pretenders and believers

all things in flight
heart soul madness
i am waiting for release and abandon
the time leaps and stutters
i am fishing and catching love from past moments
i speak and do nothing listen and hear the answers never spoken
what waits completes
hurries and never understands
the moment you love me i am done
we feel our passion from momentary words written on inventions
lost and found missing
while billions cannot feel
our hearts speak
our love matters
inside i am a frozen flame rushing through caverns of denial
where am i but inside us
and how am i but feeeling everything
i miss every minute and cling to every hope
passsion fruitless dreams spanning lifetimes
i speak and everyone knows
i think and feel alone
i feel and your not with me
i know i am free to go
where is this moment what have i created
mylove: Love
here i find perfection
there i see the end
loving you
my heart simply being
every thought is matter
every matter desire
what we have is the end of fullness
completion
stagnant lust
there i am fallen to hold the flag of my being
another one caught in the procession
of pretenders and believers flown to one last game
who is my love that i can hardly comprehend how she can be my dreams and passion
i am not everything but an incomplete creation stepping into the light
understanding what i know more than i want to
where are you where are we where is this going
i hunger and feel nothing
but you shine for me you create me
and i fall reaching and now i create you
what have we done what crime is this that love mandates
mylove: are we in samadhi?
none but holding truth as a whip and beating my callous flesh
i love you more for what you have not
for in that lacking i cherish my failings
is this magical or madness
crime or deliverance from fools
oh strike me for not believing
but you are my god and i am your sinner
i hang myself at your gallows and scream for your sentencing
its life that makes us weak and death that gives us meaning
find me waiting here when i die
when the passion leaves and the work remains we lurch across in broken clay
marrionettes of some sinister design
i come to you you make love a religion
i make love a never ending ecstacy of my mind
and then we are together and find its never done never empty
and i am struck with the truth
mylove: and I have run out of words to write
You express what I always wanted to say
love cascades into endless reasons to return again and again
and until we are through it can never end
and i die crying for release from every bit every infinite feeling
is this what i mean to tell you when i want you more than death
please tell me for my self is ruined with your love
please for pity is unbecoming and love is running from my veins
i see you like my self perfected and unwanted
a meaning without purpose when love ends
talk to me i am a broken idol forgetten in memory or time
mylove: I am lost in Thy words
words of Love
that express me and my own Heart
I am here forever Loving Thee
in every moment
every moment of this existance
i want thee
i want where there is no feeling
but the wanting hungers and is never satisfied
mylove: yes
yes
that moment came to me last night
and I ran away from it
fear took over
lets go there together
how the hunger knows you
your every name
every form
every lingering scent
mylove: as I am also forever empty and hungry yet swept away
i would make you my prisoner and die a horrible billion times
to know you would i never die never end this empty passion
but nothing can resist the cries of my hearts empty feelings unending
you fill me and i am doomed
mylove: and empty me and fill me again
in your heart i would hide from you and never leave
mylove: YES
and I would never let You leave
there i would build a citadel from your loving heart and lay siege for your soul
for that victory would make me gods master and the king of hearts undone
you have my love ransomed by your smile and left without a care for tomorrow
the truth i feel breaks my will and puts my soul in purgatory
i would take you and break you but i am powerless from your touch
in sanctuary i would find timeless centuries to make you love me
the beast and endles divine lover of your soul
and cast down as sinning angels from heavens gate
there would i wait endless
for one last look upon your face across my eyes trapped inside your last thought
before i fell perfectly from grace
for what is love but tragedy awaiting favorable times
love me once and never deny my corruption
mylove: Yes
i am lost
mylove: I found You
right here
right now
in this endless tableau of perfect understanding we watch our hearts explode
i know you hear me and i am struck deaf and dumb with such force
i am helpless but for you
what i write only you read
only you understand this meaningful passion
i pray this is so
for if every heart were such all understanding would be forgotten and all hearts would be at an end
mylove: who am I to say yes... all I know is that Your each word is for me and I drench in it to stay alive
i fill you with my every passion to steal you from your self
mylove: this is so
I had also lost myself and found someone else in me
and now I know, who
like a thief i found the greatest treasure
and she would never leave her own self for me
so i tricked her into thinking there was something more to be
mylove: and she fell for it
like a redwood tree
oh my love i am so undone
i know what it is i want but know it is only yours to have
mylove: what is it
i hunger like a starving pilgrim at the mosque of your love
mylove: all my Love is THINE
for Thee... forever
and all of you is not eneough unless it is only mine
so i suffer
for my divine greed
mylove: all is Thine and Thine only
full
complete
only You have created it
i want that without end without knowing without forgetting
until i can only die with you
mylove: me too
that is my aspiration and my plea since I was created
then let us go let us be that
mylove: yes
yes
yes
yes
is this heart strong enough
this love pure enough
from a patchwork soul like mine
mylove: is my Love enough?
made from a million ties and fixes
losses and tricks to become some wandering heart open wide
mylove: Thou Art magnificient in every part of the Creation
and you my sweet love a broken part of me and her together
to be more than even i can hold or fill
i flee from your love and find it anyway
find it and bury it deeper
mylove: no
holding it High and strong
and now cry like a wolf for the moon
mylove: I walk with its strength
for i know what it is i live and die for
and can no longer deny my self
i this time this life this moment
mylove: Love of Her
know you are my hearts realization
mylove: tingled our hearts lifetimes ago
yes her in you in me
mylove: and we are still smitten by Her
i am the smitten one
mylove: and I?
the fool that sees you as her and her as you
mylove: I Love the Fool
and cannot have one without the other
mylove: as there are very few fools around and I found mine
one or the other would leave the balance undone
i am the fools paradise
room for one more
mylove: who would that be? as I am already in Thee
room for one together
mylove: YES
when making you me and me your true self found
we are become her love renewed
mylove: YES
there is no time or space for Thee right now but my Love, She awaits for Thee
and that brings me to this word play of questions that never stops me from only touching your heart with my souls gentle feeling
i see the clock too clearly and hasten to my dreams where you await
i am your love
your devotee kneeling at the altar of your creation
mylove: and I bow to Thee
I am forever in debt to Thee
bless me bless myfeelings my denials my reasons that never waver
mylove: for holding Love so close, making it one breath and never shaking
i hope these solliloquies would spark you to flame
mylove: I Love everything about Thee... Blessings
for i wish to make your passions rise
and feel my heat that freshens yours
mylove: they have risen and I can't see the top
sing lullabyes from your name
mylove: I Love You madly
oh my love i will always love you
all ways
mylove: Me TOO
take rest my love
how can this end when i am never ending
never resting
from your love
thank you
mylove: meet You when the Sun rises
and sleep in my love never part
mylove: and from Thy Heart... thank YOU
yes
mylove: YES
You are forever in me... until the River's end
how do i know we are there still
mylove: that is all there IS
that will NEVER die
my most devout wish and plan
mylove: my breathing originates there
so I live
i flow from that moment into now and touch you with my love
mylove: and I touch Thee, right back
i would have you never satisfied but for that instants purpose
love love love