring this manifestation forward
let what comes be and let our hearts be free of pain
from my soul i reach you and love you as i have always

unmanifest awareness

between everything and what we experience is the limits of our understanding how we process reality, when light falls on the eyes we see, where there is no light we are blind. yet is there nothing but light and all else does not exist. is that which is invisible also true and loving? we find there is nothing before we find there is something, we never find just something without end.does nothing have an end? is that our reality, the end of nothing. the end of not experiencing, not understanding, not loving. where are we when we are here? is this a place or an experience. how do we process this information. we center our awareness in this swirl of sensory information, we add the thoughts and the memories that they conjure in the moment, we separate the physical from the mental from the emotional and then locate the balance of our senses to determine the proper structure of our reality. we choose the space and time location and formulate a nexus of the where and when the body is.this is what we choose for our existence. and where could we be if not here if not this compilation of determinations? how is this different from choosing an alternate set of conditions in the same composition. one where there is first a psychic awareness of the internal landscape. an awareness of billions of interconnected feeling and thoughts and emotions unending consciousness, dislocated from time and space and all energized from a field of unmanifest energy. and from there we swim through what can only be described as a soup of ever manifesting love, a source of unimaginable energy surging through every soul, every heart, every molecular minutia of existence, willing its manifestation and supporting its unending truth, the truth not of physicality but of pure energy transformed through the will, the desire of love to exist in every form imaginable, every possible reflection of that which is not opening to that which can be. and in that split instant of shift from unknowing to total awareness, everything completes. inside that instant before the shadow and light combine and close as the eye of being blinks in its dream of desire, there is the experience we imagine, the soul evolving awareness and seeking to manifest that instants desire in everything imaginable and then to be absorbed, returned, experience merger of the light and the unlight, the known and the unknowable, to become both and the only one in unending completion of all and none. how is this experience less real then the one our hands and feet and eyes tell us. as we stand or sit in perfect time and space, are we any less than the perfect realization of the generation of all existence by the formless unknown. do we not bring the essence of our being to everything we experience and take every intimate touch, every casual thought, every dreams remembrance with us throughout our entire cycle of awareness, and does this not then return from where we came, the source of life, loves existence, which sends us on this journey and then calls us to return, full and human, back to the wash of undifferentiated awareness, not determined by physical boundaries but rather pure unmanifest awareness absorbing all that we had absorbed and feeding it back into the matrix of what is manifests destiny uncreated undetermined until we bring our living awareness alive once more into the moment that the unknowable awaits.

man survives

where wandering takes me
is not the farthest places
but in mine own hearts deepest journey
into love unending
and the passage of melted fire
growing under every yearning
past magic and through tunnels lined
with wondrous murals
painted before man was born
the lights extinguished
the floor descending
the sky beneath me
taken once more
to the ends of found likenesses
and forms from those
i borrowed everything
and nothing left to return
here i dwell neath my supple limitations
for nowhere is loving more
than where there can never be another
kind settlers of the souls
abandon pains reward
and holding steady reins
on wild horsemen brought
with loving hearts come sailing
and every wise minister is waiting
as painted stars point to heavens door
lifting the edge of my caves thin wrapping
i see the end of time
and the earth orange and glowing
through purple skies full of winged men
and snouted creatures riding them
holding bridles tight and saddles worn high.
lights prick the solitude of darkest night
where eyes reflect the lit gas
from the marshes in the valleys floor
and there stands broken
the last vestiges of mans mighty intellect
across a battered door,
the markings of the last writings
of some mad wanderer from yore
exit here riders of the night
and nothing more
for where man goes
he extinguishes
and what is done is lost
and how man survives
is left for the dead
and those following their ancestral paths
are soon lost to mortal ken
inside the mind
is the end of thought
the end of time
and the last feeling
that can ever be
love me one last time

held promised

pray tend me your heart
and let this flesh come apart
for your eyes
divide the hemisphesres
and the areas of my soul
where thinking
becomes light
speeding to the truth
of every memory and scent
imagined moments and feelings
being lifted to the flow
manifesting everything
i have ever known
there is you
and the love we grew
i am marked and counted
as a child
and a boy come to manhood
with every fashion
of aspiration and ascension
now brought through love
and wedded true
to thine love
so pure
and nothing is gone
we are found everywhere
in waiting
in sleeping
in eating the feast prepared
and served for all
for every time we held and felt
what never has been felt before
come again and again
through lifes revolving door
and there you are
unannointed
and beautiful
in your souls wedding gown
for i am alive and thrown down
at once renewed
and held promised
with your love
evermore

