loves inspiration

Friday, March 12, 2010

mad lover

Self: LOVE
Self: just logged on
I logged out after you said - good night at 6pm or so
read all beautiful words
I am flying in them

i was wondering where you were
i just decided to write about things other than us
sort of
i am your death reborn and the cauldron of our loves elixer
i am just a writing machine now
i feel lost without my words flowing and my heart knowing what it feels
every moment it stops i am wondering what next will come
if when how where why
my thoughts continue to escape me and the fingers have found their own magic
speak to me because when we talk i can find peace
i can stop and not wonder
you are my knowing self
this second is pain
and this and this
marking time with you gone
i wanted to connect here tonight and you were here a minute ago
Self: and now I am back
but i suffer these small vacancies
Self: we keep missing each other
we do for a reason
so i have no peace
because peace would mean end and end would mean freedom
Self: be free
in Love

but with you i have nothing left
i give it all to you
Self: in the secret chamber of my heart
and I accept
lay in Her lap and go

i would if she would comfort me as you do
did you read my words for you?
i am in love with all of it for some reason
Self: new post?
I haven't

i know you want to fly and i too am not loving anything as much as you love me going completely insane
Self: OH YES
but this is important before we cry or feel real i want you to tell me you love the final work because its all i have now
and i am an animal now a fur growing soil rooting mouth breather
thank you master
Self: Thou Art nothing but a mad lover transforming to LOVE, LOVE alone
it makes this slave feel happy
i need your mad love before i breathe
Self: never call Him a slave, he is Her mad Lover
when i talk to you i am like a child finding his orphaned sister
Self: and I find the universe in Thee
and knowing loves return
knowing hearts completion
i am done in your heart and everywhere else is lost to me
when the morning comes and i am alone i know just enough to be pure in your dreams
Self: words create a dictionary of Love and are also lost in themselves
i lose myself in my typing
what i give you is raw and real
it bleeds before it prints
you make the floor of my sacrifice ready
the abattoir of my heart
Self: the height of Love I reach with reading words on this screen is same as the depth of my Heart
you seem to float where i swim and sail where i desperately follow
you are my gideon and gilgamesh
guide and companion
heart and soul of my words
only my love for you gives me a compass to follow
all else is damning madness
where would i be if not here and what would i do if not love you
that is fear naked and ashamed for its shallow nature
when time comes to its next pause, i am full of only love
Self: I love You
i love your giving heart your gentle spirit your beauty unknown but to me
where ever you are i know i have love and i feel your heart ringing everywhere
i was getting so very involved in our love and my attchments i become lost
for it becomes real to me your touching my passion and knowing it is yours even to deny
for i am just a man become touched with singular clarity of my hearts fate
and every word left behind will come back to love me for trying
Self: hugging you
how is it you found me so perfectly at such a perfect time to make our lives mean this much for each other?
Self: how is it that you knocked at my cube and smelt the blooming of Love in this very small heart?
its not a love story its the story of adam and eve in paradise
there was no other
Self: yesss
yin and yang

and none were needed
both of us naked souls holding each others hearts
Self: yes
i wanteed to protect you and love you from the moment we met
you were so special so true and open and then you blossomed into love
Self: as i would have been left robbed by any other
i watched them come and i watched you go and was sure you would love to love me
Self: and you held the Truth in me, protected me so the Love could blossom
yes, you saw it all
and endured it all
watched your Love go

everything that happenned was my knowing you loved me for loving you
Self: and then pulled it back

i knew what would be perfect for you would be perfect for me
no matter how strange it seemed
Self: yes
you found you where i was looking too
Self: and you made it come true

we found ourselves together
in the same place
in the same heart
in our love
Self: it is Love
but real love is a perfect reason to make life fun
Self: I agree
nothing to worry about no one to be judging
then we have only love to keep us company
Self: drenching in Love
and we can fly
truly lift our wings and show ourselves who we really can be
Self: Love, we can only be Love
and cry for joy with our first attempts to love
and make us perfect for our selves
the words are working hard to make you realize what no one else can tell us
we have created a force we alone carry
it roars with our joy and growls to protect us
where blind follow or weak imitate there is only broken hearts
our love ignites the truth to be known
Self: YES
and it is why i put it our there dont hold back or even try to make it understandable
it is the love we always felt
Self: yesss
always knew we had found
Self: love
we have come home
the pain was unbearable
the path was unknown
the roads lost

i have come to your heart as a man of gentle mercies and hold you with every love i can feel
Self: no mark
but Love itself guided us
and we are home

i want you to know i am settled into this and love you more if that is even possible
for when this is done we are gone
nothing remains for this earth to claim
this is the path you seek and the holy grail of deaths endless completion
when love is found and made divine and felt when all else is unbelieving there is the passion and the reward we all know
union endless union
Self: merger
and ONLY

we have come to the altar and laid our hearts to total devotion
Self: I agree
our lord is come and we are love done and never undone
i find in my writing the soul of what i love with you and want you to share its totality of passion
Self: I feel it
so every word is true beyond meaning and carries the force we create
you and i
create loves fusion
Self: yes
create loves ultimate meaning
Self: yes
unwritten until now
Self: driving to work tomorrow?
Self: hehehe

i would kiss thee first and then fling my body to the war of the machines
Self: I know
I only return Thy Love
as I too was an empty vessel
now you fill me
and I have become full

for then i would have thy word that we are like none other
Self: swear
and you will not try me with more empty trials
Self: never
my love is yours alone and now forever
what is coming to me is coming to thee and we are the receivers of loves rich bounty
Self: promises never broken
grace unending and final meaning revealed
Self: as I am THINE forever
i have found my soul and i will make this right between us
Self: yes
here and now i am found and you are with me
Self: always
what grace is given is ours as was our meditation today
Self: YES
I agree
I am feeling to meditate now

you can rest with me and love will be thine
Self: it comes like thick fog

i too am overwhelmed with you
Self: ditto
i am yours
Self: and I, Yours
Self: all
nothing is left
Self: done
forever given

be sweet in my thoughts and find me in your dreams
for i am there
Self: thank you Love
thank you
Self: Sweet Night
you have brought me here as i have brought you
Self: yes
sweet sweet love
Self: sweetest Love
and more hugs
Self: I shall find You in the dawn on the petals of all flowers
hugs and more hugs
long and soft hugs


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