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Monday, March 8, 2010

not being right

you are constantly taking on others energy
death of purpose
for if we do not move forward or backward
then we are no where
we feed on our emotions like vultures
ripping them to shreds for survival
its due to your lack of self acceptance
you feel you have to be going through change to be ok
its just the most recent feeling that counts
we are in the moment
it is both wonderful and horrible
which seems longer, better, correct
but to just feel ordinary
face in the crowd
i need to relax
the world is too much with me
and no where is there a friendly time
so i take a pill instead of alcohol
i should just have a beer instead
it makes little difference
to my liver
pill or beer
its not starting
i have lost all attachment
to being high
it a medical state of hyper awareness of the ordinary
all is mundane
not lofty or demoniacal
but uninteresting and motionless
the idea of change is actually unusual and suspect
your sickness, mine
being you is to accept the decisions and make them yours
create love where there was pain
all the time we make decisions
its not being right
its being in ownership
that is still a lack of trust in your self
so you try to connect to other systems of belief
and those are like a foreign body invading your immune system
you react negatively
you are constantly immersed in others affairs
you lose contact with your experience of your true nature
so you look outside yourself for reference points
you have as much right to everything in this world as anyone else
more in fact
but being restricted negates that
the universe cannot respond to belief systems
only to true experience of desires
the need to be spiritually free
requires the acceptance and release of true desire
so that the universe can give you what you need
then you can be complete with it
by following the path of knowledge that restricts that
you become unfulfilled
and the universe passes
there is nothing to fulfill
no bringing together forces and elements
you must connect to your elemental nature
its your love
your nature
and it is that which is being expressed
you can never be without it
but at times you are not connecting
and are reacting to beliefs not experiences
the surface of life is like skin
its sensitive
it reacts and nurtures
it feels pain and pleasure
but it also protects what is inside
what is important
so in life
we see every ones skin
not their true nature
so its a fragile world
with very thin skin
out there

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