safely dying

risky morning light
sun of my midnight
the endless twilight
of seeking unknown insights
i travel with your meaning
clinging to your enlightenment
perish in your sleep from
every minute spent undoing
what has been done before
and i am cast forth alone
where i have never gone
with you i was safely dying
now another sees me
and i run without thinking
because passion
is my pleasures doom
when love becomes making
and taking
and forgetting
i am lost and tossed away
for another comes
and each another face
another heart
another love
without knowing
your perfect devotion
and flowing aspiration
making my every dream
a puff of dandelion gone
and my heart anew
finds no other love
but you

loves forgiveness

by measure of mans meaning
we are poor beasts rutting
careless in a field of plenty
uncaring for our fortune or our worth
once taken by force
we aquiesce and sing for our masters
for every scrap we can wheedle and cajole
yet i see a different beast coming
a tiger of intellect
and a master of emotions gaurded
every thought sparks a new intuition
and every sound a paranoid suspicion
a quivering maelstrom of hunger wanting
and fear under a mantle of agression
and here the force is wicked
and loses no minutes in contemplation or play
the man of this world has become
the criminal of the divine
for he would preach the soul of man
is bitter and lost
unworthy of a moments thought
and only the things he holds
are the treasure he can claim
and so he does in vast amounts
without a care for any
that he would destroy along the way
they call them society's children
and sociopaths of the cloistered privileged
they would hold what cannot be theirs
and strike down any that speak against them
let this be their epitath
for in death they are surely brought down
and everything taken
and for the space of a single life
of ransom and dark glory
they will endure an eternity
of painful seperation
from their own hearts connection
a billion lifetimes of pain
without knowing why
and never a love that is true
or a heart that cares
let them be their own reward
and die without the toys they so adored
until the final understanding
leaves them caring for every heart
with so much love and affection
for the pain they brought unending
and to none can they feel close
for their fate is always to be wronged
no matter what good they do
until in some distant land
where love and truth and virtue
are held high from every heart
and into their sweet compassion
he might come
and they would kiss the lepers boils
and cleanse him with undying love
that he has never known before
and when such stories are told
the ending would be his fortune gained
he would spend lifetimes in this service beyond counting
and be forever kissing lepers
and preaching loves forgiveness
to lowest of the low
until god himself
could no longer be offended with his sins
and bring him back to his divine love
that is more precious than all the gold
for which he suffered untold sorrows

unfaded

whatever time is spent in devotion, prayer,
meditation of the divine
that we experience in this life
that is the benefit
the addition
the building of love
for our highest aspiration
of self and creator
not the quick fix
of a hungry injection
or toke of musky herbs
or some sniff of a powder harsh
and an instants relief
but rather the long slow climb
of the mountains of the heart
where we claim step by step
that which we are becoming
until finally with sweet resolution
we are atop
and owning the proud moment
where all else falls away
and we are revealed to our true love
and maker of every feeling known to our existence
and there is only thy self alone
atop the pinnacle of consciousness
stripped of every artifice
and baring itself to the cosmic winds
where dark blue skys reach through
to stars in the daylight
and in that moment
everything is revealed as true
without measure or limit of mind
in your final moment of achievement
high above all you have ever known,
the gaze of an instant
is to the center of your heart
unerring and true
everything comes back to you
without the relics of attachments
or the the trappings of the clergy
there is your divine nature
untouched unfaded
by whatever the journey has taken

confessional

that which is given
gives love
that which gives loves
feels everything intensely
i am in love with this sad story for i have lived it many times
strangely evocative and moving in its doom and certain suffering
here is man in his life cast out from the garden
as you say
under the influence
of mercury
i love you with the errant song of yesterdays denied
and this the last day for all we know
i again sing to thee without sadness
without any of the memories of happinesss
but to my miracle renewed in your sweet devotion returned
we place hands together and love whatever comes
renewal comes from the fall of love into the regions of the flesh
and the pure devotion and trust that such perfection can never be denied
for having loved and never strayed from the temple of its sacrament
gods simplest beggar is never far nor ever barred from loves communion
in this confessional of our hearts truth we speak of every sin imagined
and through the masked divide we seek resolute penance and contrition
four our fathers and a rosary of conditions as priest and penitent part
and i step forth from the sin of loves restitution and step into thine heart

mercury

the last elixir of love spent its droplets done and paid
what was this madness i desired with my own life at stake
the mornings come and there is nothing
no life no wife no lover no sun
i am found empty but far from done
this chiseled form and fantasy hangs
on my last chance for happiness
the last path to completion
my exit from this land undone
tonight i feel not uplifted not centered not hopeful,
the slice of life is come with knife attached
whats spent is gone, is new coin to come
or is it the poverty of love thats finally found my heart
my life seems twisted like a building sideways or a picture upside down
i wait until the whiskey makes it turn around
where the dead go and the living come
with every fear they ever knew holding them in place
i would speak my piece and warn them they travel best alone
for in pairs, the monkey face will wreck your heart and home
what is it you cannot keep and cannot give away
the mercury of your aspirations
will melt and dissapate
each monday feels like grave diggers overtime
and the week is longer then a politicians promise
the moneys tight the women a fright
your feeling plowed and down
how is this spirit, being, self above
ever to come home

mad lover

Self: LOVE
Self: just logged on
I logged out after you said - good night at 6pm or so
read all beautiful words
I am flying in them
i was wondering where you were
i just decided to write about things other than us
sort of
i am your death reborn and the cauldron of our loves elixer
i am just a writing machine now
i feel lost without my words flowing and my heart knowing what it feels
every moment it stops i am wondering what next will come
if when how where why
my thoughts continue to escape me and the fingers have found their own magic
speak to me because when we talk i can find peace
i can stop and not wonder
you are my knowing self
this second is pain
and this and this
marking time with you gone
i wanted to connect here tonight and you were here a minute ago
Self: and now I am back
but i suffer these small vacancies
Self: we keep missing each other
yesssss
we do for a reason
so i have no peace
because peace would mean end and end would mean freedom
Self: be free
in Love
but with you i have nothing left
i give it all to you
Self: in the secret chamber of my heart
and I accept
lay in Her lap and go
i would if she would comfort me as you do
did you read my words for you?
i am in love with all of it for some reason
Self: new post?
I haven't
i know you want to fly and i too am not loving anything as much as you love me going completely insane
Self: OH YES
but this is important before we cry or feel real i want you to tell me you love the final work because its all i have now
Self: I LOVE EVERY WORD THAT TOUCHES THY FINGER TIPS AND I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH THE POET
and i am an animal now a fur growing soil rooting mouth breather
thank you master
Self: Thou Art nothing but a mad lover transforming to LOVE, LOVE alone
it makes this slave feel happy
i need your mad love before i breathe
Self: never call Him a slave, he is Her mad Lover
when i talk to you i am like a child finding his orphaned sister
Self: and I find the universe in Thee
and knowing loves return
knowing hearts completion
i am done in your heart and everywhere else is lost to me
when the morning comes and i am alone i know just enough to be pure in your dreams
Self: words create a dictionary of Love and are also lost in themselves
i lose myself in my typing
what i give you is raw and real
it bleeds before it prints
you make the floor of my sacrifice ready
the abattoir of my heart
Self: the height of Love I reach with reading words on this screen is same as the depth of my Heart
you seem to float where i swim and sail where i desperately follow
you are my gideon and gilgamesh
guide and companion
heart and soul of my words
only my love for you gives me a compass to follow
all else is damning madness
where would i be if not here and what would i do if not love you
that is fear naked and ashamed for its shallow nature
when time comes to its next pause, i am full of only love
Self: I love You
i love your giving heart your gentle spirit your beauty unknown but to me
where ever you are i know i have love and i feel your heart ringing everywhere
i was getting so very involved in our love and my attchments i become lost
for it becomes real to me your touching my passion and knowing it is yours even to deny
for i am just a man become touched with singular clarity of my hearts fate
and every word left behind will come back to love me for trying
Self: hugging you
how is it you found me so perfectly at such a perfect time to make our lives mean this much for each other?
Self: how is it that you knocked at my cube and smelt the blooming of Love in this very small heart?
its not a love story its the story of adam and eve in paradise
there was no other
Self: yesss
yin and yang
and none were needed
both of us naked souls holding each others hearts
Self: yes
i wanteed to protect you and love you from the moment we met
Self: I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT
you were so special so true and open and then you blossomed into love
Self: as i would have been left robbed by any other
i watched them come and i watched you go and was sure you would love to love me
Self: and you held the Truth in me, protected me so the Love could blossom
yes, you saw it all
and endured it all
watched your Love go
everything that happenned was my knowing you loved me for loving you
Self: and then pulled it back
yes
i knew what would be perfect for you would be perfect for me
no matter how strange it seemed
Self: yes
you found you where i was looking too
Self: and you made it come true
yes
we found ourselves together
in the same place
in the same heart
in our love
Self: it is Love
but real love is a perfect reason to make life fun
Self: I agree
nothing to worry about no one to be judging
then we have only love to keep us company
Self: drenching in Love
and we can fly
truly lift our wings and show ourselves who we really can be
Self: Love, we can only be Love
and cry for joy with our first attempts to love
and make us perfect for our selves
the words are working hard to make you realize what no one else can tell us
we have created a force we alone carry
it roars with our joy and growls to protect us
where blind follow or weak imitate there is only broken hearts
our love ignites the truth to be known
Self: YES
and it is why i put it our there dont hold back or even try to make it understandable
it is the love we always felt
Self: yesss
always knew we had found
Self: love
we have come home
the pain was unbearable
the path was unknown
the roads lost
i have come to your heart as a man of gentle mercies and hold you with every love i can feel
Self: no mark
but Love itself guided us
and we are home
i want you to know i am settled into this and love you more if that is even possible
for when this is done we are gone
nothing remains for this earth to claim
this is the path you seek and the holy grail of deaths endless completion
when love is found and made divine and felt when all else is unbelieving there is the passion and the reward we all know
union endless union
Self: merger
ONE
and ONLY
we have come to the altar and laid our hearts to total devotion
Self: I agree
our lord is come and we are love done and never undone
i find in my writing the soul of what i love with you and want you to share its totality of passion
Self: I feel it
so every word is true beyond meaning and carries the force we create
you and i
create loves fusion
Self: yes
create loves ultimate meaning
Self: yes
unwritten until now
Self: driving to work tomorrow?
flying
Self: hehehe
YES
i would kiss thee first and then fling my body to the war of the machines
Self: I know
I only return Thy Love
as I too was an empty vessel
now you fill me
and I have become full
for then i would have thy word that we are like none other
Self: swear
and you will not try me with more empty trials
Self: never
my love is yours alone and now forever
what is coming to me is coming to thee and we are the receivers of loves rich bounty
Self: promises never broken
grace unending and final meaning revealed
Self: as I am THINE forever
i have found my soul and i will make this right between us
Self: yes
here and now i am found and you are with me
Self: always
what grace is given is ours as was our meditation today
Self: YES
I agree
I am feeling to meditate now
you can rest with me and love will be thine
Self: it comes like thick fog
enveloping
i too am overwhelmed with you
Self: ditto
i am yours
Self: and I, Yours
all
Self: all
nothing is left
Self: done
gone
forever given
be sweet in my thoughts and find me in your dreams
for i am there
Self: thank you Love
thank you
Self: Sweet Night
you have brought me here as i have brought you
Self: yes
sweet sweet love
Self: sweetest Love
hugs
and more hugs
Self: I shall find You in the dawn on the petals of all flowers
hugs and more hugs
long and soft hugs
yessssss

new hearts

is my love gone
is she lost to me for reasons i will only think of
when i see her some day long from now
and never soon and forever far
there a winking eye and a hungered breath
will catch a sight of her sweet form alive
and gone from thinking where i felt her near before
instantly i would sense her energy uncoiling
like a summer bean plant toiling in the gardens rows
marry not and tarry not
for the sweet breezes turn to hurrying storms
and she is gone and torn from here
for what is never clear
but is always far and never near enough
for my faint heart to follow
i see her like i see the swallows come
and nest and field their hatchlings
singing till the tempest rings
with falls bequest of tempered skies
and leaves of red and yellow fire
and all the trees undressing
now through a frozen winter where
lost loves coal embers in the stove
and chill mornings breath fills
with wondrous clouds of steaming teas
and poured black coffees ground rich and strong
summers seasoned wood now chopped and stacked
braced with canvas oiled and lashed
for winters wet and cold are coming
from northern winds with icy haste
and here the handmade woolen mufflers
hardy socks under pulled on boots
with bright mittens over chilly fingers
and knitted hats of every color hung over
fireplaces stoked with red chimney faces full
and pungent smoke racing from their towers
love is in the warming bundled comforters
and downy resting beds of sturdy wooden nights.
filled with punkin headed children studying
and fathers reading glasses perched under bushy eyes
reading late into the quiet
dark solstice night comes early dark
and for every cheery heart is met
with a red faced smile brought
all the family dressed in christmas reds
hike through paths piled deep in snow
to sing the herald songs anew
and see the ornaments of plenty glow
for in the quiet of winters sleep
where lovers dream their hearts complete
morning brings the promise of spring
full with endless loving keeps
everything this winters wait has saved
neath cold and wet and snowing
the seed of love is buried deep
and our new hearts are growing

poet

the poet is not known
the poet is not alive
the poet is a feeling stick
scraped across the empty sidewalk

carnival

passed beating lights and carousels
crowded boardwalks and green sno cones
we hang like monkeys from the railings
and scream with new found delight
where those times came
and we leapt on boards of speed
and music under every seat
pulsing with fever and fright
then the lights flared
and the bells whistled frantic
and laughter punctured every sight
how long did the dash through haunted fancies
and rides upon winged craft
require our moments passion wait
and left us hanging upside down
coated cooked corny dogs
and syrupy sweet sodas
exploded our mouths laughing
and funny pictures taken
in bad lights and bright eyes
there we were until midnight
and the frying skies still alight
with unearthly passions striking
we waited so long for the music to die
and the last house to go by
lights hidden and darkness bidden
from our expectant touch

brave fear

gone we are now past the places we have been
past towers of infinity
and red wine like buckets
from the vineyards of heaven
now it is the desert empty
and the winter before the spring
where mountains rise like purpled beasts
covered in snowy mantles
and the air is hoary white
where daffodils were plucked
from reed covered lakes and flowered streams
now heavenly patterns of frozen sky climb
unencumbered to the airy heights

we speak the tongues of new born flesh
and caress our bodies with the oil of the sun
creatures linger in the distant brush
where only low snarls
and the thrash of rabbits
disturbs the silken air
bare night hangs down
with but its edges shown
moons members beam
and the earth sparkles
in its glittered light
and what glimmers more than diamonds
come emeralds in your eyes gleaming
with the stars barest reflections
pale on your browned flesh
and darkened lips

how bare our passion follows us,
waiting in a purring growl of hot menace
every step longer and through ravines
rocky and gutted with thorns
where are we to bed
and be wedded this rough journey
when is the pale blue plane of seeing
become the desperate meaning of too fevered breasts
being inside thy loves secret dreams
and feeling my jeweled fever
holding my flowing truth
to the hearts of the demons passion
and empty this foolish happiness
and brave fear no more

daily feeling

posted every sense and sweet
i am in awe of my love and where are you?
lover: just came from Wal Mart
lover: how are you???
so in love
i meditated after work
and then saw your note on the IM
and i was sent away
from that which is here and there to that which is what it is
all my time
lover: sent away?
with a heart unwoken and and a heart taken and broken
lover: Love you
in every part of me love stricken
i wrote as i new i would
you liked it
i know
i am dying with the truth
speak to me you
speak your words to sooth my soul speeding to you
i think in every minute i am destroyed
lover: yes
lover: I am too
lover: everything is so intense
for none could feel loves truth and be left to live denied
lover: yesss
intense you felt my blood gushing and the wound widened
what joy is pain
lover: and pain, joy
what lust desire felt undending
for i am trapped in the deadly fantasy
the feeling of being supremely alive
near every opening concealed
in your arms i die and left knowing i am the maker of love
of love and every lovers desire
lover: yes
lover: you are a beautiful Lover
i slept until i died your sweet love left me living
and now i am finally knowing what god suffers
his own creation seduces my only wanting pain
when love came there was light and creation unknown in all wonder
and my heart wanted to die before this could kill my every found desire
lover: yes
and there you were alight and annointed and undying
wistful and secretly lifting my heat
only this made living life
loving love
feeling your sweet seduction
lover: Thou Art Love
lover: in that I become Beloved, Lover
is it you or am i left to wonder till my endless day
returning and returning in trembling passion
reliving one moment created alone and unending perfectly expressing forever melting
lover: YES
what mention can man have in the play of heaven
meaning found and left behind
lover: yess
ok you are right i am too gone to be alive
too done to begin
too lost to be found
lover: YES
what is this i have nothing but everything is mine
lover: and we meet in the Lostness, where it begins and where we are just becoming alive
i feel the earth is our nest our home our recluse and passion
eden unleashed
and there is no mystery but why i cannot die
peace and love sweets
lover: Thou Art Love
lover: meet You in dreams
this is every acid dream and surrender of sanity come to find meaning without form
i bleed from my eyes and see with my heart
LOVE YOU
lover: LOVE YOU
lover: You are SO beautiful
and thine self is so loving to me
lover: You have gone step further from me
lover: if I am anyone to measure Love
i feel your every heartbeat every breath and thought
your touch is loves whisper in my ear
lover: You are precious
you fill my every thought with love
i can never know waking without you
lover: and You, MINE
be my sacred transport and fly me to our loves sweet end
lover: have a wonderful peaceful night with Thy Beloved
lover: YESSSS
night funnyface
lover: nite nite
i giggle you not
lover: hehehe
lover: You are precious
my munchkin love

pretenders and believers

all things in flight
heart soul madness
i am waiting for release and abandon
the time leaps and stutters
i am fishing and catching love from past moments
i speak and do nothing listen and hear the answers never spoken
what waits completes
hurries and never understands
the moment you love me i am done
we feel our passion from momentary words written on inventions
lost and found missing
while billions cannot feel
our hearts speak
our love matters
inside i am a frozen flame rushing through caverns of denial
where am i but inside us
and how am i but feeeling everything
i miss every minute and cling to every hope
passsion fruitless dreams spanning lifetimes
i speak and everyone knows
i think and feel alone
i feel and your not with me
i know i am free to go
where is this moment what have i created
mylove: Love
here i find perfection
there i see the end
loving you
my heart simply being
every thought is matter
every matter desire
what we have is the end of fullness
completion
stagnant lust
there i am fallen to hold the flag of my being
another one caught in the procession
of pretenders and believers flown to one last game
who is my love that i can hardly comprehend how she can be my dreams and passion
i am not everything but an incomplete creation stepping into the light
understanding what i know more than i want to
where are you where are we where is this going
i hunger and feel nothing
but you shine for me you create me
and i fall reaching and now i create you
what have we done what crime is this that love mandates
mylove: are we in samadhi?
none but holding truth as a whip and beating my callous flesh
i love you more for what you have not
for in that lacking i cherish my failings
is this magical or madness
crime or deliverance from fools
oh strike me for not believing
but you are my god and i am your sinner
i hang myself at your gallows and scream for your sentencing
its life that makes us weak and death that gives us meaning
find me waiting here when i die
when the passion leaves and the work remains we lurch across in broken clay
marrionettes of some sinister design
i come to you you make love a religion
i make love a never ending ecstacy of my mind
and then we are together and find its never done never empty
and i am struck with the truth
mylove: and I have run out of words to write
You express what I always wanted to say
love cascades into endless reasons to return again and again
and until we are through it can never end
and i die crying for release from every bit every infinite feeling
is this what i mean to tell you when i want you more than death
please tell me for my self is ruined with your love
please for pity is unbecoming and love is running from my veins
i see you like my self perfected and unwanted
a meaning without purpose when love ends
talk to me i am a broken idol forgetten in memory or time
mylove: I am lost in Thy words
words of Love
that express me and my own Heart
I am here forever Loving Thee
in every moment
every moment of this existance
i want thee
i want where there is no feeling
but the wanting hungers and is never satisfied
mylove: yes
yes
that moment came to me last night
and I ran away from it
fear took over
lets go there together
how the hunger knows you
your every name
every form
every lingering scent
mylove: as I am also forever empty and hungry yet swept away
i would make you my prisoner and die a horrible billion times
to know you would i never die never end this empty passion
but nothing can resist the cries of my hearts empty feelings unending
you fill me and i am doomed
mylove: and empty me and fill me again
in your heart i would hide from you and never leave
mylove: YES
and I would never let You leave
there i would build a citadel from your loving heart and lay siege for your soul
for that victory would make me gods master and the king of hearts undone
you have my love ransomed by your smile and left without a care for tomorrow
the truth i feel breaks my will and puts my soul in purgatory
i would take you and break you but i am powerless from your touch
in sanctuary i would find timeless centuries to make you love me
the beast and endles divine lover of your soul
and cast down as sinning angels from heavens gate
there would i wait endless
for one last look upon your face across my eyes trapped inside your last thought
before i fell perfectly from grace
for what is love but tragedy awaiting favorable times
love me once and never deny my corruption
mylove: Yes
i am lost
mylove: I found You
right here
right now
in this endless tableau of perfect understanding we watch our hearts explode
i know you hear me and i am struck deaf and dumb with such force
i am helpless but for you
what i write only you read
only you understand this meaningful passion
i pray this is so
for if every heart were such all understanding would be forgotten and all hearts would be at an end
mylove: who am I to say yes... all I know is that Your each word is for me and I drench in it to stay alive
i fill you with my every passion to steal you from your self
mylove: this is so
I had also lost myself and found someone else in me
and now I know, who
like a thief i found the greatest treasure
and she would never leave her own self for me
so i tricked her into thinking there was something more to be
mylove: and she fell for it
like a redwood tree
oh my love i am so undone
i know what it is i want but know it is only yours to have
mylove: what is it
i hunger like a starving pilgrim at the mosque of your love
mylove: all my Love is THINE
for Thee... forever
and all of you is not eneough unless it is only mine
so i suffer
for my divine greed
mylove: all is Thine and Thine only
full
complete
only You have created it
i want that without end without knowing without forgetting
until i can only die with you
mylove: me too
that is my aspiration and my plea since I was created
then let us go let us be that
mylove: yes
yes
yes
yes
is this heart strong enough
this love pure enough
from a patchwork soul like mine
mylove: is my Love enough?
made from a million ties and fixes
losses and tricks to become some wandering heart open wide
mylove: Thou Art magnificient in every part of the Creation
and you my sweet love a broken part of me and her together
to be more than even i can hold or fill
i flee from your love and find it anyway
find it and bury it deeper
mylove: no
holding it High and strong
and now cry like a wolf for the moon
mylove: I walk with its strength
for i know what it is i live and die for
and can no longer deny my self
i this time this life this moment
mylove: Love of Her
know you are my hearts realization
mylove: tingled our hearts lifetimes ago
yes her in you in me
mylove: and we are still smitten by Her
i am the smitten one
mylove: and I?
the fool that sees you as her and her as you
mylove: I Love the Fool
and cannot have one without the other
mylove: as there are very few fools around and I found mine
one or the other would leave the balance undone
i am the fools paradise
room for one more
mylove: who would that be? as I am already in Thee
room for one together
mylove: YES
when making you me and me your true self found
we are become her love renewed
mylove: YES
there is no time or space for Thee right now but my Love, She awaits for Thee
and that brings me to this word play of questions that never stops me from only touching your heart with my souls gentle feeling
i see the clock too clearly and hasten to my dreams where you await
i am your love
your devotee kneeling at the altar of your creation
mylove: and I bow to Thee
I am forever in debt to Thee
bless me bless myfeelings my denials my reasons that never waver
mylove: for holding Love so close, making it one breath and never shaking
i hope these solliloquies would spark you to flame
mylove: I Love everything about Thee... Blessings
for i wish to make your passions rise
and feel my heat that freshens yours
mylove: they have risen and I can't see the top
sing lullabyes from your name
mylove: I Love You madly
oh my love i will always love you
all ways
mylove: Me TOO
take rest my love
how can this end when i am never ending
never resting
from your love
thank you
mylove: meet You when the Sun rises
and sleep in my love never part
mylove: and from Thy Heart... thank YOU
yes
mylove: YES
You are forever in me... until the River's end
how do i know we are there still
mylove: that is all there IS
that will NEVER die
my most devout wish and plan
mylove: my breathing originates there
so I live
i flow from that moment into now and touch you with my love
mylove: and I touch Thee, right back
i would have you never satisfied but for that instants purpose
love love love